Category Archives: New York Sucks

Redskins-Giants Predictions

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Cheers to jake for predicting the Redskins would lose badly to St. Louis. Now he gets to guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Giants, 31-17

There is still “plenty on the line,” especially considering the Skins have a chance to “finish near the top of the division.” These last three games are a “great opportunity” to “play spoiler” and “end on a good note.” I look for them to use this as “motivation” and lose by only 14 points on Sunday. (Everything in quotes is taken directly from Redskins.com.)

Matt Terl: Giants, 17-14

Cousins gets in and it goes poorly. Gruden says something honest but stupidly ill-advised in his postgame remarks. We all sit around waiting to see if anyone gets fired straight off the plane. More of the same, basically.

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Redskins-Giants Predictions

NFL: Washington Redskins at New York Giants

Congrats to Mikeyvanilli for correctly picking that Washington would fall to Philly in a barnburner. Now he gets to make a guest post!

Moving on, here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for Sunday. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader is closest to the actual outcome gets to be a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Redskins, 31-17

There are so many reasons why this game is difficult to predict — Cousins is still a bit of a mystery, the defense is wildly inconsistent, the secondary is without D-Hall, we don’t know how many points the secondary will cost Washington, and it’s on a Thursday. But it’s at home, and NY, by any statistical measurement, seems to be the worse 1-2 team.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 20-17

Not to be a downer, but once the Eagles made halftime adjustments, Cousins didnt look nearly as good. Take out the bomb to DeSean and the Helu screen, and that offense didn’t move the ball in the 2nd half. Seemed like Cousins didnt like pressure, and Coughlin will see that on film. So low scoring, but I think the Skins still win.

Matt Terl: Giants, 28-24

Honestly, I have no clue. I don’t even know what narrative would be the most Redskins at this point, so I’ll just assume the depleted defense and the perennially awful special teams will give up more points than the offense will score.

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 27-20

I think the most Redskins thing would be for them to win this game and for Cousins to look good, therefore getting all of our hopes up before stumbling to a 5-11 season while being equal parts Bad Rex and Good Rex.

Andy Peden: Redskins, 27-20

Giants will not be able to run the ball like they did against Houston. Redskins will run the ball better than last week.

Jack Kogod: Redskins, 24-17

I don’t know how or why.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 38-17

The Redskins are one of the most difficult teams to support for so many reasons, but by fully embracing their heel turn in glorious fashion last week, I’m completely and unreservedly back on board (at least this week). The fightin’, the cheering injuries, the Gruden throwing in a fat lipper on national TV, the smack talk and the go-for-broke beauty of KC1 was as exciting as Savage turning after Hogan “groped” Miss Elizabeth or Tito Santana misplacing a Flying Burrito into Rick Martel.

We all know how these story lines set up and the Skins are perfectly positioned for a heel’s rampage before the inevitable fall. But for at least this week, the Giants will keep kayfabe and everyone’s new favorite villain (complete with offensive naming and a Danny the Brain manager to give heat to the Skins by giving out blankets and backhoes through the Original Americans Foundation) will absolutely roll.

Composite prediction: Redskins, 27-19

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 24-17 loss to NY.

Winners

Brian Orakpo — Treated LT Will Beatty like a turnstile for two more sacks, giving him 5.5 in the past four games.

Perry Riley – Seemed to play well out there, at least in pass coverage.

Al Michaels — I *love* how pissed he sounded about the refs screwing up the end of the game. Do NOT play with Al Michaels’ gambling lines.

Cris Collinsworth — I’m a big fan of Cris Collinsworth. Discuss.

Losers

Pierre Garcon — What a terrible night for 88: called for delay of game after kicking the ball into the stands(!?), averaged 6.8 yards per catch, dropped two or three passes and got the ball stripped out of his arms to end the game. It’s cool, though; I’m sure RGIII will shoulder the blame.

Kyle Shanahan — Two things I don’t understand: 1) Why ditch the up-tempo no-huddle attack after it produced their first opening-drive TD of the season? 2) How does RGIII end up with more carries than Alfred Morris?

Jim Haslett — The D started strong and but just kept fading, allowing 24 points to an offense with no RBs and a QB who leads the NFL in INTs.

Kyle Nelson — The son of Sundberg grounded a punt snap, which resulted in Giants ball on the Redskins 46, which resulted in a Giants TD.

Sav Rocca — Another 38-yarder when they really needed the field position. May be the worst punter in the league.

Kai Forbath — Kai Forbath doesn’t get to try 57-yard FGs, not even at the end of the half.

Tyler Polumbus — Justin Tuck had four sacks. Four!

Fred Davis — Sleepy Davis sighting! Dropped what should’ve been a big catch on the final drive.

Ryan Kerrigan — Not sure what happened to him; he’s a real Nowhere Man.

FedEx Field — That field looks and plays so shitty.

Mike Shanahan — Two games back of the second-to-last-place team in the NFL’s worst division.

Medium

Robert Griffin III — Weird game for RGIII, but aren’t they all? He was accurate and nearly put up 300-plus total yards with no turnovers, but he also held the ball too long and took off to run too much. Bonus weird things RGIII needs to work on: 1) sliding 2) blocking 3) slipping.

Alfred Morris — Scored a touchdown and doubled his receiving totals (three catches for 27 yards), but was abandoned once again.

Evan Royster — Started at fullback in place of an injured Darrel Young, prompting Collinsworth to say he’s “probably the smallest fullback in the history of the league.”

Santana Moss — Didn’t do much, but I’m enjoying the Santana Moss Punt Returning Experience, which consists of copious hand gestures, yapping, sure-handedness and shiftiness.

Brandon Meriweather — Got run through by Peyton Hillis. Caught a gift INT.

Logan Paulsen — Caught a big TD. Also had a key drop or two; must be contagious.

The refs — What went down at the end was suspect, but I’ve got a bigger issue with the plays that happened right before (Davis’ drop) and after (Garcon’s fumble) the crime. They’re not to be forgotten.

Redskins-Giants Predictions

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. Been on the road since last Saturday, is my excuse. Hope you’re having a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, despite the state of the franchise.

Here are our staff’s completely scientific predictions for tonight. Make yours in the comments. Whoever is closest to the actual outcome wins a guest post on this here weblog.

Andy Peden: Giants, 27-20

Embarrassment on national TV again.

Jack Kogod: Giants, 24-20

Oh are they playing again?

Matt Terl: [Ed. note: Matt failed to quantify the "misery and sadness."]

I predict misery and sadness, in one form or another.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 30-20

Giants might be worse than the Skins.

Todd Davis: 16-16 tie

Really afraid of a Swinging Gate redux, but Giants are just as bad.

Jamie Mottram: Giants, 27-17

The Redskins are actually favored to win this game.

Composite prediction: Giants, 19-16

Bryce Harper Ran Into The Wall As Tribute To Babe Ruth, Probably

Everyone knows Bryce Harper wears 34 because Mickey Mantle wore 7, right? (Three plus four equals seven, you see.) Well, what people don’t know is that Harper also ran into the wall at Dodger Stadium two months ago because Babe Ruth did the same thing in Washington, D.C. 79 years ago. (Again, probably.)

Deadspin has more for you on this wayback incident, as does For The Win. And please spare me all of your jokes about Harper signing with the Yankees once he’s free to do so. I don’t want to think about it.