Yankees Suck
It’s a Lot Easier to Be a Great Closer When the Strikezone Is Six Inches Wider
Monday, August 25th, 2008Here are two pitches from Mariano Rivera to Jay Payton and then Nick Markakis in key situations — 1-2 count, two outs, runner on base, down by one — during yesterday’s loss to the Yankees. Let’s play a little game called “guess whether the ump called these balls or strikes.” Keep in mind that […]
You Could Root for the O’s and Yankees Too If You Stole Scenes in Boogie Nights
Friday, July 18th, 2008The only way to explain what one of the finest thespians of our generation is doing here is that his head is acting like an O’s fan while his chest is acting like a Yankees fan while his legs are acting like a teenager who shops at Pacific Sunwear PacSun. His belly, though, his belly […]
Camden Yards Is Conducive to Homers
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008As glorious as the Mottram man trip to Camden was on Monday, yesterday’s game may have outdone it (although I am a sucker for some great pitching and defense). It had a little bit of everything, including free baseball, which is the best you can hope for at a ballgame. Most notable, however, were the […]
Moose Gets Straight Served; Yanks Learn That Luke Scott Ain’t No Punk Bitch
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008This is just the greatest highlight ever. Moose, that turncoat pile of shit, gives up seven over 2/3 innings (thanks in part to Jeter’s two out error). Then — after Jeter gets plunked on the hand, which is apparently connected directly to his vagina — the Yanks learn the hard way that Luke Scott ain’t […]
This Seems Like Questionable Journalism
Friday, December 14th, 2007Yes, only the classy folks in Mercer County, New Jersey could publish a headline like the one to the right. This is from today’s issue of The Trentonion. It’s even worse when you take into account the entire front-page headline: “MLB Steroid Probe: He Took it in the Butt.” That’s one sexy probe.
I was previously […]
Something Tells Me This Guy Is Excited About the Yankees Losing
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007Because all stereotypes are always completely true, I’m fairly certain this is how everyone from Brooklyn acts (adult language warning):
Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it would be to stick $230 million up your ass? No, I didn’t suspect you would. But I’d be more than willing to find out for humanity’s sake if […]
There’s No Crying in Baseball!
Tuesday, October 9th, 2007It’s Tuesday and, shit, we could all use a good laugh. So cheer yourself up by listening to Yankees broadcaster Suzyn Waldman cry (CRY!) on air after the Yanks lost the series to the Indians last night (go ahead and fast-forward to when she starts talking).
Hey Suz, aside from the fact that you couldn’t possibly […]
Yankees Love Them Some Chesney
Friday, August 31st, 2007Country/pop superstar Kenny Chesney has been romantically linked to sexy athletes such as Peyton Manning, but it seems he may have redirected his man-love towards the Yankees. At last night’s concert at MSG, the ambiguously gay cowboy brought out some of the Yanks to sing some song I’m familiar with because my mom loves this […]