This isn’t the place to debate the merits of MASN’s Nats broadcasting duo of Bob Carpenter and Rob Dibble. Just know that we don’t like them, nor do a lot of D.C. sports fans, nor does GQ, apparently.
Here’s the thing though: We do like the Nats, and MASN has the games, so we’ll keep watching. And if we can’t get Dibble fired, we can at least try to kick back and enjoy it.
With that, here’s the Bob & Rob Drinking Game, which, as you can see, was tested by our brother Beef, Da Meathook bobblehead and I last Friday night to the tune of 14 Amstel Lights in nine innings. Your mileage may vary.
Drink when …
Rob says “we,” “our” or “us.”
Bob cracks a corny joke.
Rob refers to his playing career.
Bob refers to the Cardinals.
Bob or Rob spouts a cliché (e.g. “you have to be strong up the middle”).
Bob or Rob is just plain wrong (e.g. “Juan Pierre is an excellent player.”).
Bob or Rob uses one of the following nicknames: “Gentleman Zim, “The Goozer,” The Capper,” “The Hammer,” “The Body” or “Big Bad Dunn.”
Drink twice when …
Bob or Rob praises Ivan Rodriguez for intangibles such as leadership.
Rob complains about pitchers throwing too many offspeed pitches.
Bob or Rob complains about Adam Dunn taking too many pitches.
Rob is shown wearing bitchin’ transition eyeglass lenses.
Sideline reporter extraordinaire Debbie Taylor appears.
Debbie talks to you like you’re 2 years old.
Drink three times when …
Rob yells, grunts, claps and/or laughs maniacally.
Rob’s tattoos are visible on the broadcast.
Rob suggests the Nats throw at someone.
Rob complains about balls and strikes.
Rob complains about and/or mocks those who use the Internet.
Chug when …
Debbie asks a tough question. (Note: This will not occur.)
Bob says, “See. You. Later.” (Note: This means the Nats have hit a home run, and Rob is probably yelling as well, so just finish your drink.)
(Our thanks to those who contributed to the rules and regulations here, including Chris Needham and Dan Steinberg as well as numerous Mr. Irrelevant commenters and @MrIrrelevantDC followers.)