Connect with us

Infinite Sadness

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 20-6 miseryfest against the Giants.


Sav Rocca — Recovered from a terrible first punt to hit a couple of good ones, then recovered from certain disaster on a mishandled snap in his own endzone to get the ball away.

Keith Burns — Made it through the entire season, which seemed unlikely at times. (Look, this was the end of a horrific season that’s going to see everyone fired. The bar for “Winner” is low.)

Kai Forbath — Made both his field goals, including a 49 yarder to end the first half, and scored all the Redskins’ points. Did not hideously embarrass himself. (Again, low bar.)

London Fletcher — Tipped a Curtis Painter pass in the end zone into the waiting arms of Reed Doughty. That’s reason enough to put him into the Winners column one last time. So long, LFB. Sorry it couldn’t end better.

Pierre Garcon — At times appeared to be the only competent offensive player wearing a burgundy helmet. It was just 6 catches, 56 yards, but on a day like today it looked good.

Chris Cooley — After a genuinely impressive first season in the radio booth (as ably chronicled by Steinz), Cooley called this one accurately as well: “This is quickly becoming the worst football game I’ve ever watched.”

Robert Griffin III — Didn’t have to play in this clownshow. Gets to put the worst year of his football life behind him and come back (presumably) healthy next year, with (presumably) a new coaching staff and (hopefully) some new supporting castmembers. And without any kind of a QB controversy, thanks to three sub-mediocre starts for Kirk Cousins.

Rex Grossman — Managed to add a new category to The Dark Knight axiom about “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” as he hung around long enough to become the “Hey, why not put this guy in the game!” backup again.

Chris Baker — I mean, I dunno. He seemed to tackle a lot of people. He knocked Eli out of the game. Got called for a horsecollar tackle penalty that seemed bogus but honestly, who cared by that point.


Josh Wilson — Looked terrible in coverage, but somehow managed to be on the business end of two takeaways. Left the game with a calf injury and just had to watch the second half, which is probably an argument for putting him the Winners column.


All of us — For continuing to care, at all. There were things I could’ve done with my life instead of watching this Redskins season. I could’ve played with my kids more. I could’ve gotten better at Rainbow Loom, or brushed up on some cooking techniques. Hell, I could’ve sat around reading old Marvel comics and drinking grape soda and it STILL would’ve been a better use of my time than this was.

Washington Redskins — Secured the second overall pick in the draft, which will be going to St. Louis. Also, lost, making them “losers” by any definition.


The Redskins Media Corps — Had to sit in the rain and cold and pretend to care about the game while knowing that the real story — and, likely, a few 22 hour workdays — would be coming only after it ended.

Nick Williams — Inherent scrappiness unable to overcome lack of football ability.

Kirk Cousins —  Terrible day: 19-of-49 for 169 yards with 2 interceptions and a fumble lost. To make matters worse, as his trade value dwindles the likelihood of another year (or more) stuck as backup in D.C. increases. This is not how Kirk Cousins thought his career was supposed to go.

Josh LeRibeus — Made it through the entire season inactive, which is … not good for a thrird-round pick at what would seem like a position of need. Actually, the big loser here isn’t LeRibeus, but the people who drafted him and the fans who have to sit around and think about all the other ways that pick could’ve been used.

Jose Gumbs — Honestly, singling people out feels sort of ridiculous at this point, doesn’t it? He did some more dumb crap, drew a terrible penalty, and generally didn’t play well. Frankly, he fit right in.

Image via @recordsANDradio.



  1. Ketel on Rocks

    December 29, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    The only question left is where does this season rank?

    In the Snyder era, I contend Zorn’s final “swinging gate” year was the worst team fielded, but this one feels more depressing.

  2. Josh

    December 29, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    Matt, if it makes you feel any better, my friends and I blew way too much money renting your dad’s season tickets for this abomination of a season.

  3. ThisGuy

    December 29, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    Relative to expectations, and backloaded by a preceding decade of melodramatic misery suggesting indefinite continuation, I wonder if there has ever been a worse season in the history of professional sports. Seriously.

  4. Derpley

    December 29, 2013 at 11:39 PM

    For sheer dysfunction, nothing for me will ever top the Jim Zorn-Sherm Lewis disaster of a season. This season isn’t far behind though, if only because Shanny went scorched earth once he started to run a counterintelligence/smear campaign against his own players and coaching staff. That last Zorn season was as hopeless as it gets. At least we still have RGIII breathing without an iron lung and without bionic extremities (yet!). And we have cap room and we have an imminent fresh start. Change can only be good with this zoo of an organization (right? …)

    Why do we care? Honestly, I’ve asked myself this a thousand times. The Skins are the dysfunctional relative who you should have given up on 8 chances ago, but still can’t bring yourself to estrange yourself from. Maybe we’re all suckers, but really, at this point, I just want to be proven wrong that this team is completely rudderless as an organization. I have pretty much conceded forever that DanSny’s gonna DanSny. He is the common denominator going on almost a generation of suck now. Our only hope, honestly, is to win in spite of him. Whoever comes in as the next coach has got to know that, even if they’re shamelessly cashing in to the tune of $10 mill a year. This was a lost season by any stretch, the fact that it also cost us a 2nd pick overall and theatrics that it all came with … well, if you didn’t see it coming, you haven’t been paying close attention for 20+ years with this team. In the words of the great Morpheus: “What happened happened and couldn’t have happened any other way.”

  5. Sportz Assassin

    December 30, 2013 at 8:56 PM

    I agree that the final Zorn season was worse than this. This sucked, but I had the feeling of “well, RG3 wasn’t truly healthy, we had that bogus cap penalty that kept us doing anything to improve our team and we at least have a few guys that are worth keeping”. That Zorn season I felt none of that. It felt like pulling teeth. There was the Haynesworth debacle. We tried to trade Campbell to Denver for Cutler and missed … basically undermining Campbell. Portis missed half the season and the entire season felt like this last month or so went this season.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Infinite Sadness