Category Archives: Winners & Losers

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 44-17 season-ending loss to Dallas.


DeSean Jackson — He made yet another big play, this time a 69-yard touchdown, to cap off a season full of them. They call him King Turd up here on Shit Mountain, but if you want it you can have the crown.


Jay Gruden — Lost by 27 to a rival with nothing to gain, finishing 4-12 with no hope, though he does still have a job.

Robert Griffin III — Two picks in the red zone, one fumble for six the other way and boatloads of doubt heading into 2015.

Jim Haslett — One more steaming pile from the Haz. PSGO.

Special teams coach whose name I never remember — Fell for the onside kick.

David Amerson — Burnt by Dez Bryant, burnt by Terrance Williams.

E.J. Biggers — That facemask tackle was textbook horseshit.

Pierre Garcon blindsides Cowboys defender


Pierre Garcon — The late block that set off a melee after RGIII’s TD was fine by me.

Roy Helu — The little move he pulled on the fake reverse was nice.

Draft position — We have the fifth overall pick to look forward to.

(GIF taken with love from The Big Lead.)

Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. Today, a 27-24 win over Philly.


DeSean Jackson — Four catches for 126 yards, including two for 50-plus. Even put a little something extra on it for Philly, which he’s now torn up twice since they cut him this year. Now has over 1,000 yards on the season and is averaging an NFL-best 20 yards per catch. Remarkable.

Jay Gruden — There are very few rules here, but one we do have is if you snap a six-game losing streak and put Philly’s playoff hopes on the ropes, then you’re a winner.

Robert Griffin III — Seventy percent completions, 10 yards per attempt and his one turnover was a 40-yard-net INT on third-and-long. Good enough.

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Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. Today, a 24-13 loss at New York.


Robert Griffin III — While it wasn’t finest-hour stuff, he played well enough to make people (i.e., me) wonder why he was benched for Colt McCoy these past three weeks.


Jay Gruden — If he keeps his job, I will wish him well, but it’s not looking good for this dude.

Jim Haslett — How does Odell Beckham Jr. torch half the league, score two touchdowns against your own team and *then* go uncovered downfield for another TD? I don’t know, but it got called back, so ODB went and scored yet another TD.

That new special teams coach whose name I can never remember — Of course they gave up an onside kick coming out of the half.

The offensive line — Another seven sacks for this bunch. Some of those could probably be pinned to RGIII’s QB stylings, but still.

DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon — Fifteen targets for 51 yards. That’s not good.


Bashaud Breeland — I’m not sure a corner who was flagged four (or was it five?) times has ever played so well.

Ryan Kerrigan — Picked up another sack, apparently. That’s 12.5.

Will Compton — I’d never heard of this man before. He’s our starting middle linebacker.

DallasThey could win 11 games and still miss the playoffs.

Redskins-49ers Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 17-13 loss in San Francisco.

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Alfred Morris — Topped 100 yards rushing for the first time this season, which is nice.

Tress Way — Pinned two or three inside the 10 and averaged 47 per. Team MVP.

Jim Haslett — It brings me no joy to slap the “winner” tag on Haz, and it’s no great feat to hold the 49ers to 17, but his squad did it despite being down to Santana Moss at cornerback. (Really.)

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Redskins First Half Winners & Losers

Here with a guest post for accurately predicting the Dallas game, it’s Mr. Irrelevant reader and “Snyder Sucks” T-shirt model Ryan Fitzpatrick.


Coming off a disastrous 2013 that saw the Redskins limp to a 3-13 finish, there was some hope for improvement coming into this season. Don’t worry, it didn’t last long.

In typical Washington Football Team fashion, there were questionable offseason signings, a quarterback controversy and PR issues off the field. Don’t forget a new head coach in Jay Gruden, offensive coordinator Sean McVay and special teams coach Ben Kotwica. Unfortunately for us fans, Jim Haslett managed to keep his top job, again. Basically, we were doomed from the start.

The season started off with a loss on the road against the Texans. The next week is when things got really interesting with another injury to Robert Griffin III and the return of Kirk Cousins. Like most fans, I immediately had flashbacks to the Seattle game. Captain Kirk led us to a 41-10 win over the Jaguars while also kickstarting the eventually QB carousel.

After struggling under center, Cousins was benched at halftime vs. the Titans in favor of Colt McCoy, the 873rd starting QB in franchise history. Just when things looked to be at rock bottom, McCoy makes the biggest start of his career the following week against the heavily favored Cowboys on Monday night. And what a Monday night it turned out to be!

Somehow, all the stars aligned and the Redskins played well enough to win in overtime 20-17 (which I correctly predicted); it was an instant classic. Before we even had a chance to soak it all in, the Redskins did what they always seem to do and stirred up some more drama by starting RGIII in Minnesota and bringing things full circle with another loss in Week 9. Awesome!

Now that we’re all caught up, let’s point some fingers at those who have showed up and showed out and those who have, um … sucked. Some of these rankings are based on stats and some are based on gut feelings while watching the games. We’ll just skip over the parts about Daily Show segments, South Park episodes, Ben Shelly, bus crashes, trademarks, name-change debates and the resulting protests. That stuff is pretty boring anyways, right? Right. Continue reading

Redskins-Vikings Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 29-26 loss at Minnesota.

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DeSean Jackson — Made his eighth and ninth catches this year of 40-plus yards; no one else in the NFL has more than five. Pretty remarkable, given the offense he’s in and who has thrown to him.

Alfred Morris — Things really open up for him when RGIII is there (19 for 82 and two touchdowns). The James Brown-esque coat routine after his first TD was a nice touch.

Trent Murphy — Got his first career sack, giving him 1.0 on the season. Or, .5 more than Brian Orakpo.

David Amerson — Appeared to make a really nice INT in the first half. It was ruled incomplete, though, because Jay Gruden has proven incapable of winning challenges.

Bashaud Breeland — Keeps showing up, showing out.

Tress Way — Averaged 45.3 per punt, including one out of his own end zone that was fair caught in Vikings territory.


Jim Haslett — They were so good defensively for most of the first half! Then Minnesota reeled off 29 points in just over 30 minutes. Not sure how or why Haz laid back vs. a middling rookie QB one week after blitzing the hell out of Romo, but it was very Haslett, and very Redskins.

Jay Gruden — I’m not necessarily assigning blame to him or retroactively disagreeing with his decisions, but these are the facts: He lost another challenge (0-6 on the season), went for two when he didn’t have to (and it backfired a bit), had his authority called into question on ESPN and fell to 3-6. That’s a tough day, man.

Shawn Lauvao — Killer holding call to negate the defensive pass interference that would’ve sustained that final drive.

Pierre Garcon — Only 15 yards receiving and failed to reel in RGIII’s on-target (albeit contested) deep ball.

Keenan Robinson — Not sure what he was thinking on that late-and-vicious hit on Bridgewater. Well-deserved flag, there.

Jordan Reed — Forgotten man in today’s game plan, apparently.

Brandon Meriweather — Completely whiffed on somebody in the open field. Can’t remember who.

Logan Paulsen — False start. That is all.

Chris Myers and Ronde Barber — Not a great announcing duo, to say the least.

Just the Redskins, in general — This bit from Steinberg’s Best & Worst sums it up nicely:

Worst pregame: Well, the Redskins got in a bus accident, were hit by a double-dip of negative ESPN stories and were protested by thousands outside the stadium. The Vikings…I dunno. I guess they just went to the game.


Robert Griffin III — Looked terrific in the first quarter. Perfect, really, highlighted by his escape of two defenders before throwing for a big gain (see above) and being accurate with the deep ball while also running effectively. It was like 2012 all over again. Then he was not so terrific, lowlighted by a late-first half pick and an end-game fourth-down incompletion, both of which were inexplicably off-target. He did stay healthy, though, which is the most important thing.

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Here to hand out labels following the Skins’ 20-17 OT win in Dallas on Monday Night Football is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi.


The Fans — We stuck it out and enjoyed a classic rivalry game. Through shitty non-call holding penalties that should have ended the game in regulation, through horrendous delay of games, we stuck with them and WON IN DALLAS.

Colt McCoy –- He now has a 1.000 winning percentage as a Skins starting QB.

Bashaud Breeland –- Studded it up. Forced a fumble, denied Dez twice in a row at the goal line.

Perry Riley –- Two huge stops on the OT drive.

Jordan Reed –- Great catches. Continues to be clutch on third down.

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Redskins-Titans Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 19-17 win over Tennessee that I did not watch. So let’s hand it over to Twitter friend @youlookfoolish.