The Orioles are in the process of losing the final game of their opening series against the Yankees. It’s 9-2 in the seventh, but had it not been for this asshole, it would be 7-2, which is closer than 9-2, or so I’ve been told:
Several replays showed that the ball was headed directly for Markakis’ mitt. But it wasn’t to be because of the dickhead in the yellow shirt, who may or may not be a Yankees fan. We’ll never know because, well, he wore a yellow fucking polo shirt to an O’s-Yankees game. Nowhere in those teams’ colors will you find canary. Enjoy that free souvenir you got to go along with the free ticket your buddy gave you for the bleacher seats to a game you otherwise never would’ve gone to because you don’t give a fuck about baseball. Shithead.
As for you, Markickass: We know you had that one, baby. Don’t fret. Those two runs didn’t matter anyway. Although, sure, you wanted to be on Web Gems tonight. We know, we know. But you’ll be there plenty throughout the summer. Mkay? Smooches.