Category Archives: Redskins

Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a soggy, glorious 23-20 win over Philly.

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Kirk Cousins — Like most middling, inconsistent quarterbacks, there is Good Kirk and there is bad Kirk. This was Very Good Kirk, from the mistake-free football throughout to the 90-yard game-winning drive at the end. It was a tantalizing glimpse of what we hope will be the future, but we’d like to see him do it again next week. (Bonus points for the burgundy suit.)

Pierre Garcon — Continues an odd season of very short receptions (only nine yards/catch), but that touchdown at the end was so impressive. A great moment for him, and a ray of light for the franchise.

Jamison Crowder — Led the team in targets with 12 (no one else had more than eight). Seems to have supplanted Andre Roberts as the slot guy, and rightfully so.

Alfred Morris — Only 62 yards on 17 carries, but he reasserted himself a bit as the alpha back, and he was huge on that final drive.

Chris Thompson — Ninety total yards? He had 133 in all of 2013-14 plus the start of this year. Looks like he’s the third-down back.

The Hogs — One sack on 46 dropbacks, and four yards/carry against a tough run defense. That’s how you possess the ball for 41-plus minutes, and that’s generally how you win games.

Chris Baker — Two sacks for the big boy, and a nice celebration dance, which he said was the “Milly Rock.” Here’s how you too can do the Milly Rock.

Trent Murphy — A big sack and a fun lateral-interception of sorts on the final drive.

Bashaud Breeland — He really is our best corner, isn’t he?

Terrance Knighton“It’s a rivalry. I don’t want to shake hands.”

Dustin Hopkins — One hundred-percent touchback rate.

Jay Gruden — As usual, he needed this. And I thought he called a pretty good game, too.


Jordan Reed — The fumble was tough. The concussion is even tougher. Hopefully he’s able to (safely) return quickly, unlike 2013, when he missed the last six weeks of the season.

Chris CulliverShowed toughness playing through a knee injury. Still got burnt for two touchdowns.

Matt Jones — Had nowhere to run (11 yards on seven carries).

Ryan Grant — Didn’t do much, but was targeted a season-high seven times.

Tress Way — When punting from the other team’s 35-yard-line, it’s best to not put it five yards deep in their end zone.


We the fans — Let’s stay this way, despite beating a division rival to move into a three-way tie for first before a Week 5 matchup with the 4-0 Falcons.

Ryan Kerrigan — Finally sacked Sam Bradford on the final drive after whiffing on him at least twice earlier in the game. It was his first full sack of the season. Here’s to many more.

Redskins-Eagles Predictions


As ever, these are our crackerjack staff’s predictions for Week 4. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest gets to make a guest post on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Redskins, 13-10

The rain and sloppy conditions help Washington, which wins an ugly, low-scoring game. The Cowboys lose to the Saints on Sunday night, the Skins are tied for first, D.C. loses its damn mind before having its soul crushed by November. This is our destiny. #KeepPounding

Matt Terl: Eagles, 17-10

Root for the hurricane.

Andy Peden: Eagles, 17-12

It starts to get ugly around here. People start talking about replacing Cousins.

JP Finlay: Eagles, 20-13

I think Peden is onto something. Lotta running and sloppy, sloppy field.

Jack Kogod: Eagles, 21-14

Same here.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 24-23

Strangely enough, but for obvious reasons, I really like Washington given the Joaquin factor. Will be interesting to see how backup guard Arie Kouandjio looks if he’s forced into action. And of course, ROOT for the Dukes!

Jamie Mottram: Eagles, 27-20

If Washington wins, we’ll all go right back to wondering if Capt. Kirk can lead us to a division championship in a down year. Washington won’t win.

Composite prediction: Eagles, 19-15

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 32-21 loss in New York on a Thursday night that was miserable from start to finish.

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Keenan Robinson — Seemed to play well, side-to-side (13 tackles).

Rashad Ross — The Redskins scored their first special teams TD in five years! Of course, the game was already well out of hand when it happened, but it’s good just knowing that such a thing is in the realm of possibility.

Dustin Hopkins — Touchbacks are so nice.


Kirk Cousins — Threw a bad pick from his own 10 and continued to make poor throws throughout the first half. Threw another INT in the second half for good measure, this time on a tipped ball that he tried to force in for a short gain on 1st-and-10.

Cousins-Elway comparisonsYeah, no.

Terrance Plummer — Let RB Rashad Jennings get through for a blocked punt, and was then called for holding on a fair catch. All while wearing London Fletcher’s number. May never see the field again.

Jay Gruden — A win would’ve been huge for him, but it was off the rails from the start.

The front seven — No pressure, no sacks.

Matt Jones — The only thing of consequence that he did was fumble it over the goal line for a touchback.

Alfred Morris — Six carries, and he was second fiddle.

DeAngelo Hall — Suffered a non-contact injury.

Trenton Robinson — I barely know who he is, but he got trucked by Andre Williams. Shades of Brandon Jacobs-over-LaRon Landry.


Jordan Reed — Was still a steady threat in the passing game, but also negated a big play with a pick penalty on the opening drive.

Bashaud Breeland — Had some trouble with ODB, but who doesn’t?

Shawn Lauvao — Showed how valuable he is to the O-line by getting hurt in the early going.

Chris Thompson — Racked up some good garbage-time stats.

Sweet play-action fake image taken with love from @BrendanPorath.

Redskins-Giants Predictions

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As ever, these are our crackerjack staff’s predictions for Week 3. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest gets to make a guest post on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Giants, 27-24

The Skins pass defense has been shockingly competent so far, although its only faced Foles and Tannehill. I too fear the ODB on Sunday, but if the Skins keep running the ball and Cousins keeps not throwing to the wrong team, they have a might actually win! But of course they won’t.

Matt Terl: Giants, 18-17

It is a mistake-filled slog that is difficult to watch, although more because it’s a Thursday night game than because of anything specific to either team.

JP Finlay: Giants, 21-17

Skins keep the game close with the run game. Callahan is a legit difference-maker. But I fear Beckham in this one.

Andy Peden: Giants, 13-10

It’s an ugly, ugly game.

Todd Davis: Giants, 27-17

Respectable performance again, but this game is too important for Giants to have any hope this season.

Jack Kogod: Redskins, 24-17

Redskins win, then lose four of their next five or so.

Jamie Mottram: Giants, 23-17

A must-win game for the Giants? The Redskins in primetime? No thank you.

(If the Skins do pull it out, though, y’all best get out the street ’cause the Bandwagon is coming through.)

Composite prediction: Giants, 21-17

Redskins-Rams Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 24-10 win over St. Louis that I watched on DVR in 40 minutes while handling a 1-year-old.

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Kirk Cousins — 85% completions and no picks? Didn’t know Cuz had it in him.

The defense, especially the D-line — I would like to see them keep doing that thing where they allow only 10 points per game.

Matt Jones — Oh, you sexy, 146 yards on 22 touches beast. (That fumble, though.)

The O-line — 182 rushing yards. Kept Cousins clean, too.

Jordan Reed — There was a little debate in our comments last week about him being a top-five tight end. Six catches on six targets for 82 yards today, on pace for 104 catches and 1,160 yards for the season (top-three among TEs in both categories), so … maybe?

Dustin Hopkins — Nailed a 46-yarder and all but one touchback.

Jay Gruden — Oh my God did he need that. We all did.

Transitive properties — St. Louis beat Seattle last week, and Miami lost to Jacksonville today, so … Jaguars > Dolphins > Redskins > Rams > Seahawks.


The NFC East — The Eagles are 0-2. The Giants are 0-2. The Cowboys are 2-0, but Romo broke his collarbone. Meaning, the Redskins are just six wins shy of being 7-9 division champs!


Alfred Morris — It takes a big man to split carries with a rookie.

Ryan Grant — Hey, six targets for the second-year wideout.

Pierre Garcon — Six catches for 23 yards is just weird.

This Team Won’t Make You Happy

Here with a guest post for making the closest Week 1 prediction is Mr. Irrelevant reader/commenter Sam Potasznik.


Last night, some friends and I got off the Metro, and I was shocked to find myself right outside FedEx Field. The streets were empty, and we tossed a football back and forth to each other in peace. No obnoxious drunks? No mile walk in the freezing rain that soaks through your boots and socks? Oh right. I was dreaming.

I could hear the announcers and the crowd, and I could somehow see through the stands to the field. Maybe the stadium was sunk in the ground? I don’t know. Don’t ask me how dreams work.

Inside, the game was starting. We were playing some sort of Vikings-Patriots-Dolphins amalgamation, and Belichick was putting Brady and Bridgewater on the field together at the same time. It was weird, but it was working. We were losing.

I walked under a brick archway and took my seat in the upper deck. There were so few people in the stands, but they were all enjoying themselves and stretching across the empty seats. A guy in my section showed me his novelty glass he got at a bar in New Orleans. For some reason. It was shaped like a rocket ship, and we laughed about it, as you do. The Vikings-Patriots-Dolphins scored, and I was pissed because it wasn’t Jarvis Landry, and I had him on my fantasy team. Even in my dreams I’m bad at fantasy. We were losing.

We were losing, but it didn’t matter. The sun was out. The beer was cold. Sometimes Alfred Morris would do something good.

After waking up from the dream, I feel better about my favorite team than I have in a long time. I immediately threw out the hundreds of blog ideas that had been floating around in my head. Before the season, I was so fed up with everything from swinging gates, to the racist name, to wondering why we support a business that doesn’t give a rat’s ass about us in the first place. But today those frustrations feels smaller.

I decide to follow my dream’s advice for enjoying the season and accept the losses. Jay Gruden won’t make me happy. Kirk Cousins won’t make me happy. Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen definitely won’t make me happy. So I’m done expecting them to. We’re going to lose a lot of games this year. Sometimes I’ll watch the games, sometimes I’ll read about them and talk about them with my brothers and friends, and sometimes, maybe, Alfred Morris will do something good.

Redskins-Rams Predictions


As ever, these are our crackerjack staff’s predictions for Week 2. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest gets to make a guest post on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Rams, 27-17

I watched every minute of Week 1’s game and actually enjoyed it, despite the loss. They moved the ball, played solid defense, and actually looked like a pro football team! But with the already-shitty secondary even more depleted this week, and no DeSean, we’re looking at an 0-2 start. Hopefully it’s at least competitive again.

Matt Terl: Rams, 35-17

God, it’s only Week 2 and I barely care. I assume the Rams humiliate the Skins again — strong defense, Cousins likes to throw interceptions, etc.

JP Finlay: Rams, 30-17

Gregg (extra G for genius) still has something for these ‘Skins. And if you can find a prop bet on Rams STs scoring, hammer it.

Jamie Mottram: Rams, 24-20

You know, the Rams gave up a punt return TD last week too. Of course, they also scored one.

Andy Peden: Rams, 31-18

Glad folks are feeling optimistic. I’m going to be a realist. We scored 10 points, which I’m guessing doesn’t equate to any wins. Now we did only give up 10 points on defense, but unfortunately we still have to play special teams. Guessing the Rams get at least one return for a TD.

Todd Davis: Rams, 34-10

I’m actually kind of afraid for Cousins’ life against Aaron Donald and the Rams front. This is such a terrible matchup for this team compared to the Dolphins. The first time Tavon Austin is isolated in the flat with the human statue that is Trent Murphy is going to be high comedy.

Jack Kogod: Rams, 24-17

I had a great nap during last week’s game. This week I’ll be prepping some massive ribeyes for my brother who is in town from San Diego. Possibly taking another nap when that’s done.

Composite prediction: Rams, 29-17

Redskins-Dolphins Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Redskins games, this time a 17-10 loss to Miami.



Alfred Morris — Always good to see a well-fed FroMo (121 yards on 25 carries). Matt Jones got some too (28 on six), which means they ran it a lot, and effectively. Scored just 10 points, though, zero in the second half.

Brandon ScherffNeutralizing Ndamukong Suh is damn good.

Preston Smith — A sack and a sloppy forced fumble in his debut.

Dolphins fans They exist!


Jay Gruden — The attempted FG on 4th-and-1 in the first quarter comes to mind specifically, but in-game decisions in general don’t seem to be Gruden’s forte.

Special teams — Of course they gave up a punt return TD. Of course! Not that you need it read back to you, but here are the Redskins special teams rankings from 2014 to 2010, according to Football Outsiders: 29th, 32nd, 28th, 21st and 25th.

DeSean JacksonPulled a hammy on their second drive. Aside from Trent Williams, Scherff and maybe Kirk Cousins, that’s the last guy the offense can lose. So, maybe the fourth guy. Still, it’s a loss.

Andre Roberts — Dropped a WR screen, then quit on the play, despite it being a live ball.

Ndamukong SuhC’mon, man. Football is violent enough.

Chris Culliver and Keenan Robinson — Each dropped an INT, though Culliver’s was way worse, given that a) he’s a cornerback, b) it was right in his bread basket and c) he would’ve taken it to the house.



Kirk Cousins — About what you’d expect, although the yards/attempt (6.3) were down from his career average (7.4).

Pierre Garcon and Jordan Reed — Disappointments from 2014 were both decent (13 catches on 19 targets for 137 yards and a score).

New return men — Chris Thompson’s one KR went for 36 yards, and Jamison Crowder’s two PR’s went for 23. It’s something!