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Bob Carpenter

Introducing the Bob & Rob Drinking Game

This isn’t the place to debate the merits of MASN’s Nats broadcasting duo of Bob Carpenter and Rob Dibble. Just know that we don’t like them, nor do a lot of D.C. sports fans, nor does GQ, apparently.

Here’s the thing though: We do like the Nats, and MASN has the games, so we’ll keep watching. And if we can’t get Dibble fired, we can at least try to kick back and enjoy it.

With that, here’s the Bob & Rob Drinking Game, which, as you can see, was tested by our brother Beef, Da Meathook bobblehead and I last Friday night to the tune of 14 Amstel Lights in nine innings. Your mileage may vary.

Drink when …

Rob says “we,” “our” or “us.”
Bob cracks a corny joke.
Rob refers to his playing career.
Bob refers to the Cardinals.
Bob or Rob spouts a clich√© (e.g. “you have to be strong up the middle”).
Bob or Rob is just plain wrong (e.g. “Juan Pierre is an excellent player.”).
Bob or Rob uses one of the following nicknames: “Gentleman Zim, “The Goozer,” The Capper,” “The Hammer,” “The Body” or “Big Bad Dunn.”

Drink twice when …

Bob or Rob praises Ivan Rodriguez for intangibles such as leadership.
Rob complains about pitchers throwing too many offspeed pitches.
Bob or Rob complains about Adam Dunn taking too many pitches.
Rob is shown wearing bitchin’ transition eyeglass lenses.
Sideline reporter extraordinaire Debbie Taylor appears.
Debbie talks to you like you’re 2 years old.

Drink three times when …

Rob yells, grunts, claps and/or laughs maniacally.
Rob’s tattoos are visible on the broadcast.
Rob suggests the Nats throw at someone.
Rob complains about balls and strikes.
Rob complains about and/or mocks those who use the Internet.

Chug when …

Debbie asks a tough question. (Note: This will not occur.)
Bob says, “See. You. Later.” (Note: This means the Nats have hit a home run, and Rob is probably yelling as well, so just finish your drink.)

(Our thanks to those who contributed to the rules and regulations here, including Chris Needham and Dan Steinberg as well as numerous Mr. Irrelevant commenters and @MrIrrelevantDC followers.)

D.C. sports fan and digital media guy that's been doing this since 2004. Once threw a football further than Chris Cooley.

34 Comments

34 Comments

  1. grammar guy

    July 13, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    You mean e.g. (“exempli gratia”, meaning “for example”), not i.e. (“id est”, meaning “that is/in other words”).

  2. Jamie Mottram

    July 13, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Good catch. Fixed.

  3. KateKirk

    July 13, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    BWAHAHAHAHA I am so pleased to see the incompetent Debbie Taylor included in this. She’s so bad that she deserves a spot in the single drink category, though. I suggest that her appearance warrants one drink, wrinkling her nose at us and talking to us like 2 y.o. gets two and you chug for every mispronounced or bobbled word, which *will* happen more than her asking hard questions. Somehow this does not seem to matter for someone whose verbal delivery is the ESSENCE OF HER JOB. (as my husband says, if she’s going to suck so badly, couldn’t she at least be hot?)

  4. Hogs Haven

    July 13, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    This is a lot of rules to remember…even though they all do stand out emphatically. How about I just shotgun a beer every half-inning and call it a push?

    Doesn’t Dibble also say “Thatta boy!” a lot?

  5. Mac G

    July 13, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    I do not know how many drinks it deserves but they love to show Rizzo at least once or twice a game. Tony Larussa and Lou Pinella mentions are often as well but already kind of incorporated.

    I wish they would talk about how Guz swings at every pitch, Tyler Clippard’s arm is going to fall off, Morgan all around sucks and Mike Morse should be playing everyday. Oh Well.

    ps. #firedibble

  6. Prop Joe

    July 13, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    I don’t get the problem with them using “we,” “us,” or being homers in general. Maybe because I’m an avid College Football and Basketball fan and I’m used to our broadcasters and their homerism. Why is it such a big deal? And I don’t wanna hear the *GASP* “They are supposed to be impartial and unbaised!”

  7. Hogs Haven

    July 13, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    And agree with KateKirk…why doesn’t MASN just make Jen Royle the full-time field girl? At least she’s great to look at.

  8. Carl

    July 13, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    You forgot “Drink when Rob claims an umpire’s ball/strike call was wrong, but the pitch-track actually shows it was OK.” (I guess that falls under “just plain wrong,” if you want.)

  9. Kev29

    July 13, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    I got wasted just thinking about this

  10. Bo

    July 13, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    I have reviewed the rules and I think it would save time to point out when you don’t drink (which I think is pretty much only during commercials… commercials not involving Rob Dibble or Bob Carpenter).

  11. misschatter

    July 13, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    Love the drinking game. Bug Hogs Haven – Jen Royle? Seriously? Eeesh.

  12. misschatter

    July 13, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    err “But” heh.

  13. Hogs Haven

    July 13, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    @mischatter
    I’d take anyone over Debbie Reynolds. Too bad Bea Arthur passed away.

  14. Chris Sullivan

    July 13, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    This is so funny it hurts.

  15. Section 222

    July 13, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Great list of annoying Bob and Rob-isms. Probably should add — “The Zimmenator” to the list of approved nicknames. Also, Dibble slouching in his chair and/or licking his lips during their on camera appearances or making an un-insightful “color” comment like — “Zim waits on the breaking ball, hits it up the middle.” Wait, sorry, that’s about all he does when he’s not grunting, groaning, complaining about balls and strikes, or cheering.

  16. Section 222

    July 13, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    Oh, and one more thing, — Dibble making a reference to his playing days or a conversation with an ex-major league, with extra drinks if he mentions that he played in the ASG, NLCS, or World Series.

  17. DCDANNY

    July 13, 2010 at 5:14 PM

    I can’t believe I’m agreeing with the Sports Junkies, but they’re right about you guys.

    Section 222 is filled with gays.

  18. TJL

    July 13, 2010 at 5:41 PM

    It’s a shame the Ray and Johnny really deserve their own game for the pre and post shows. 1 drink for Silver Fox, 3 for videos of Ray Knight in uniform, etc

  19. basehitt

    July 14, 2010 at 8:39 AM

    and I thought that I was the only Nats fan who thought that this trio was annoying and substandard…

  20. Kev29

    July 14, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    When Dibble says “Smack’um Yack’um” – finish your beer.

  21. DCDANNY

    July 14, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    Section 222.. I apologize for what I said. I thought you were someone I know. Section 222 is a fine section!

  22. Jim Webster

    July 14, 2010 at 6:53 PM

    Thanks to everyone who reinforced my minimum regard for Debbie Taylor. I may throw up all that I’ve imbibed next time she asks someone, “How good was it to …” If MASN wasn’t so Oriole-centric, we might get Amber, who’s at least pleasant to see.

  23. dcsportsfan

    July 14, 2010 at 10:07 PM

    What about for when Debbie awkwardly refers to a player by their full name during interviews? (i.e- instead of “thanks Ryan,” Debbie opts to go with “thanks Ryan Zimmerman”)

  24. Greg

    July 19, 2010 at 10:16 PM

    Count how many times Bob says the batter got “jammed.” You’ll be amazed.

  25. Kevin

    August 15, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    Jamie Mottram, go suck a dick and get cancer, and aids, you fucking fag

  26. Susie

    August 15, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    You guys are sick.

  27. Anti-Kevin

    August 18, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    Kevin you need to just keep to your twelve step program and let us go ahead and play our drinking games.
    How about a new game? Every time Kevin blogs, we punch someone in anger.

  28. Chris from York PA

    August 18, 2010 at 9:28 PM

    My friend and I are playing the bob and rob drinking game, hating rob dibble, and we noticed as ryan zimmerman got tossed that there MUST be a new rule added to the 3 drink section: Rob innsistantly complains about any kind of bad call, decision, or outcome more than an inning after it happened.

  29. Chris from York PA

    August 18, 2010 at 9:38 PM

    PS rob dibble makes me want to hate my life and the game of baseball.

  30. Tim

    August 31, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    HAHAHA this is GREAT!!! HAHA

  31. Tim

    August 31, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    reading the first comment made me think of the movie Get Shorty HAHA

  32. On A MF'ing Boat

    July 26, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    Dibble’s been gone for a couple of years now. Do you think maybe it’s time to remove this from the site’s front page? Or else come up with a Bob-And-F.P drinking game, like drink every time F.P. uses the phrases “that’s how you play the game” or “on the black”, or every time Bob notes that fans are still coming up Half Street.

  33. On A MF'ing Boat

    July 26, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    Or jammage. Bob and “severe jammage.” All night long.

  34. Akraphobe

    July 27, 2012 at 12:18 PM

    Drink once when Kristina Akra asks a player “tell us what was going through your mind when…”.

    Drink twice when Akra wears a sleeveless outfit.

    Chug when Akra shows cleavage (almost never happens).

    MASN, you hired one of the hottest sports reporters on the planet and you dress her like a prairie schoolmarm.

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