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This Is Not the Answer

terribletowel.jpgMuch was made last week — too much, in fact (looking in Steinz’s general direction) — about the large number of Steelers fans at FedEx during the Monday Nighter. Some say it was 15%, some say 30%, some say 50/50, I say who gives a shit … whatever the fuck, it was a lot. We already laid out the reasons why that was the case.

But that will have been two weeks ago by the time the Skins play Dallas this week, so it’s over and done with, right? Nah, not for Cerrato and Co., who announced that they shall retroactively counterbalance the number of Terrible Towels in FedEx by handing out towels of their own on Sunday night. Genius:

Yeah, in a move startling both for its timeliness and its originality, 50,000 burgundy ESPN980 will be handed out on Sunday night, 50,000 apparently being the estimated number of Redskins fans who will be on hand. […]

“I can’t get tickets,” one caller said Inside the Red Zone today.

“Everybody else could,” Vinny Cerrato replied. “All the Pittsburgh people could. You must have been calling the wrong people….We’re going to have nice towels so we won’t have the yellow Pittsburgh towels in the stadium. We’re going to have burgundy Redskins towels. So buy tickets so they don’t sell them to Cowboys fans.”

I’d imagine the fact that the Skins aren’t playing a team from Pittsburgh this week would help eliminate the yellow towels on its own. Also, the last time the Skins gave out towels should’ve been the final time. You might recall they had the number “21” on them and actually meant something, unlike this ridiculous gimmick from the brilliant minds at Redskins Park.

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.



  1. Jamie Mottram

    November 10, 2008 at 2:22 PM

    When the Skins played at Dallas you could hear the “Cooooool” cheers on TV when Cooley caught passes. It wasn’t a big deal.

    Of course, when Dallas fans are heard cheering on Sunday at FedEx, it will now get written about in the Post on Monday morning.

    PS: I hate this.

  2. bpmarkowitz

    November 10, 2008 at 2:23 PM

    This is a dumb idea, but why are they only giving out 50,000 in a 90,000 seat stadium?

    I guess the 40,000 Cowboys fans in attendance would not want them anyway.

    We are a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies

  3. bpmarkowitz

    November 10, 2008 at 2:38 PM

    I will add, that I think Steelers fans are a higher quality fan than the Cowboys. Plus they are a closer, geographically speaking, than the Cowboys. I really was not surprised to see so many of them at FedEx. Haven’t the Skins beaten Dallas 3 straight years at FedEx? Remember that Cowboys fan sleeping during that blowout? I think winning keeps the Cowboys fans away.

  4. soulrebel08

    November 10, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    Screw the towels, and screw the Steelers. Why they have such fan presence all over the US confuses me. Every day I have to drive by this dueches house with his “THIS IS STEELER COUNTRY” banner. I’m in Jersey for gods sakes!

  5. Jeff V

    November 10, 2008 at 3:01 PM

    JM: Wilbon doesn’t write in Dallas…

  6. Kori

    November 10, 2008 at 3:28 PM

    Why are we complaining about a Redskins freebie? I spend so much money on the Skins already, I get pretty pumped when I get handed anything on my way into FedEx. Not to mention, my 21 towel has been a great addition to my kitchen wash cloth collection. It’s nice to remember Sean when I’m doing something mindless, like washing the dishes.

    Also, it’s another way to pump up the fans, engage the 12th man and distract the ‘Girls.

    I say, bring on my free towel!!!

  7. WFY

    November 10, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    soulrebel08: The Pittsburgh economy has been contracting for forty years, so hundreds of thousands of people have moved away. They raise their kids as Pittsburghers too.

  8. MacG

    November 10, 2008 at 3:31 PM

    This towel idea seems stupid.

    Oh, Derrick Frost is cursing the Packers with his awfulness. Thanks to this blog for reminding me how much he sucked last season and Frost can not kick 40 yards in a dome with no pass rush.

    Yes, I am a bitter Pack fan. word

  9. Chris Mottram

    November 10, 2008 at 3:38 PM

    Just make sure you’re one of the first 50,000 in the stadium, Kori.

  10. Kori

    November 10, 2008 at 3:41 PM

    I’d also like to add — anyone who was at the game vs the Steelers last Monday could make a big deal about all the yellow obnoxiousness that was there. Maybe I’m just a sensitive fan, but in my opinion, it effing blew.

  11. Kori

    November 10, 2008 at 3:45 PM

    @Chris – I shall try my best. And if the ticket holders next to us have sold their tickets for the second home game in a row to fans of the other team, I might strangle myself with my precious new towel.

  12. Chris Mottram

    November 10, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    Just go into Sunday night anticipating an awful game day experience and that way what you get will be on par with your expectations.

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