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Clinton Portis

Today’s Larry Johnson Thinks He Is 2005 Larry Johnson and Portis Is Priest Holmes

For reasons we can’t comprehend, the Redskins seem to be seriously interested in signing Larry Johnson, otherwise known as the Shaun Alexander Experiment 2.0. What a 31-year-old-to-be running back would bring to an already aging Skins backfield, I’m not sure. But LJ seems to think him and Portis together would be an unstoppable force:

“That’d be awesome,” Johnson said. “There hasn’t been a real good running back tandem in the league [for a while]. There’s always been one guy or three guys. It’d be just like how me and Priest Holmes was way back in the day. It’d be nice to be able to play aside somebody like that.”

A few things here, because listing is easy and I’m feeling lazy:

  1. Chris Johnson-LenDale White; DeAngelo Williams-Jonathan Stewart.
  2. LJ and Holmes were only a tandem for one season — 2004 (’03 was almost all Holmes, and LJ took over the majority of the load in ’05).
  3. To quote Cheese, “There ain’t no back in the day. Ain’t no nostalgia to this shit here. There’s just the street and the game and what happen here today.”

The sad truth is that LJ and CP together are just a couple of once-great, now-mediocre running backs that add up to a slow, old backfield.

Also, LJ beats women. So there’s that.

Update: And the Redskins sign Larry Johnson for three years, $12 million.

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.



  1. Erik

    March 12, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    Epic “The Wire” scene.

    “That was for Joe…”

  2. STIG

    March 12, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    yeah, LJ sucks and while I don’t doubt the validity the events listed in wikipedia I do have trouble wrapping my head around how he was arrested on October 10th for an event that occurred October 11th.

    This guy’s a douche but he’s not so stupid he actually went through with the crime they pre-arrested him for is he?

  3. Jamie Mottram

    March 12, 2010 at 3:30 PM

    How dare you question the validity of Wikipedia, sir?

  4. Matt K.

    March 12, 2010 at 7:48 PM

    Don’t these two basically do similar things? And not that it really matters, but there couldn’t have been another team willing to offer Johnson $12 million.

  5. Alex P

    March 12, 2010 at 10:32 PM

    annnnnnnnnnnd its official. Remind me why we hired Bruce Allen?

  6. DocJay

    March 12, 2010 at 10:58 PM

    Id rather have Betts and Cartwright back before this douchebag.
    This move doesnt give you much confidence for next season. The worst line in the league with these two old guys running through it.
    Poor Jason Campbell.

  7. Mike Bradley

    March 13, 2010 at 12:01 AM

    he will be31 but not alot of wear and tear on him like portis or other backs his age. he never really played his first couple of years, had 3 solid years and hasnt done anything in the last 3. so who knows, this may work for the best*

    it could have been worse and been lt for 3yrs…. everyone talks about locker room people and stuff and with carlos pouting, dhall capable of remebering he is dhall, fat albert and now lj, this could be a epic year and not for the good reasons we all want…..

    *and if it don’t, fuck him.

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