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Redskins-Raiders Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This time a 27-14 win over Oakland.


Robert Griffin III. Didn’t make any spectacular plays, but didn’t make any big mistakes either (well, aside from the intentional grounding in the redzone). His movement looked better, especially on the scramble then pass to Helu which led to the final TD. “Efficient” is the Football Term for his performance, I believe.

Roy Helu, Jr. Made the play of the game hurdling a defender on a 28-yard catch and run, then capped it off with the clinching touchdown run.

Brian Orakpo. Had two sacks, a tackle for loss, a near interception and generally looked like the beast we’d been expecting.

Ryan Kerrigan. Two sacks of his own, a forced fumble and generally looked like the beast we’ve seen all season.

David Amerson. His pick-six was probably my second happiest moment of the season to that point.

Pierre Garcon. Led the team in receiving, per usual, and made a tough touchdown catch over the middle.

John Potter. Kicked all of the balls that he was asked to kick right through the yellow poles.

The Shanahans. Got their first win! And Kyle called a balanced game that was almost exactly even in the run-pass ratio.

The NFC East. No, the division is not a winner; the division is terrible. But that’s good for the Skins who, if the Cowboys lose to Denver on Sunday, will be playing Dallas for FIRST PLACE in two weeks.


This Stupid Idiot. Put some clothes on. You look ridiculous.

Dick Stockton and Ronde Barber. My god. At one point I decided I’d start making a note every time Barber said something that could not be readily ascertained by the layperson viewing the game. My tally was zero. Zero times he did that. And Stockton called Orakpo “Orapko”; also said of the uncatchable pass call that it is “a rule that still exists.” You two are the worst, please stop talking over our games.

London Fletcher. Had at least two egregious missed tackles that led to big plays, looks old and slow and I’m so sorry for typing that.

Perry Riley. Made some plays on defense, but not enough to overcome that completely blown block on the blocked punt.

Logan Paulsen. After half the Raiders took a go at stripping the ball from, one finally got it loose.

Brandon Merriweather. Under “skills” on his resume he lists “giving, like, everybody concussions, including myself” and “being just straight up bulldozed over by every ball carrier I encounter.”


Alfred Morris. Rushed for 71 in less than three quarters at 4.4 per carry. Hurt his ribs, but apparently didn’t break anything.

Fred Davis. Hey man, I saw you on the field on that one play! Attaboy.

Sav Rocca. Seven punts for a 40 yard average with two inside the 20. He also had one blocked for a touchdown, which wasn’t really his fault at all but no one said Winners & Losers was fair.

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.



  1. A Fine Messi

    September 30, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    I’d put Coffield in the Winners section as well. if that’s how he plays when he has two working hands, imagine if he had THREE of them!

  2. art monk

    September 30, 2013 at 10:35 AM

    Naya Rivera (“This Stupid Idiot”)is a winner for best impersonation of a stereotypical Raider fan. And she is hot.

  3. Eric

    September 30, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    We are 0-4 this season in coin flips.

  4. Drewtabaga

    September 30, 2013 at 11:02 AM

    At one point the camera panned over the black hole and one of the insane-looking fans was taking a selfie with an ipad. Dressing like a fool is crazy enough, but bringing an ipad to a football game?

  5. ThisGuy

    September 30, 2013 at 11:11 AM


    Us, maybe, for thinking Danny Smith was the problem. Maybe he was actually the guy with his finger in the dam, so to speak. Special teams are horrible, except for Kai Forbath, who of course is injured.

  6. Snyder's Bitch

    September 30, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    I think the score was 24-14…

  7. burgertime

    September 30, 2013 at 12:10 PM

    losers: early bye week.
    winners: our entire defense. giving up only one touchdown and 7 sacks is what a competent defense should do to a team like oakland. holding my breath that that unit is turning a corner.

  8. Random Username

    September 30, 2013 at 12:27 PM

    I agree with art monk, Naya Rivera should be in the winners

  9. ColtBrennansGhost

    September 30, 2013 at 1:06 PM

    Medium- Redskins Fans. With a win, we avoid MASS DC SPORTS HYSTERIA and Chad Dukes screaming for 6 hours.

    But, with a win (and the division looking like hot stinky garbage), we have to listen to fans being all like “WE”RE BACK IN THIS THING HTTTTTTRRRR !!!1!!”

    Sigh, we can’t win.

  10. Derpley

    September 30, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    Naya Rivera (idiot with no clothes) should at worst be in the “MEDIUM” section after being shown uttering “F**K YEAH!” in slow motion at least 50 times during the broadcast. Even Kevin Garnett was impressed at that.

  11. skinsaneasylum

    September 30, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    Winners: Don’t know how you can leave Barry Cofield off this list with two sacks of his own and a fumble recovery. Also, DHall shut down the WRs all day long. He has been our most consistent player in the secondary thus far.

    Disagree with London as a loser. Has two bad missed tackles but still lead the team in tackles on the day and made some nice plays in the running game and short yardage. I’d say he was medium. Same with Merriweather who laid some nice hits and stopped them on 3rd and short with a great immediate tackle on the play.

  12. d$

    September 30, 2013 at 4:46 PM

    We’re approaching — not quite at — that awkward point where London wants to keep his streak alive, but it makes no sense playing him.

  13. They call me Fitz

    September 30, 2013 at 8:57 PM

    Winners – Cofield.
    I always rewatch the games to break down big plays or missed assignments. Cofield consistently got pressure making things easier for Rak & Kerrigan on the sides. Doesn’t get enough recognition in my (and others) opinion.

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