Urlacher Tit Grab Girl Is on ‘Rock of Love’

If you don’t watch VH1’s “Rock of Love,” then you totally need to start. Think “Flavor of Love,” but with Bret Michaels. A bunch of idiots with a bunch of booze, ill-fitting clothes, stipper poles, and swimming pools. It’s truly fantastic.

Anyway, I have made an amazing connection: The girl in the world-famous Brian Urlacher photo is indeed Erin from “Rock of Love.” Observe:

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The last time I was this certain about something, I turned out to be wrong, but this time I’m sure I’m right. Further evidence: Erin was Miss Hooters of Illinois 2002.

God bless this show. First they create a porn star, and now it comes to light that they have on the girl that Brian Urlacher sexually molested. Tremendous casting, VH1.

Update: Welcome, Extra Mustard users. Enjoy your stay as we, the brothers Mottram, hope you like what you see … and that our language wasn’t too “strong” for you.

Tony Stewart Fined $25,000 for ‘Bullshit’

I know you watch NASCAR, and I know you love it because you’re a god damn red-blooded American, but for all our Canadian fans, check out Tony Stewart’s post-race interview at Indy on Sunday:

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That “expletive” done cost No. 20 a cool $25,000 and 25 points in the Chase (which pretty much means nothing to me). It also cost team owner Joe Gibbs 25 points (which definitely means nothing to me). But was the “bullshit” on purpose?

You can see in the video how Stewart seems to realize what he’s just done on live TV and laughs about it. Two weeks prior, he was pissed off at ESPN — who broadcasted the race at Indy on Sunday — for criticizing him after he said he was going to celebrate a win by drinking an entire case of Schlitz.

“I don’t want anybody from ESPN talking about how irresponsible I am, even though it’s legal to do everything I did. Heaven forbid you actually have fun in life.”

Right on, my man. Granted, ESPN is the moral authority in this country, but I still believe drinking a case down to the cardboard is the best way to celebrate just about anything … win or lose.

William Shatner + Tom Kelly = Orioles Manager Dave Trembley

Shatner Is TrembleyI’d never heard of Dave Trembley until the day he became Baltimore’s interim manager. He was and is a no-name, a no-name who’s gone 20-15 during his first 35 games on the job, 40% better than Sam Perlozzo did with the same sorry lot before he got canned.

It’s with this modest emergence that folks are taking notice. One is Bugs and Cranks, who shows the uncanny resemblance between Manager Trembley and Captain Kirk, and another is SI’s Tom Verducci, who compares Trembley to Tom Kelly, a man that also got his start as an interim manager for Andy MacPhail. That was 21 years ago, and Kelly impressed enough to get the full-time gig before winning two World Series in Minnesota.

Shooting a hole in all this flattery is that, well, Shatner hasn’t aged well, and Perlozzo himself went 9-4 immediately after replacing Lee Mazzilli during the nightmare season of 2005. So let’s hold off on patting the new guy on the ass for just a bit, but rejoice in the Black & Orange playing over .500, even if it is only for a month and a half.

Update: Hours after this post was made, MacPhail removed Trembley’s interim tag, and Baltimore beat Boston (BUH-DARD!).

Jason Campbell’s NFL.com TV Spot

Another reason, aside from the return of vertical passing, to be thankful for the demise of Mark Brunell: JC-17 commercials! First was his Eastern’s ad, and now this one for NFL.com fantasy football, which comes very highly recommended (Hogs Haven via FanHouse).

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What is his fantasy value, you ask? He’s a solid No. 2 who’ll throw for over 3,000 yards, 20 TD and 10 INT and run not at all. I love round numbers.

And, yes, we desperately need to figure out how to post video around here.

That Fitted Is Hot, Son: C-Notes Edition

Because of the overwhelming demand for me to continue “That Fitted Is Hot, Son” (and by “overwhelming,” I mean one person said to keep it going, which is enough), I’ve decided to bring some more of the freshest lids you can purchase if you wanna look absolutely ridiculous. The theme this week: I’m effing rich, just look at my fitted, bama.

First up is a line of 5950’s called “Lucky Charm” fitteds, which the site describes has having a “bling team logo on front in gold with siver nodes.” Nodes are tight. Having a fake gold chain on the top of your head is tighter:

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Second this week is a hat called “Showmeda$” (I can’t make this shit up). For just $36 you can buy one of these hats that have like eight “c-notes” on it. $764 profit is hot, son:

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But wait, there’s more. This feature now has it’s own theme song. Peep “Roc Yo Fitted Hat (remix)” by the Do Work Boyz (okay, I made up that group name).

Cal Gets Emo, Performs Magic

At the risk of being blasphemous, I wasn’t a big fan of Cal’s induction speech yesterday. It was just a little too preachy for my taste. I could’ve gone for a little more about his career, and a little less about the importance of helping kids develop. I don’t care about kids, I care about Cal.

Because I am human and have half a heart, I did enjoy the bit about his family, probably because the Iron Man’s armor cracked a little and he showed some real emotion (although he maintained his composure a bit better than this lunatic). He also pulls off a super cool cheesy rose transfer maneuver.

This is the only video I could find of said portion of the speech, although the bit about his father is cut off (and I apologize for the 20-second ad at the beginning):

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KG’s ‘Tears of Pain’ Heading to Boston

garnett-russell.jpgThe Eastern Conference may have a new contender as it seems Kevin Garnett has been dealt to the C’s for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff and a No. 1 pick. That’s quite a package, one that mortgages Boston’s future in exchange for a short-lived shot at glory with KG, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

Thinking of Garnett’s tearful interview with John Thompson from two years ago as well as his frustrations as an MVP-caliber player locked out of the playoffs for three straight seasons, I’m hoping he has better fortune in Beantown, as long as it doesn’t come at the expense of Washington.

Like every big story in today’s sporting society, FanHouse is all over this one and has quite a roundtable brewing over email. Witness:

Update: The roundtable is up — “Rejoice, you fools!” — and the deal appears done.

Duke Fans Are Terrible Rappers

Peter Rosenberg, who famously posted the YouTube music video ‘This Is Why Duke Sucks’ (and, more recently, ‘Bowlin’) has nothing to worry about. His spot in the ACC hoops MC game is safe and secure, despite this great find by The Dude Abides: a battle-rap response from the dorks at Duke.

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What’s that saying? When folks find themselves in a hole they can either keep digging or just climb the hell out? That sound you hear is Krzyzewskiville grabbing the shovel.

Photographic Evidence That the Orioles Used to Be Really Good

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These six HOFer are the primary reason why the O’s had only three losing seasons and played in six World Series between 1960 and ’85. Total studs, each and every one. Too bad I didn’t consciously follow the team until ’86, because from then till now Baltimore has only had five winning seasons and never made it to the Series.

We may not post about Earl Weaver again until the day he dies — and the 76 year-old looks like a million bucks — so this is an opportunity to link to Earl going off on Manager’s Corner and expertly working over an ump. Both YouTubes are highly recommended.

Note: Photo courtesy of Jonathon Newton at the Washington Post. It originally ran alongside this morning’s Thomas Boswell column, which was even sappier than my Ripken post from yesterday.

Redskins Report: The Year of Sellers?

sellers.gifTraining camp has begun, which means the Washington Post dedicates two pages per day to the Skins. That would be overkill, except a hefty bit of said real estate goes to Bog Man Dan Steinberg and the uncovering of gems like the New Hair Report.

The star of this piece is fan favorite Mike Sellers, our starting H-Back who’s now 12 pounds lighter with three new tattoos and a two-tone beard (follow the link for a pic). So, really, in some ways, 2007 is already the year of Sellers and we needn’t go any further.

Fortunately, there’s more. He’s got a new nickname — “T-Pain” — to go along with his old nickname — “Dat Boy” — and is poised for a breakout campaign, or at least as much of a breakout campaign as an offensive player who hardly touches the ball can have. Superfan Jack Kogod stumped for Sellers Pro Bowl candidacy last season on the strength of his blocking ability, and Pro Football Prospectus says, “Sellers might be the most underrated player in Joe Gibbs’s offense.”

So, yeah, it may be July, but I’m prepared for a small measure of some football, especially after watching that animated gif of Sellers plowing through Correll Buckhalter (courtesy of Extreme Skins) about a dozen times.