Predicting The Redskins’ Record Now That Their 2017 Schedule Is Out

Here’s the slate, courtesy of your Washington Redskins:

And here are my predictions, based on a few assumptions:

A) Kirk Cousins isn’t traded and returns as the quarterback.

B) The draft, like free agency before it, goes reasonably well.

C) Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen don’t go and get any big ideas.

Admittedly, these are large assumptions. On with the show:

Week 1 — Philadelphia

The Skins beat them twice last year, and this one’s at home, though I can’t properly convey how much a home opener against Philly scares me. Win. 1-0.

Week 2 — at the Rams

LA won four games last year and had -160 net points. They also hired Sean McVay, whose claim to fame is being super-young and a pretty good No. 2 to the legendary Jay Gruden. Win. 2-0.

Week 3 — Raiders

Sunday Night Football. Loss. 2-1.

Week 4 — at Kansas City

Monday Night Football. Loss. 2-2.

Week 5 — bye

Week 6 — 49ers

The Shanahans can stick it. Win. 3-2.

Week 7 — at Philly

This year feels like a split. Loss. 3-3.

Week 8 — Dallas

The Cowboys swept last year, and there’s no reason to think they’re any worse (or the Skins are any better) this year. Loss. 3-4.

Week 9 — at Seattle

“At Seattle” gives me nightmares. Loss. 3-5.

Week 10 — Minnesota

Win. 4-5.

Week 11 — at New Orleans

This is probably the most desirable game for a Mr. I road trip. Win. 5-5.

Week 12 — Giants

Thanksgiving night. I like a split with NY. Win. 6-5.

Week 13 — at Dallas

Thursday Night Football. Probably the toughest game on the sked. Loss. 6-6.

Week 14 — at the Chargers

Two LA games in one year. How exciting. Win. 7-6.

Week 15 — Cardinals

If this was in Arizona, I’d go the other way. Win. 8-6.

Week 16 — Broncos

If this was in Denver, I’d go the other way. Win. 9-6.

Week 17 — at the Giants

Win and they’re in. Loss. 9-7.

Sounds about right, doesn’t it?