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Pittsburgh Is for Whores

Redskins-Steelers Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a season-opening 38-16 loss to Pittsburgh at home on Monday Night Football …

Winners

Matthew McCounaghey — The burgundy-and-gold suit was a nice touch.

Jordan Reed — Impressive on the first drive, at least.

DeSean Jackson — Six catches for 102 yards. Reinforced the opinion that he’s in for a big year.

Chris Thompson — Scored a TD on the day his brother got out of prison.

Sean McDonough — Liked him in his MNF debut, especially when he asked Jon Gruden, “Do you want to blast your brother?” for punting on 4th-and-1 from the Pittsburgh 40.

Arthur Moats — Started at LB for Pittsburgh. Go Dukes!

Screen Shot 2016-09-12 at 10.06.37 PM

Losers

Kirk Cousins — So that was terrible. Inaccurate out of the gate, he had one bad INT dropped and another bad INT caught. Rushed throws and failed to scramble — or even move, really — all night. Clear regression from the second half of last year. Showed why you don’t hand out a huge contract based on a 10-game stretch.

Jay Gruden — Chose to kick and punt on two 4th-and-short situations in Pittsburgh territory in the first half. Resulted in three points. Mike Tomlin went for it twice on 4th-and-1 in Washington territory. Resulted in 14 points.

Bashaud Breeland — Had the near-impossible assignment of matching up with Antonio Brown most of the night, one-on-one in many cases, and was burnt for two TDs. Better gear up for more WR1s down the line.

Matt Jones — Seven carries for 24 yards. (Didn’t fumble or get hurt, though.)

Jamison Crowder — Fair caught with no one in his area code. Fumbled after making a first down (Pierre Garcon recovered).

Trent Williams — Penalized twice. That should be his season total.

Greg Toler — Looked real bad in coverage on a 42-yard catch by Sammie Coates.

The defense in general — No pass rush. Couldn’t stop the run. Couldn’t get off the field. May be a long season.

D.C.-area Dancing With the Stars fansSorry, y’all.

Medium

Antonio Brown — Penalized for twerking. Is so, so good.

Josh NormanGot into a shouting match with a teammate, and it was downhill from there. Didn’t play bad, and nearly made a couple big plays, but he was on the other side of the field from Brown most of the night. Bummer.

Ryan Kerrigan — Strip-sacked Big Ben and then got stripped himself. Better luck next time.

D.C. sports fan and digital media guy that's been doing this since 2004. Once threw a football further than Chris Cooley.

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Sisson

    September 12, 2016 at 10:17 PM

    Infinite sadness

  2. SiPhi

    September 12, 2016 at 10:31 PM

    Fucking fuck. More pissed about the non pick that didn’t get reviewed and may cost me a fantasy game. 9-7 at best, down from my original 11-5 prediction

  3. Sportz Assasson

    September 12, 2016 at 11:31 PM

    I hoped for better but expected this. Still haven’t beaten Pittsburgh since that magical 1991 team that just keeps getting further in the rear view mirror (I was an f’n junior in high school and thought the Redskins would always be good).

    Still haven’t beaten a good team since … uh … when? This just looked like an exact rewind of the Packers playoff game. This defense looks as if will be torched all year (got Carolina, Arizona, Green Bay, Cincinnati and Detroit as well as Eli twice).

  4. Sportz Assassin

    September 12, 2016 at 11:47 PM

    By the way: Redskins have now lost 15 of 16 home games on Monday Night. Unreal.

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