This much we know — we think: Shaun Alexander will be in the backfield for the Redskins Sunday night against the Cowboys. Who will be joining him is a mystery. Let’s break down the current situation as we understand it, back-by-back:
Clinton Portis: Jim Zorn’s quote about CP yesterday — “I was hoping today that there would be a little more optimism, and there’s not” — has been interpreted by the AP to mean he’s “unlikely” to play. However, Zorn still says today that Portis is 50/50.
Shaun Alexander: Healthy, but unfortunately, still a bitch.
Ladell Betts: Claims he is playing, which is fantastic news (see: Shaun Alexander).
Rock Cartwright: Still relegated to special teams and emergency RB detail despite being the total opposite of Shaun Alexander. Seriously, how the fuck did Alexander leapfrog Rock on the depth chart when he was signed?
So, to review: If Clinton plays, he’ll be limited to probably 10 carries and share duties with Bitch Boy and Ladell. If CP is out, then Ladell gets the start and hands some of the load off to Bitch Boy. Unless Ladell actually doesn’t play, in which case Bitch Boy gets the start with Rock as the backup. Crystal clear, right?
Furthermore, there is probably an 80% that you have some combo of CP, Betts and/or Alexander on your fantasy team, if not all three of them. If you’re one of these people, and you’re driving yourself crazy over who to start/sit, let me give you some sound advice: No one gives a shit. We’re playing Dallas. If you bring up your fantasy team one more time between now and Monday morning, I will have The Mayor visit your house with a brick.
Yes, that entire last paragraph was me talking to myself.