Category Archives: Winners & Losers

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Here to hand out labels following the Skins’ 20-17 OT win in Dallas on Monday Night Football is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi.


The Fans — We stuck it out and enjoyed a classic rivalry game. Through shitty non-call holding penalties that should have ended the game in regulation, through horrendous delay of games, we stuck with them and WON IN DALLAS.

Colt McCoy –- He now has a 1.000 winning percentage as a Skins starting QB.

Bashaud Breeland –- Studded it up. Forced a fumble, denied Dez twice in a row at the goal line.

Perry Riley –- Two huge stops on the OT drive.

Jordan Reed –- Great catches. Continues to be clutch on third down.

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Redskins-Titans Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 19-17 win over Tennessee that I did not watch. So let’s hand it over to Twitter friend @youlookfoolish.

Redskins-Cardinals Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 30-20 loss at Arizona to fall to 1-5.


DeSean Jackson — Three catches for 115 yards and a TD. You’d think that making big plays and playing for the Washington Football Club would be mutually exclusive.

Jordan Reed — Eight catches on 11 targets for 92 yards. And more importantly, back on the field!

Kai Forbath — Touchbacks! No blocked kicks! It’s the little things.


Dan Snyder — Just look at him up there, like some kind of nerd-villain.

Jay Gruden — Off to a 1-5 start, which is worse than Mike Shanahan or Jim Zorn ever were.

Kirk Cousins — INT hat trick! Three today, seven in the past three weeks, 18 for his 13-game career.

Brian OrakpoThat drop was brutal. Shutout in the sack column too; now has 0.5 on the season.

Andre Roberts — Fumbling at your homecoming has to hurt.

Alfred Morris — Thirteen carries, 3.2 per. Second straight bad game.

Chris ChesterManaged to tackle D-Jax while blocking for him, which is very Redskins.

E.J. BiggersThe attempted tackled on Larry Fitzgerald’s TD was not great.

Bradley BealOut 6-8 weeks with a broken wrist. Hold me.


Pierre Garcon — Scored a TD, but it was his third straight game with 31 yards or less. These are not good times.

Redskins-Seahawks Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 27-17 MNF loss to Seattle.


Kirk Cousins — If you compare this to his last outing he looked like Joe Montana. Any way you cut it, 283 yards, two TDs and no picks against Seattle ain’t bad. That first bomb to DeSean Jackson (above) was like a ray of sunshine in monsoon season.

DeSean Jackson — His 157 receiving yards accounted for 51% of the Redskins’ total offense.

Ryan Kerrigan — Made a drive-stopping sack, blowing right by the guard. Is now tied for the NFL lead with six.

Tress Way — Averaged 49.9 yards per punt, and is now averaging 52.2 per for the season, which is best in the league by two yards. His net average (42.3) is good for seventh in the league, but I’m not yet ready to accept the Redskins having a good punter, especially one named Tress Way.


Jim Haslett — Were they unaware that Russell Wilson can run? Because Wilson ran for a MNF QB-record 122 yards, and it looked like he could’ve gotten 122 more. Overall, the defense was brutal in the first half and decent in the second. They really benefited from Seahawks miscues. Percy Harvin alone had three touchdowns called back.

Jay Gruden — Seattle’s tough, but his offense looked inept for long stretches. He’s also now 0-5 on challenges, but that may be Replay Booth Coordinator Bruce Allen’s fault.

Ben Kowitca — Of course Seattle’s fake field goal worked.

Alfred Morris — You know I love FroMo, but 2.2 yards/carry and a fumble is no way to go through life.

Pierre Garcon — Caught two balls for 23 yards, and was told by Richard Sherman that “he doesn’t matter in this league.” Rough night.

E.J. Biggers — I don’t have a complete picture of his performance, but two things stand out: 1) getting punked by Wilson in the open field, and 2) being called for holding in punt coverage on a kick that was clearly going to be either a touchback or a fair catch.

Morgan Moses — Came in at right tackle for an injured Tyler Polumbus, and then this happened.

Kai Forbath — He proved in the second half that he *can* kick the ball into the end zone. So why do they continue utilizing the strategy of pooching it high and short? Seattle started their opening drive on the 35 and had the field position advantage all night long.

Jon Gruden — It can’t be easy calling your kid brother’s game. But it seemed like he went out of his way to criticize Haslett at every turn, while also praising Wilson for things that seemed like veiled criticisms of RGIII. He also wouldn’t question Jay’s decisions, including electing to kick on 4th-and-1 from the 10 down 17-7 in the third and then following that up with a failed onside kick. C’mon, man.


Robert Griffin III — New hair alert! It’s kinda Iverson-y.

Andre Roberts — Picked up a couple first downs and scored a TD, but had a bad drop on a 2nd-and-10 with momentum happening.

Perry Riley — Missed the tackle on Marshawn Lynch’s TD, but made 10 tackles on the night.

Orioles-Tigers ALDS Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Baltimore’s opening-round sweep of Detroit.

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Nelson Cruz — As if he wasn’t enough of a free-agent steal already after leading the league with 40 HRs, he hit two more against Detroit, including the series-winning blow. Now has 16 HRs in 37 career playoff games, and he slash lined .500/.500/1.000 for the series.

Buck Showalter – Pulled all the right strings. Example: With one out and a man on second in the ninth inning of Game 3, he intentionally walked Nick Castellanos to put the winning run on base. The next batter grounded into a series-ending DP.

Delmon Young — That bases-clearing triple in Game 2 was incredible, providing this Vine of the year candidate.

Bud Norris — Matched up against David Price, he threw six-plus innings of shutout ball, allowing just two hits. Bud Norris!

Andrew Miller — High-level bullpen boss. Threw three-and-a-third innings in two appearances, giving up no runs or hits and walking one.

Kevin Gausman — Provided valuable long relief in Game 2. Dennis Eckersley said he’s “got some hair.” High praise.

Pretty much the entire lineup — Faced three Cy Young winners, scored 21 runs. Also committed just one error.


There are no losers here, not on Baltimore’s side at least.


Chris DavisCrush could be back by the end of the ALCS.

Game 1 of the ALCS is Friday, time and opponent TBD.

Nats-Giants NLDS Game 2 Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following the longest game in MLB playoff history, an 18-inning, six hour-and-23 minute 2-1 loss to San Francisco.

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Jordan Zimmermann — Fresh off of a no-hitter, he came within one out of a shutout in a near-must-win playoff situation. What a stud.

Anthony Rendon — Started off 4-4, driving in the Nats only run. Also stole a base and played sharp at third. Also a stud.

Tyler Clippard, Matt Thornton, Jerry Blevins, Craig Stammen and Rafael Soriano — Combined for seven innings of scoreless relief.

Ryan Zimmerman — Got a pinch-hit basehit.

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The entire lineup, aside from Rendon — Denard Span, Jayson Werth, Adam LaRoche, Ian Desmond, Bryce Harper, Wilson Ramos and Asdrubal Cabrera went 4-53, by my count. AssCab did double, FWIW, but he also got himself thrown out for arguing balls and strikes — in the playoffs. This team only has three runs through 27 innings.

Drew Storen — I feel bad for him, about as bad as you can feel for someone in a sports context and non-injury situation. But he came in and blew it, like he did two years ago. (For extra sadness, read Barry Svrluga on Storen’s redemption from just a few days ago.)

Matt Williams — I didn’t disagree with him pulling ZNN for Storen at the time, and I won’t question it now. But it was his call, and it didn’t work. Also, that ejection was weird.

Nats fans — I don’t blame folks for leaving early, it was a six-hour game in 40-degree weather after all, but it’s not a good look.

Home plate umpire Vic Carapazza — The Nats didn’t lose because of him, but he did suck. The strike zone was all over the place, and two outs in the ninth inning of a complete game shutout is a hell of a time to start squeezing a guy. Karma’s a bitch. (Update: This is an awesome look at Carapazza squeezing ZNN in the 9th.)


Tanner Roark — After a great season as the fifth starter, he was kept out of the playoff rotation and was the last man out of the bullpen. Pitched a scoreless 17th before giving up a solo shot in the 18th. Tough breaks, dude.

Game 3 is in San Francisco on Monday, Doug Fister vs. Madison Bumgarner. The Nats must win to stay alive.

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 45-14 home loss to the Giants.


Mottram brother Ryan — Look how joyful the pregame scene was for this young fan and the Moss man.


The Washington Redskins — What an all-around shitshow that was.


Me — Apologies for not writing a real Winners & Losers post this week. It’s not that the game was so bad I don’t want to write about it, it’s just that Mottram brother Chris and his family are visiting, and I’d rather hang out with them than blog about the Skins. We did enjoy that Daily Show segment, though.

Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 37-34 loss at Philly.


Kirk Cousins — Rex Grossman-esque crunch-time INT aside, he was terrific, and it makes me rethink last week’s “How Good Is Kirk Cousins?” poll. My vote was for New York Mark Sanchez, you see, and most of you voted for Poor Man’s Andy Dalton or Young Matt Hasselbeck. But now I’m thinking, Normal-Sized Nick Foles.

Pierre Garcon — Had a huge day, including two fantastic catches along the sideline (see above). With apologies to Santana Moss, he’s my favorite receiver since Art Monk.

DeSean Jackson — Caught an 81-yard TD pass and taunted his skinny little ass off. Of course he did. I’m not ready to love him yet.

Niles Paul — He’s a pass-catcher all of the sudden! (Six for 68.)

Bashaud Breeland — That strip on Darren Sproles was crucial.

Darrel Young — Three TDs in three games for the fullback vulture.

Tress Way — Three punts at 56.7 yards per. None blocked!


Ben Kotwica — It’s hard enough to root for the Redskins when they’re not doing things like giving up a kickoff return for a TD and doinking a 33-yard field goal. AND THEY DO THIS SHIT LIKE EVERY WEEK.

Kai Forbath — Aforementioned 33-yard doink.

Jim Haslett — We won’t have to hear any more about the Skins having “the No. 1 defense in the NFL.” Also, the Eagles were missing like four-fifths of their offensive line.

Perry Riley — Looked lost on both of Jordan Matthews’ TD catches.

Trent Murphy — Got his name called! For roughing the passer.

E.J. Biggers — Sure did earn that deep PI call.

Ryan Grant — Dropped what would’ve been a first down on third-and-long. It was his only target.

Bruce Allen — I don’t know why he’s involved in challenges, but that was one of the more asinine challenges.


Jay Gruden — The good news is this doesn’t appear to be a bad team, and they’ve put 85 points on the board in the past two weeks. The bad news is they’re 1-2, he lost his first division game and that was as idiotic a challenge as you’re going to see. Nice lipper, though.

Chris Baker — I didn’t have a problem with the block he put on Foles, but I don’t know, maybe that’s just because I’m a Skins fan.

Alfred Morris — Didn’t have much room to rumble and coughed one up, but I can’t label FroMo a loser.

DeAngelo Hall — Forced a fumble and didn’t get called for any foolishness. May have torn his Achilles’.

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman — I’m not fond of the A-Team, but they’re so much better than the alternative.

Redskins-Jaguars Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following every Washington game. This time, a 41-10 win over Jacksonville.


Kirk Cousins. Made sports talk radio callers the happiest people in the D.C. area this morning. Completed 66 percent of his passes for 250 yards and a pair of TDs with no turnovers. This happened against the Jaguars. This Sunday against Philly will be an actual test.

Ryan Kerrigan. Four sacks, generally unstoppable all day.

The Running Game. Morris/Redd/Helu combined for 128 yards and three touchdowns with Griffin and Andre Roberts throwing in another 41 yards. As a team, they averaged 4.5 yards per carry with 191 total on the ground.

Jason Hatcher. Seemed to be in the backfield all game, had 1.5 sacks of his own.

Chris Baker. Played great at his natural nose tackle position, danced even better after the game.

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Redskins-Texans Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time, a 17-6 loss at Houston to fall to 0-1.


Alfred Morris — Typical FroMo. 14 carries, 91 yards.

Pierre Garcon — Still a beast. 10 catches, 77 yards.

Ryan Kerrigan — Stripping Arian Foster inside the 10 was a sorely needed big play.

Jason Hatcher — Notched a real nice sack in his Skins debut.

Keenan Robinson — I don’t know if he actually played well or not, but it was his first career start and he got his name called quite a bit on the broadcast. Recovered a fumble and made a nice special teams tackle too. Seems like a swell guy.

Tress Way — Did you know our punter’s name is Tress Way? Averaged 49.2 per on five punts.

Ryan Fitzpatrick’s beard — Puts Jayson Werth’s to shame. Not bad, Harvard.

The 49ers — Thank you for what you did to Dallas.


Jay Gruden — I was hoping for an electrifying debut like the one Shanahan had two years ago, but yeah, that didn’t happen. The good news is the Skins outplayed ‘em, picking up more total yards, first downs and time of possession. The bad news is they did a ton of stupid shit, from penalties to turnovers to special teams gaffes to burnt timeouts to bad challenges. Humble beginning.

Ben Kowitca — One year after the Redskins special teams unit was one of the worst ever, they allowed not only a blocked extra point but a blocked punt for a TD. HOLY SHIT. I don’t know anything about new ST coach Ben Kowitca, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he was in Bruce Allen’s frat or something.

Whoever was blocking JJ Watt — Tyler Polumbus? Chris Chester? K. Lichtensteiger? All of the above? Other? IDK, it never actually happened.

Bacarri Rambo — Got all turned around and lost on DeAndre Hopkins’ 76-yard TD. Safety is a problem.

Jordan Reed Strained hamstring on his first catch of the season. Fantastic!

Barry Cofield — Left with a high ankle sprain and was seen in a walking boot after the game.

Nile Paul — Had a huge catch-and-run, only to fumble inside the 10.

Santana Moss — Weird seeing him as a healthy inactive. Ryan Grant, the guy who took his spot, was not targeted.

Roy Helu — Got some action in the backfield, and did something with it (six touches, 61 yards), but also let his man fly right by him on that blocked punt, which was good for -7 points.

DeAngelo Hall – Picked up a very D. Hall unnecessary roughness penalty, pushing a receiver who had a caught a ball on him and was already on the ground back onto the ground, after the whistle.

Andre Johnson — Passed Art Monk for 16th in all-time receiving yards. Nobody passes Art Monk in anything.

David Diehl — The latest talking meat puppet to step off of the NFL factory line and into Fox’s broadcast rotation. I’d call him Capt. Obvious, but that implies a minimum level of competence. Specializes in awkward silences, repeating himself and heavy breathing.


Robert Griffin III — Accurate on the short stuff and didn’t turn it over except for the botched handoff. Didn’t look sharp diagnosing the pass rush, and just didn’t seem dangerous with the ball. The line was a wreck, and I’m not sure we could’ve expected much better than what we got. If Andre Roberts stays in bounds on that one deep ball, which I think he should have, RGIII’s looking at 81% completion percentage and 300+ yards.

Jim Haslett — I’m not sure if it was the Skins D that played well or the Texans O that played poorly. Houston fans are probably saying the same thing in reverse.

Kai Forbath — His kickoffs were going to the back of the end zone, which was nice.

Darrel Young — Accidentally tackled Roberts on a punt return. Vultured a rushing TD from FroMo.

Andre Roberts – Pretty lackluster debut. Thought he should’ve stayed in bounds on that deep first half pass. Did average 28 yards on kick returns and 18 on punts.

DeSean Jackson — Caught 8 short passes on 9 targets in his Skins debut. Also lined up at RB a couple times. Mildly exciting.