Category Archives: Redskins

Redskins-Eagles Predictions

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Congrats to SiPhi and Donk Donkerson for correctly picking that the Redskins would do the Jaguars like that. Can’t say I saw it coming. Now they each get to make a guest post!

Moving on, here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for Sunday. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader is closest to the actual outcome gets to be a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Redskins, 27-24

I don’t know why I’m doing this, other than Nick Foles has looked not good, I’m overly excited about the Skins front seven right now, and Jay Gruden has the quarterback he always wanted to run his offense.

(Also, if anyone sees someone wearing a “KC1″ shirt, you’re legally obligated to punch them in the face.)

Andy Peden: Eagles, 27-17

Cousins now has a career 57.6 completion percentage with 10 TD and 10 INT. I think that probably equates to a shitty day against a real team.

Matt Terl: Eagles, 31-17

Cousins throws at least one severely damaging interception, but his fans are undeterred and launch a petition to have the waiting period waived for his enshrinement in Canton.

JP Finlay: Eagles, 30-21

Eagles are pretty good, and still haven’t fully clicked. The aqua-blue haze from the Jaguars game is hard to see out of, but the Skins front wont get to Foles like they did Henne. Cousins throws a big pick (like Terl said), Skins lose but look decent.

Jack Kogod: Eagles, 27-20

I’ll take Philly and the under.

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 27-24

No one runs the Dalton Coast offense better than living legend Kirk Cousins. (Or, you know, Andy Dalton.)

Todd Davis: Eagles, 28-13

Nothing to see here and the Cousins/Dalton nonsense crashes immediately. And I second punching KC1 wearers.

Composite prediction: Eagles, 27-20

The One Constant Has Been FroMo

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Just sharing a little statistical oddity that I noticed. From the division-winning 2012 season to the shit-stained ’13 and now into ’14, the one constant, the one Redskin who has played at a high and steady level through the ups and downs, is Alfred Morris:

2012: 16 G, 1,613 YD, 4.8 AVG, 13 TD, 4 FUM
2013: 16 G, 1,275 YS, 4.6 AVG, 7 TD, 5 FUM
2014 (projected), 16 G, 1,408 YDS, 4.9 AVG, 16 TD, 0 FUM

That’s pretty awesome, and good for an average of 90 rushing yards per game through 34 career games. If that doesn’t sound like a lot, know that it’s sixth-best all time, right between Eric Dickerson and Walter Payton. (Two spots ahead of Clinton Portis!)

Not bad for a 173rd overall pick who was a throw-in for Donovan McNabb. Go, FroMo, go.

How Good Is Kirk Cousins?

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I think most of us are a little high on Kirk Cousins coming off of his pinch-hit performance against Jacksonville. Maybe pump the brakes on that, though (via Bill Barnwell):

Of the 47 quarterbacks who threw 200 passes or more in the regular season and playoffs between 2012 and 2013, Cousins was 43rd in completion percentage and yards per attempt, 44th in passer rating, and 46th in interception rate. His rate numbers are an almost exact duplicate for Mark Sanchez’s final season as the starter in New York, when he completed 54.3 percent of his passes and averaged 6.4 yards per attempt. Cousins turns the ball over more frequently than Sanchez did that final year, and he didn’t even get attacked by any offensive linemen.

Mark Sanchez! That’s even worse than my go-to comp for Cousins, which is “poor man’s Andy Dalton.” It’s an even further cry from, say, young Matt Hasselbeck, which seems like the best-case scenario. I’m curious to get a gauge for what Redskins fans think, though …

Redskins-Jaguars Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following every Washington game. This time, a 41-10 win over Jacksonville.


Kirk Cousins. Made sports talk radio callers the happiest people in the D.C. area this morning. Completed 66 percent of his passes for 250 yards and a pair of TDs with no turnovers. This happened against the Jaguars. This Sunday against Philly will be an actual test.

Ryan Kerrigan. Four sacks, generally unstoppable all day.

The Running Game. Morris/Redd/Helu combined for 128 yards and three touchdowns with Griffin and Andre Roberts throwing in another 41 yards. As a team, they averaged 4.5 yards per carry with 191 total on the ground.

Jason Hatcher. Seemed to be in the backfield all game, had 1.5 sacks of his own.

Chris Baker. Played great at his natural nose tackle position, danced even better after the game.

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Redskins-Jaguars Predictions


So Week 1 was fun … not! (That was a not joke.)

Congrats to ODA for correctly picking that the Texans would ruin our opening game. Now he gets a guest post!

Moving on, here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for Sunday. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader is closest to the actual outcome gets to be a published author on this here weblog.

Jack Kogod: Jaguars, 20-17


Matt Terl: Redskins, 24-21

An angry, embarrassed DC squad jumps out to a big lead, then tries to hold on to it and almost fails. This will be yet another borderline unwatchable game.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 24-16

Redskins win and perform relatively well. A lot of Alfred Morris against a stubborn Jax defense. Chad Henne gets beat up by Washington D.

PS – Remember we thought special teams had nowhere to go but up?

Chris Mottram: Redskins, 20-10

Without looking, I could name one player on the Jaguars, and he isn’t a starter (Blake Bortles). This surely bodes well for Washington. Skins win a game that no one should be forced to watch.

Andy Peden: Redskins, 23-18

It’s too early in the year for this thing to completely come of the tracks. That happens after the Eagles and Giants games.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 23-17

Original Americans fix specials and don’t fumble inside the 10, which is nice.

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 20-13

This has to be one of the worst, most uninteresting possible matchups in the NFL. I shudder to think who the broadcast duo will be.

Composite prediction: Redskins, 22-16

Redskins-Texans Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time, a 17-6 loss at Houston to fall to 0-1.


Alfred Morris — Typical FroMo. 14 carries, 91 yards.

Pierre Garcon — Still a beast. 10 catches, 77 yards.

Ryan Kerrigan — Stripping Arian Foster inside the 10 was a sorely needed big play.

Jason Hatcher — Notched a real nice sack in his Skins debut.

Keenan Robinson — I don’t know if he actually played well or not, but it was his first career start and he got his name called quite a bit on the broadcast. Recovered a fumble and made a nice special teams tackle too. Seems like a swell guy.

Tress Way — Did you know our punter’s name is Tress Way? Averaged 49.2 per on five punts.

Ryan Fitzpatrick’s beard — Puts Jayson Werth’s to shame. Not bad, Harvard.

The 49ers — Thank you for what you did to Dallas.


Jay Gruden — I was hoping for an electrifying debut like the one Shanahan had two years ago, but yeah, that didn’t happen. The good news is the Skins outplayed ‘em, picking up more total yards, first downs and time of possession. The bad news is they did a ton of stupid shit, from penalties to turnovers to special teams gaffes to burnt timeouts to bad challenges. Humble beginning.

Ben Kowitca — One year after the Redskins special teams unit was one of the worst ever, they allowed not only a blocked extra point but a blocked punt for a TD. HOLY SHIT. I don’t know anything about new ST coach Ben Kowitca, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he was in Bruce Allen’s frat or something.

Whoever was blocking JJ Watt — Tyler Polumbus? Chris Chester? K. Lichtensteiger? All of the above? Other? IDK, it never actually happened.

Bacarri Rambo — Got all turned around and lost on DeAndre Hopkins’ 76-yard TD. Safety is a problem.

Jordan Reed Strained hamstring on his first catch of the season. Fantastic!

Barry Cofield — Left with a high ankle sprain and was seen in a walking boot after the game.

Nile Paul — Had a huge catch-and-run, only to fumble inside the 10.

Santana Moss — Weird seeing him as a healthy inactive. Ryan Grant, the guy who took his spot, was not targeted.

Roy Helu — Got some action in the backfield, and did something with it (six touches, 61 yards), but also let his man fly right by him on that blocked punt, which was good for -7 points.

DeAngelo Hall – Picked up a very D. Hall unnecessary roughness penalty, pushing a receiver who had a caught a ball on him and was already on the ground back onto the ground, after the whistle.

Andre Johnson — Passed Art Monk for 16th in all-time receiving yards. Nobody passes Art Monk in anything.

David Diehl — The latest talking meat puppet to step off of the NFL factory line and into Fox’s broadcast rotation. I’d call him Capt. Obvious, but that implies a minimum level of competence. Specializes in awkward silences, repeating himself and heavy breathing.


Robert Griffin III — Accurate on the short stuff and didn’t turn it over except for the botched handoff. Didn’t look sharp diagnosing the pass rush, and just didn’t seem dangerous with the ball. The line was a wreck, and I’m not sure we could’ve expected much better than what we got. If Andre Roberts stays in bounds on that one deep ball, which I think he should have, RGIII’s looking at 81% completion percentage and 300+ yards.

Jim Haslett — I’m not sure if it was the Skins D that played well or the Texans O that played poorly. Houston fans are probably saying the same thing in reverse.

Kai Forbath — His kickoffs were going to the back of the end zone, which was nice.

Darrel Young — Accidentally tackled Roberts on a punt return. Vultured a rushing TD from FroMo.

Andre Roberts – Pretty lackluster debut. Thought he should’ve stayed in bounds on that deep first half pass. Did average 28 yards on kick returns and 18 on punts.

DeSean Jackson — Caught 8 short passes on 9 targets in his Skins debut. Also lined up at RB a couple times. Mildly exciting.

Redskins-Texans Open Thread

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What’s an RGIII-infused Jay Gruden offense/Jay Gruden offense-infused RGIII going to look like? How will Trent Williams handle Jadeveon Clowney? How many offensive lineman does it take to stop JJ Watt? Will DeSean Jackson break a big one? Is it possible that Jim Haslett isn’t shitty after all? Is special teams going to be the same old crippling handicap? Can this season possibly be any worse?

I don’t know, but I’m genuinely excited to find out, for Week 1 at least. So pull up your craft beer and pulled pork BBQ nachos, or what have you, and watch this game with us. Comments below.

Kickoff: 1 p.m. ET
Line: Redskins 3 (O/U 44.5)
Our prediction: Texans, 21-20

PS: Here’s a good pregame read from Dave “Ride Around” Sheinin.

Redskins-Texans Predictions


And we’re back! Here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for Sunday’s season opener. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader is closest to the actual outcome wins a guest post on this here weblog.

Jack Kogod: Redskins, 27-24

Just enough hope to get us through to the next week.

Matt Terl: Texans, 27-17

The Houston defense annihilates the right side of the Washington offensive line. As a result, RG3 looks terrible. As a result of THAT, we get a week of talk radio apocalypse as everyone with a phone inexplicably demands a switch to Kirk Cousins. SO GLAD FOOTBALL IS BACK, YOU GUYS!

JP Finlay: Texans, 20-16

This will be close to the number (Hou -3). Skins move the ball but can’t score TDs. Texans score on a sack strip fumble return. Keenan Robinson with 10+ tackles.
Alfred > Arian
DeSean > Pierre
Clowney > Polumbus

Chris Mottram: Texans, 23-13

Why would I have any reason to believe Washington can go on the road and win with their shitty offensive line against the likes of J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney? Let’s just hope RGIII makes it out with all his limbs intact.

Andy Peden: Redskins, 24-16

Gruden busts out just enough read option and rollouts for RGIII to be comfortable away from the pocket.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 17-16

Somehow they pull this out, but the offense continues to look awful. No major gaffes on specials will help.

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 23-17

Who’s got two thumbs and is fired up for Jay Gruden’s debut?! Yeah, everyone, I suppose. That’s the kind of enthusiasm you get coming off of a three-win season when the hope is a .500 record and healthy QB. Good thing is, Houston is coming off of a two-win season, which is to say we have a chance.

Composite prediction: Texans, 21-20

Redskins-Buccaneers Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games, this time a game against the Buccaneers that existed, but really who’s going to quote the score or brag about a fourth preseason game.



All of us. Preseason is over, everyone. We made it. RG3 didn’t burst into flames. Trent Williams is still going strong. Nothing horrible happened to any starters. Next time we see this football team take the field, it will be for a real game. Great job, everyone. Way to stay tough.

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