Category Archives: Winners & Losers

Redskins-Saints Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 47-14 (!) win over New Orleans.



Kirk CousinsThe perfect game.

Jay Gruden — That first half was incredible. Washington had eight plays of 20 yards or more, matching their total from the first eight games of the season. The second half wasn’t bad either. Biggest win of Gruden’s 25-game career? Maybe, and it maintains the Redskins’ relevance in the mediocre NFC East for at least two more weeks.

Joe Barry — The defense has been terrible for weeks. The Saints scored easy touchdowns on their first two drives. Then they got shutout the rest of the way while Washington put 33 straight points on the board. Unbelievable.

Jamison Crowder — Scored the first touchdown of a long and very good career that I’ve already imagined for him.

Matt Jones — Fourteen touches for 187 yards, one touchdown and plenty of reminders that Matt Jones is a beast in space.

Jordan Reed — Two TDs today, six TDs in seven games this year.

DeSean Jackson — Only two catches on five targets, but one of them was for 42 yards on the opening drive. Set things up nicely.

Alfred Morris — First good game in two months (118 total yards).

Chris Thompson — Got in on the action with 77 yards on just three touches. New Orleans’ defense is real shitty.

Perry Riley Jr. — You know it’s a good day when 56 makes a play in coverage.

Chris Baker — Brought more “YOU LIKE THAT” into our lives.


Dashon Goldson — Failed to wrap up Mark Ingram, who proceeded to run down the sideline for 70 yards.

Rashad Ross — Fielded the opening kickoff (from Kai Forbath!) at the 5, then ran around back and forth for like 10 seconds before getting tackled at the 8, but their was holding on the play, so the Redskins started at the 4. Impressive!

The Eagles, the Cowboys and the Giants — All three lost today by a grand total of six points. The Skins are tied with Philly, a half-game back from New York. Dallas is basically out of it.


Sean PaytonDidn’t know what down it was when Drew Brees waved the punt unit off of the field and went for it on 4th-and-4, but whatever.

Redskins-Patriots Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 27-10 loss at New England.

Screen Shot 2015-11-08 at 9.40.58 PM


Will BlackmonHe played well, so there’s that.

Bill Belichick — An onside kick, up 7-0 in the first quarter as a 14-point favorite? What a spectacular asshole. (And it worked.)

The Panthers — No one would blame a couple of lifelong Skins fans who moved to North Carolina years ago and started supporting the now 8-0 Panthers, who beat Green Bay at home today. We’re talking about me and my brother here.


Jay Gruden — Early in the first half, down 7-0 I think, the Redskins went for it on 4th-and-11 from the New England 37. Then, at the end of the first half, down 17-0, they kicked a FG on 4th-and-goal from the 6. Now, I understand that each call is borderline, but context matters. I don’t see the logic in going for it in the first circumstance but not the second.

Most of the defense — I was going to go “medium” on them for creating some turnovers and holding New England to 27 points, which is well below their average, but let’s be honest: The Patriots could’ve gotten whatever they wanted on offense.

Pierre Garcon — Washington’s first play from scrimmage was an on-target throw that bounced off of Garcon’s shoulderpads, high into the air and then the waiting arms of a Patriots defender. It was a terrible drop, and the moment at which this game was pretty much over.

Actually, all of the receivers — So many drops. The broadcast counted seven, two from Garcon and one each from Jordan Reed, Derek Carrier (also terrible), Jamison Crowder, Matt Jones and Chris Thompson.

And DeSean Jackson, tooKeep it down, DeSean.

Matt Jones — The early second half fumble was a killer.

Morgan Moses — WTF was this?

Alfred Morris — Four carries for 10 yards. Woof.


Keenan Robinson — Only the second man to intercept Tom Brady this season. Managed to get tackled by a diving Brady on the return.

Kirk Cousins — If all of the drops were completions, he would’ve been 29-40 with maybe 300 yards and no picks. Meaning, at least he wasn’t Bad Kirk today.

Redskins-Buccaneers Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 31-30 win over Tampa Bay.



Kirk Cousins — The Redskins didn’t get a first down for most of the first half, and he turned a front-side sack into a fumble-six to go down 24-0. The next two-plus quarters were a showcase of the best Cousins could be, leading a DeSean Jackson-less offense to four touchdowns and a field goal, with the game-winning score coming in the final minute to cap off an 80-yard drive and the biggest comeback in franchise history.

This is the third time in four weeks Cousins has led a late drive to either win or tie a game, and it was the first where he put up huge numbers in the process (33-40, 317 yards, four total TD). He was a winner today, is what I’m saying.

Jordan Reed — Eleven catches on 13 targets for 72 yards and two scores. A total game-changer for the Redskins. Now averaging nine catches per game.

Jay Gruden — It wouldn’t have been much of a surprise to see the Redskins win three games this entire season, but here they are heading into the Week 8 bye, on pace for 7-9. I think we’d all be thrilled with that. Bonus points for calling for that dope-ass onside kick, down 24-14 in the third.

Dustin Hopkins — More touchbacks, another made FG, and a perfect onside kick to help turn the tide. I’m developing strong feelings for this man.

The wideouts — Neither Pierre Garcon, Ryan Grant, Andre Roberts and Jamison Crowder had a standout game, but the four combined for 16 catches on 20 targets, 206 yards and a score. Uncommon production from that crew.



The run D — Made Doug Martin look very 2012 Muscle Hamster-ish. Charles Sims too.

The pass D — I guess we should give these guys a break, given half of them are broken, but Jameis Winston had a better passer rating than Cousins.

Alfred Morris — Five yards on six carries. Woof.

Ryan Kerrigan — Broke his fuckin’ hand.



Matt Jones — Fifty-one yards on 12 total touches. Nice to see him back on the field, in the mix.

Redskins-Jets Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 34-20 loss in New York.

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 8.36.04 AM


Bashaud Breeland — Two fumble recoveries and one awesome interception in the first half alone. Chris says he’s getting a Breeland jersey. He should just modify his Portis; it’s best not to commit.

Dustin Hopkins — I love this man and his touchbacks and 50-plus-yard field goals.


Kirk Cousins — Quarterbacks of mediocre teams with decent defenses and nominally run-focused offenses aren’t asked to do very much. Just “manage the game,” really, meaning don’t turn it over. But Cousins has four multi-interception games already this season, all Redskins losses. Today’s performance was so poor it won’t be much of a surprise if Jay Gruden, acting president of the Kirk Cousins Fan Club, turns to Colt McCoy next week.


Pierre Garcon — Only 25 yards, but at least he shook Revis Island to its very core.

Redskins-Falcons Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 25-19 loss at Atlanta.

Screen Shot 2015-10-12 at 8.41.15 AM


The defense — To be without two of their top three corners and still hold Atlanta, which was averaging 34 points per game, to just 19 is damn good, especially after they were so damn bad the past couple of years. Joe Barry may be some sort of wizard.

Jamison Crowder — He was their top receiver on the day (eight catches on eight targets for 87 yards), and that first-down pickup on the third-and-10 screen was so nice. Now has 21 catches on 26 targets over the past three games.

Chris Baker — I love that this dude is emerging this season as a real factor. Two forced fumbles on the game.

Bashaud Breeland — A big INT and return, continues to be a secondary boss.

Trenton Robinson — It’s always startling when a Redskins player makes a nice catch on an interception. We’re also glad he was okay after that missed-FG celebration mishap.

Ryan Kerrigan — Two sacks, pushing his season total to 3.5.

Dustin Hopkins — Touchbacks galore, and now a 52-yarder to tie it at the end of regulation? Yessssss.

Derek Carrier — Congratulations to him on his first career TD.

Tress Way — Four punts averaging a net of 46.8 per, with two of them inside the 20.


Kirk Cousins — The game-tying drive in regulation was nice, but he was inaccurate throughout, and that pick-six at the end was a killer, even if Ryan Grant fell down on the route. Season to date, statistically speaking, he hasn’t shown improvement over his work of the past three seasons.

The run game — Making Cousins’ ineffectiveness worse is that Atlanta focused on stopping the run, and stop the run they did, holding both Alfred Morris and Matt Jones to less than two yards per carry.

Pierre Garcon — Just three catches on eight targets, with a few borderline drops strewn in.


The offensive line — Couldn’t run, but did keep Cousins off his ass.

(Pic of Kyle Shanahan and RGIII taken with love from @ScottSmithFOX5.)

Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a soggy, glorious 23-20 win over Philly.

Screen Shot 2015-10-05 at 9.21.26 AM


Kirk Cousins — Like most middling, inconsistent quarterbacks, there is Good Kirk and there is bad Kirk. This was Very Good Kirk, from the mistake-free football throughout to the 90-yard game-winning drive at the end. It was a tantalizing glimpse of what we hope will be the future, but we’d like to see him do it again next week. (Bonus points for the burgundy suit.)

Pierre Garcon — Continues an odd season of very short receptions (only nine yards/catch), but that touchdown at the end was so impressive. A great moment for him, and a ray of light for the franchise.

Jamison Crowder — Led the team in targets with 12 (no one else had more than eight). Seems to have supplanted Andre Roberts as the slot guy, and rightfully so.

Alfred Morris — Only 62 yards on 17 carries, but he reasserted himself a bit as the alpha back, and he was huge on that final drive.

Chris Thompson — Ninety total yards? He had 133 in all of 2013-14 plus the start of this year. Looks like he’s the third-down back.

The Hogs — One sack on 46 dropbacks, and four yards/carry against a tough run defense. That’s how you possess the ball for 41-plus minutes, and that’s generally how you win games.

Chris Baker — Two sacks for the big boy, and a nice celebration dance, which he said was the “Milly Rock.” Here’s how you too can do the Milly Rock.

Trent Murphy — A big sack and a fun lateral-interception of sorts on the final drive.

Bashaud Breeland — He really is our best corner, isn’t he?

Terrance Knighton“It’s a rivalry. I don’t want to shake hands.”

Dustin Hopkins — One hundred-percent touchback rate.

Jay Gruden — As usual, he needed this. And I thought he called a pretty good game, too.


Jordan Reed — The fumble was tough. The concussion is even tougher. Hopefully he’s able to (safely) return quickly, unlike 2013, when he missed the last six weeks of the season.

Chris CulliverShowed toughness playing through a knee injury. Still got burnt for two touchdowns.

Matt Jones — Had nowhere to run (11 yards on seven carries).

Ryan Grant — Didn’t do much, but was targeted a season-high seven times.

Tress Way — When punting from the other team’s 35-yard-line, it’s best to not put it five yards deep in their end zone.


We the fans — Let’s stay this way, despite beating a division rival to move into a three-way tie for first before a Week 5 matchup with the 4-0 Falcons.

Ryan Kerrigan — Finally sacked Sam Bradford on the final drive after whiffing on him at least twice earlier in the game. It was his first full sack of the season. Here’s to many more.

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 32-21 loss in New York on a Thursday night that was miserable from start to finish.

Screen Shot 2015-09-24 at 11.14.43 PM


Keenan Robinson — Seemed to play well, side-to-side (13 tackles).

Rashad Ross — The Redskins scored their first special teams TD in five years! Of course, the game was already well out of hand when it happened, but it’s good just knowing that such a thing is in the realm of possibility.

Dustin Hopkins — Touchbacks are so nice.


Kirk Cousins — Threw a bad pick from his own 10 and continued to make poor throws throughout the first half. Threw another INT in the second half for good measure, this time on a tipped ball that he tried to force in for a short gain on 1st-and-10.

Cousins-Elway comparisonsYeah, no.

Terrance Plummer — Let RB Rashad Jennings get through for a blocked punt, and was then called for holding on a fair catch. All while wearing London Fletcher’s number. May never see the field again.

Jay Gruden — A win would’ve been huge for him, but it was off the rails from the start.

The front seven — No pressure, no sacks.

Matt Jones — The only thing of consequence that he did was fumble it over the goal line for a touchback.

Alfred Morris — Six carries, and he was second fiddle.

DeAngelo Hall — Suffered a non-contact injury.

Trenton Robinson — I barely know who he is, but he got trucked by Andre Williams. Shades of Brandon Jacobs-over-LaRon Landry.


Jordan Reed — Was still a steady threat in the passing game, but also negated a big play with a pick penalty on the opening drive.

Bashaud Breeland — Had some trouble with ODB, but who doesn’t?

Shawn Lauvao — Showed how valuable he is to the O-line by getting hurt in the early going.

Chris Thompson — Racked up some good garbage-time stats.

Sweet play-action fake image taken with love from @BrendanPorath.

Redskins-Rams Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 24-10 win over St. Louis that I watched on DVR in 40 minutes while handling a 1-year-old.

Screen Shot 2015-09-20 at 8.50.20 PM


Kirk Cousins — 85% completions and no picks? Didn’t know Cuz had it in him.

The defense, especially the D-line — I would like to see them keep doing that thing where they allow only 10 points per game.

Matt Jones — Oh, you sexy, 146 yards on 22 touches beast. (That fumble, though.)

The O-line — 182 rushing yards. Kept Cousins clean, too.

Jordan Reed — There was a little debate in our comments last week about him being a top-five tight end. Six catches on six targets for 82 yards today, on pace for 104 catches and 1,160 yards for the season (top-three among TEs in both categories), so … maybe?

Dustin Hopkins — Nailed a 46-yarder and all but one touchback.

Jay Gruden — Oh my God did he need that. We all did.

Transitive properties — St. Louis beat Seattle last week, and Miami lost to Jacksonville today, so … Jaguars > Dolphins > Redskins > Rams > Seahawks.


The NFC East — The Eagles are 0-2. The Giants are 0-2. The Cowboys are 2-0, but Romo broke his collarbone. Meaning, the Redskins are just six wins shy of being 7-9 division champs!


Alfred Morris — It takes a big man to split carries with a rookie.

Ryan Grant — Hey, six targets for the second-year wideout.

Pierre Garcon — Six catches for 23 yards is just weird.

Redskins-Dolphins Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Redskins games, this time a 17-10 loss to Miami.



Alfred Morris — Always good to see a well-fed FroMo (121 yards on 25 carries). Matt Jones got some too (28 on six), which means they ran it a lot, and effectively. Scored just 10 points, though, zero in the second half.

Brandon ScherffNeutralizing Ndamukong Suh is damn good.

Preston Smith — A sack and a sloppy forced fumble in his debut.

Dolphins fans They exist!


Jay Gruden — The attempted FG on 4th-and-1 in the first quarter comes to mind specifically, but in-game decisions in general don’t seem to be Gruden’s forte.

Special teams — Of course they gave up a punt return TD. Of course! Not that you need it read back to you, but here are the Redskins special teams rankings from 2014 to 2010, according to Football Outsiders: 29th, 32nd, 28th, 21st and 25th.

DeSean JacksonPulled a hammy on their second drive. Aside from Trent Williams, Scherff and maybe Kirk Cousins, that’s the last guy the offense can lose. So, maybe the fourth guy. Still, it’s a loss.

Andre Roberts — Dropped a WR screen, then quit on the play, despite it being a live ball.

Ndamukong SuhC’mon, man. Football is violent enough.

Chris Culliver and Keenan Robinson — Each dropped an INT, though Culliver’s was way worse, given that a) he’s a cornerback, b) it was right in his bread basket and c) he would’ve taken it to the house.



Kirk Cousins — About what you’d expect, although the yards/attempt (6.3) were down from his career average (7.4).

Pierre Garcon and Jordan Reed — Disappointments from 2014 were both decent (13 catches on 19 targets for 137 yards and a score).

New return men — Chris Thompson’s one KR went for 36 yards, and Jamison Crowder’s two PR’s went for 23. It’s something!

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 44-17 season-ending loss to Dallas.


DeSean Jackson — He made yet another big play, this time a 69-yard touchdown, to cap off a season full of them. They call him King Turd up here on Shit Mountain, but if you want it you can have the crown.


Jay Gruden — Lost by 27 to a rival with nothing to gain, finishing 4-12 with no hope, though he does still have a job.

Robert Griffin III — Two picks in the red zone, one fumble for six the other way and boatloads of doubt heading into 2015.

Jim Haslett — One more steaming pile from the Haz. PSGO.

Special teams coach whose name I never remember — Fell for the onside kick.

David Amerson — Burnt by Dez Bryant, burnt by Terrance Williams.

E.J. Biggers — That facemask tackle was textbook horseshit.

Pierre Garcon blindsides Cowboys defender


Pierre Garcon — The late block that set off a melee after RGIII’s TD was fine by me.

Roy Helu — The little move he pulled on the fake reverse was nice.

Draft position — We have the fifth overall pick to look forward to.

(GIF taken with love from The Big Lead.)