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Musings of a Drunk Redskins Fan

Here with a guest post for correctly predicting that the Redskins would destroy Jacksonville (those were the days!) is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi, who may have been overserved.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 10.21.39 PM

As I sit here, drunk and finally committing to writing this blog post, there are 1:18 seconds remaining in the 3rd quarter [of last week’s Thursday night loss to New York]. Kirk Cousins just threw his 3rd fucking interception, which is something I will return to later on.

First, background on myself (because I know you Mr. I readers give so many shits about some asshole that guessed somewhat close to the final score). I was born in 1990, so I am a later generation Skins fan. My parents probably thought they were bringing me into the best possible situation for football fandom when the Skins won the Superbowl after the ’91 season, but instead I have been subjected to the Maylaysian Airlines of football teams.

I consider about 10-11 to be the age when you know enough stuff about football and sports to fully commit yourself to a team. For me that means the Steve Spurrier era, the era of fantastic soundbites and horrendous football. So to me that means Skins football before 2001 is not something I truly remember. This means I have spent my entire Skins fandom in the era of Infinite fucking Sadness.

Since 2001 the Redskins have had 3 playoff appearances, 2 as a wildcard. ONE division title since I began living and dying with the Redskins. I was utterly enthralled every time we have managed to sputter to an 8-8 or better record. I was a Jason Campbell fan. I was a Trung Candidate fan. I have cried many times watching Sean Taylor highlight videos. I have endured through nothing but shit football.

I may have masochistic tendencies, because there is no other explanation as to how someone can endure year after year of painful football yet remain a diehard fan that leans optimistic. Somehow this team that plays the role of a succubus year after year has me as excited as Christmas day before the season starts.

This leads us to 2012. As my friends will attest, the day the Skins made the trade for the 2nd overall pick I was ecstatic. I knew it meant we were getting Robert Griffin the Third, someone I had been fawning over for 2 years. I had even more hope than usual, even if some people thought his game wouldn’t translate. He managed to exceed even my expectations and deliver the first division title since 1999.

The 2012 season was the best season I have ever seen for Redskins football, and Griff was the maestro doing things that have never been done before. A rookie coming out and exceeding all qb play I had ever seen. This is why I will always have his back, through thick and thin, until he is no longer on the team.

Other Skins fans however do not seem to feel this way. They clamor for Kirk Cousins as if he is the greatest qb ever. They blame Griffin for the 2013 season. They say he didn’t win games. When I judge QBs it is typically by stats, not wins and losses, because football is a team game. These “fans” turned their backs on someone who brought the most joy (as Chris pointed out in regards to the 2012 season finale) to Redskins fans since the 91 Super Bowl. If you present them with stats, they say he didn’t win games last year. If you present them with the fact that Cousins has only 1 win in games he’s started, they say the team gave up in 2013. This utterly disregards that the last 3 games Griffin started last year they also had nothing to play for. The Skins played the Giants twice in December last year. Griffin had a 101 qb rating and kept the Skins in the game the whole time, whereas Cousins threw 2 picks 0 tds and the team lost 20-6. Did the team really give up so much from December 1st at 3-8 to when they played again at 3-12? No.

How about this stat, Cousins is now 0-4 in starts against NFC East opponents. Griffin is 4-2. Both of them are above average QBs in the NFL, but Griffin has that something special. I will stick by Kirk and root for him as long as he is in, but I am truly sick of Skins fans hating on someone that has produced the best Redskins season in 24 years. People talk shit about Griffin for reasons beyond his control. I mean people were hating on him because Gatorade put him on a bottle this year. DO YOU THINK HE FUCKING RUNS THE GATORADE MARKETING DIVISION????

All of this being said, I still have faith in the Skins for the future. I think that we have a solid, young offense. I think that we will eventually fix our horrendous special teams and our defense will improve. I have endured the worst possible stretch of Skins football and will remain a fan until the end. I will make one bold prediction here, and that is that the Skins will win the Superbowl within the next 5 years with Griffin at the helm. Feel free to criticize my opinions (which are kind of drunken rambling at this point) but know that I will use statistics to justify any of my arguments.

That’s it. Also allow me to apologize for going Peter King/Bill Simmons on everyone and writing a book for my first blog post. I plan on contributing more coherent and enjoyable posts to Mr. I in the future if the Brothers Mottram allow it. The bottom line is if you’re reading this, then you are a diehard Washington Sports fan similar to me. We all want to see these teams succeed, it’s a bond that brings us all together. Let’s hope that we can get an MLB title this year and an NBA and NFL title in the next 2-3.

PS: Follow me on twitter at @__SiPhi__, and if you like electronic music

D.C. sports fan and digital media guy that's been doing this since 2004. Once threw a football further than Chris Cooley.



  1. SiPhi

    October 3, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    *Griffin is 6-4 against the NFC East. I messed up my arithmetic in the heat of the moment.

  2. Michael

    October 4, 2014 at 11:54 AM

    Kirk reminds me of a young joe flacco. He’s just a winner and you clearly can’t see that. You’re on the wrong qb train

  3. Tom

    October 4, 2014 at 1:42 PM

    That’s me in that picture. I wasn’t drunk. Just buzzed. Glad I can help though.

  4. Boo Rod Gardner

    October 4, 2014 at 9:13 PM

    Enjoyed reading this. We butted proverbial heads in an open thread, but I nodded my head while reading your drunken ramblings.

    • SiPhi

      October 7, 2014 at 1:26 PM

      Haha we’re all in this together.

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