John Wall vs. Rajon Rondo: Who Ya Got?

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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There aren’t many doubleheaders in the NBA regular season, so basketball fans are in for a treat when the Wizards and Celtics face off on consecutive nights this Sunday and Monday. Washington is riding a four-game win streak and, at 13-5, will be a heavy favorite over the 6-11 Celtics, though Boston is on a two-game win streak of its own.

Regardless, this doubleheader is worthy of its own post simply because of the showdown between former Kentucky stars John Wall and Rajon Rondo.

The No. 1 overall pick in 2010 has been putting on a show all season in D.C., and Bradley Beal’s return has made his life that much easier. Wall, third in the league in assists, has at least 12 in each of the last three games and is averaging a career-high 9.8 dimes per game.

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How To Quit The Redskins Cold Turkey

Here to collect his winnings from correctly predicting the Redskins-49ers game is JP.

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The “breaking point,” “the straw that broke the camel’s back,” “one toke over the line,” wait, what? Yeah, if you’re a fan of the Redskins and their broke-dick, cheese-eating, high school-boy (thank you, Canadian power poppers, The Pursuit Of Happiness) mentality and clueless approach to organization, you’ve probably hit the above referenced metaphors at some time in the last milieu, no matter how eternally optimistic the sunshine blazing out of your ass would like to say otherwise. And once that sunshine has been squelched and you’re left with nothing more than a singed bunghole and a depressingly unhealthy mindset that leaves you sitting alone in a darkened room, Evan Williams spilled all over the floor, and you furiously spinning the chamber wondering how it came to this and could there possibly be a way out that doesn’t involve storming The Danny’s castle armed for bear or sucking a bullet out of the business end of a forty-five, well the answer is yes, yes there is.

Now the answer I’m going to offer up may seem to some to be even more egregious and immoral than the previously aforementioned scenarios involving death, murder, mayhem and all sorts of nuclear weapons aimed at The Little Fuckface; the solution, a pill that’s so bitter to swallow even the dipshit Imagineers at Disney and nerds at Industrial Light and Magic could never, ever conceive of it.

What is it, you ask yourself that could be so horrendous, so terrifying that it could send both NFL fans and H. P. Lovecraft aficionados screaming into the night and jumping into the abyss? The answer, gentle reader, is turning in your Redskins card, dropping all rooting interest in the team you grew up cheering for. It means hanging up your jerseys, peeling the stickers off of your car, donating your t-shirts and hats to Goodwill. I’m not gonna blow resinous smoke up your nether regions, it’s a hard road to embark upon, no matter how many cases of Flying Dog Imperial Porter you have on hand to weather the storm. The fuck of it is though, deep down inside, you know you’ve gotta cut that treacherous, all-encompassing, all-consuming football cancer outta your life, the same cancer that eats a wee bit more of your heart and mind with every Existence Crushing Interception, every Demoralizing Defensive Breakdown, every Soul-Abusing Gaffe.

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Photo Contest: We’re Looking For The Best-Worst Redskins Jerseys

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When you root for a team like the Redskins, you’re bound to have skeletons in the closet, and by skeletons I mean a LaVar Arrington jersey. Or a Fred Smoot. Or a Jason Campbell. Or an RGIII. Or an Orakpo. And that’s just in the Mottram family wardrobe alone.

It comes with the territory of rooting for a team that burns through high-priced free agents and high draft picks like Dan Snyder through a bottle of Crown before giving Mike Shanahan a five-year deal.

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4 Wizards Things to Watch This Week

Welcome back to a new weekly series by Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

The Wizards have lost two of three games for the first time this season, and, though they still have the second-best record in the East at 10-5, they’re now 2.5 games behind Toronto for the top spot, and only a half-game above Chicago.

Luckily, the next two weeks or so should be one of the easier stretches of their schedule. The Wiz started a four-game homestand on Saturday with a win over half-man, half-machine, half-unibrow Anthony Davis (if you’ve seen him play, you understand why he’s at 150 percent). Now the Heat bring their talent to the District.

But after Miami, Washington starts a stretch where it plays the Lakers, Nuggets, Celtics (twice) and Magic, who have a combined record of 20-39 heading into this weekend. This is the Wizards’ chance to make a run and open a nice lead on the rest of the division.

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Redskins-Colts Predictions

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Cheers to JP for predicting the Redskins would lose a close one in San Francisco. Now he gets to guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Matt Terl: Colts, 28-27

COLT VS. COLTS!!!!!!!

Chris Mottram: Colts, 28-24

Benching RGIII is the right “football move,” giving them the best chance to win, but it won’t matter.

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The 2014 Redskins Report Card Is Not Great

Here with a guest post for correctly predicting Redskins-Buccaneers is Mr. Irrelevant reader Z from Chestertown, Md.

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RGIII

It’s clear to most of the football world outside of the hopelessly optimistic and denial-ridden rooters that RGIII is not a very good quarterback. As many predicted, the read option was not sustainable both for the physical toll it would take on an undersized player and the eventual adjustments defenses would make in order to contain it. Without the read option RGIII is a below-average quarterback. There are too many inaccurate passes, missed open receivers, bad reads and sacks taken to blame everything on the obviously talent-deficient offensive line.

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Redskins-49ers Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 17-13 loss in San Francisco.

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Winners

Alfred Morris – Topped 100 yards rushing for the first time this season, which is nice.

Tress Way — Pinned two or three inside the 10 and averaged 47 per. Team MVP.

Jim Haslett — It brings me no joy to slap the “winner” tag on Haz, and it’s no great feat to hold the 49ers to 17, but his squad did it despite being down to Santana Moss at cornerback. (Really.)

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Mr. Irrelevant is a D.C. sports blog covering the Redskins, Nationals, Orioles, Wizards, Capitals, Terrapins and more.