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No, I’m Fairly Certain God Actually Hates Us and the Redskins

From loyal reader Adam Bechtold, whose brother apparently played Little League with Jamie [/cool story], comes this sign outside of Pender Methodist Church in Fairfax:

godlovesredskins.jpg

Religion isn’t really “my thing,” but is this what they mean by “the lord works in mysterious ways”? Because the church says God loves the Redskins, and he’s all knowing and powerful and all … yet the team is having its worst season since 1961. Huh. Kinda strange. If He loves both the Redskins and us, wouldn’t it stand to reason that he WOULDN’T PUT US THROUGH THIS TORTUROUS HELL WE LOST TO THE FUCKING LIONS GOD!?

I question the validity of your sign, Pender Methodist Church, and bid you a good day.

I said, GOOD DAY SIRS.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here searching for the passage in the Bible in which God commands thou shalt not run a pass play for more than three yards lest thee be overcometh with greed and the lust to penetrate the goal line thus soiling its virginity. The endzone is the devil’s playground!

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. diggs

    November 13, 2009 at 4:48 PM

    Christians in the earlier days lost to lions as well, no?

  2. Jamie Mottram

    November 13, 2009 at 4:58 PM

    Wonder if http://penderumc.org/ will link back to us.

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