Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 20-6 miseryfest against the Giants.
Sav Rocca — Recovered from a terrible first punt to hit a couple of good ones, then recovered from certain disaster on a mishandled snap in his own endzone to get the ball away.
Keith Burns — Made it through the entire season, which seemed unlikely at times. (Look, this was the end of a horrific season that’s going to see everyone fired. The bar for “Winner” is low.)
Kai Forbath — Made both his field goals, including a 49 yarder to end the first half, and scored all the Redskins’ points. Did not hideously embarrass himself. (Again, low bar.)
London Fletcher — Tipped a Curtis Painter pass in the end zone into the waiting arms of Reed Doughty. That’s reason enough to put him into the Winners column one last time. So long, LFB. Sorry it couldn’t end better.
Pierre Garcon — At times appeared to be the only competent offensive player wearing a burgundy helmet. It was just 6 catches, 56 yards, but on a day like today it looked good.
Chris Cooley — After a genuinely impressive first season in the radio booth (as ably chronicled by Steinz), Cooley called this one accurately as well: “This is quickly becoming the worst football game I’ve ever watched.”
Robert Griffin III — Didn’t have to play in this clownshow. Gets to put the worst year of his football life behind him and come back (presumably) healthy next year, with (presumably) a new coaching staff and (hopefully) some new supporting castmembers. And without any kind of a QB controversy, thanks to three sub-mediocre starts for Kirk Cousins.
Rex Grossman — Managed to add a new category to The Dark Knight axiom about “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” as he hung around long enough to become the “Hey, why not put this guy in the game!” backup again.
Chris Baker — I mean, I dunno. He seemed to tackle a lot of people. He knocked Eli out of the game. Got called for a horsecollar tackle penalty that seemed bogus but honestly, who cared by that point.
Josh Wilson — Looked terrible in coverage, but somehow managed to be on the business end of two takeaways. Left the game with a calf injury and just had to watch the second half, which is probably an argument for putting him the Winners column.
All of us — For continuing to care, at all. There were things I could’ve done with my life instead of watching this Redskins season. I could’ve played with my kids more. I could’ve gotten better at Rainbow Loom, or brushed up on some cooking techniques. Hell, I could’ve sat around reading old Marvel comics and drinking grape soda and it STILL would’ve been a better use of my time than this was.
Washington Redskins — Secured the second overall pick in the draft, which will be going to St. Louis. Also, lost, making them “losers” by any definition.
St. Louis Rams — NO FIRST OVERALL PICK FOR YOU GUYS. SO THERE.
The Redskins Media Corps — Had to sit in the rain and cold and pretend to care about the game while knowing that the real story — and, likely, a few 22 hour workdays — would be coming only after it ended.
Nick Williams — Inherent scrappiness unable to overcome lack of football ability.
Kirk Cousins — Terrible day: 19-of-49 for 169 yards with 2 interceptions and a fumble lost. To make matters worse, as his trade value dwindles the likelihood of another year (or more) stuck as backup in D.C. increases. This is not how Kirk Cousins thought his career was supposed to go.
Josh LeRibeus — Made it through the entire season inactive, which is … not good for a thrird-round pick at what would seem like a position of need. Actually, the big loser here isn’t LeRibeus, but the people who drafted him and the fans who have to sit around and think about all the other ways that pick could’ve been used.
Jose Gumbs — Honestly, singling people out feels sort of ridiculous at this point, doesn’t it? He did some more dumb crap, drew a terrible penalty, and generally didn’t play well. Frankly, he fit right in.
Image via @recordsANDradio.