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Mr. Irrelevant’s Annual D.C. Pro Sports Team Power Rankings

I’m not sure if this is actually an *annual* ranking of the five major D.C. pro sports teams, but it is a nice time of year to do such a thing.

5. Washington Redskins

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As Tom Boswell so kindly points out, the past two Redskins seasons were the franchise’s worst since 1961. Incredible.

But! Short of Dan Snyder selling the team, the best possible thing that could happen just happened: They finally hired a real GM. And a highly regarded one to boot!

Of course, he has a drinking problem, and this is the Redskins. Our enthusiasm is curbed by hopelessness.

4. D.C. United

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I don’t know if the United are closer to the top of the league or the bottom, nor do I care enough to Google it. In fact, I’m not even sure if the MLS season is happening right now. I’m certain, however, that they’re better off than the Redskins.

And I like how they identify with “D.C.” instead of “Washington” — nobody says Washington.

3. Washington Capitals

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After last year, it’s refreshing to see them with the sixth-most points in the East behind new guy Barry Trotz. They’ve been on fire lately, the Winter Classic was fun and Alex Ovechkin is the D.C. sports athlete of the century.

As good as things may be, though, does anyone think they have a shot at the Cup? They have the 13th-best odds of winning it all, which is to say it’s probably 2008-13 all over again.

2. Washington Wizards

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Last year, as a 44-win team in the playoffs for the first time in six years, they fell two victories shy of the conference finals. Now they’re on pace to win 57 games and have a legit chance at the NBA Finals. That sounds absurd, given the franchise’s history, but it wouldn’t be shocking.

John Wall and Bradley Beal make up a very young, already awesome backcourt. They’ve got an imposing and versatile frontcourt with Nena and Marcin Gortat. There are shooters on the wing in Paul Pierce, Rasual Butler and Martell Webster. And they have depth galore in Kris Humphries, Otto Porter, Prof. Andre Miller and an improved Kevin Seraphin.

They even play defense. These are not the Wizards we’ve known and loathed.

1. Washington Nationals

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D.C. is home to one of the youngest and perhaps the best team in baseball. What more could you ask for? Aside from, you know, postseason success.

(MLB graphic taken with love from SB Nation.)

D.C. sports fan and digital media guy that's been doing this since 2004. Once threw a football further than Chris Cooley.

13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Jim Ed

    January 16, 2015 at 10:15 AM

    Hmmm. #5 isn’t low enough for the Redskins. DC has a roller hockey team, team tennis, and an ultimate frisbee team that I think won the national championship. They need to behind those and any obscure hipster sports like Bocce as well.

    • Kuruption

      January 16, 2015 at 10:41 AM

      I think the Wiz should be #1. Nationals are talented but they are trending downwards, very much like the Capitals a few years back. Wiz are rising, and things are looking better and better around a Durant and Wiz connection.

      • Kuruption

        January 16, 2015 at 10:42 AM

        Plus they are the most fun team in DC to watch.

      • Bh2nq

        January 17, 2015 at 5:59 AM

        You forgot quidditch.

  2. ThisGuy

    January 16, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    “As good as things may be, though, does anyone think they have a shot at the Cup? ”

    Probably not this year, but Trotz has reopened the window that appeared to be closed, and the pieces in place that are hardest to find (elite scorer, 1D (Carlson), 2-way center (Backstrom) and goalie (Holtby)).

    In terms of closest to a championship, can’t argue with these rankings.

  3. deepvalue

    January 16, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    If there were a Mr. Irrelevant DMV-10 power ranking of pro and college teams my ballot would have Mason basketball and the Redskins eleventh and twelth respectively. Yeah, maybe lower.

  4. Mikeyvanilli

    January 16, 2015 at 1:06 PM

    Ha, I couldn’t agree with your DC United analysis more. Happy to root for them, if someone would just tell me when they played and what their deal was!
    I’d love to see a Mr. I poll of top 5 favorite players currently playing for one of these 5 teams… just sayin’.

    • Tim of the Tribe

      January 16, 2015 at 6:27 PM

      There season is March to October, and finished last year 1st place in the weaker Eastern Conference. The 2014 season was also the biggest turnaround in MLS history as United only won 3 games in 2013. Black and Red United on sbnation does a great job of covering the team if you’re interested. Plus new stadium will open in 2017!!

      • DemO'sHon

        January 16, 2015 at 8:02 PM

        Where will the new stadium be located?

        • Tim of the Tribe

          January 18, 2015 at 4:40 PM

          Buzzard Point, it’ll be a 10-15 minute walk from the Navy Yard metro station

          • DemO'sHon

            January 18, 2015 at 11:32 PM

            Thanks!

  5. DemO'sHon

    January 16, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    The Washington Kastles usually rake … I would bump the DC football team from the top 5 for the Kastles and give the football team a dishonorable mention

  6. Illformula

    January 17, 2015 at 9:35 PM

    Wizards >>>>>>> Nationals.

    For the same reasons Kuruption stated above and their composition doesn’t leave you wondering, “how will they manage to fuck this up?”

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