Category Archives: New York Sucks

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 32-21 loss in New York on a Thursday night that was miserable from start to finish.

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Keenan Robinson — Seemed to play well, side-to-side (13 tackles).

Rashad Ross — The Redskins scored their first special teams TD in five years! Of course, the game was already well out of hand when it happened, but it’s good just knowing that such a thing is in the realm of possibility.

Dustin Hopkins — Touchbacks are so nice.


Kirk Cousins — Threw a bad pick from his own 10 and continued to make poor throws throughout the first half. Threw another INT in the second half for good measure, this time on a tipped ball that he tried to force in for a short gain on 1st-and-10.

Cousins-Elway comparisonsYeah, no.

Terrance Plummer — Let RB Rashad Jennings get through for a blocked punt, and was then called for holding on a fair catch. All while wearing London Fletcher’s number. May never see the field again.

Jay Gruden — A win would’ve been huge for him, but it was off the rails from the start.

The front seven — No pressure, no sacks.

Matt Jones — The only thing of consequence that he did was fumble it over the goal line for a touchback.

Alfred Morris — Six carries, and he was second fiddle.

DeAngelo Hall — Suffered a non-contact injury.

Trenton Robinson — I barely know who he is, but he got trucked by Andre Williams. Shades of Brandon Jacobs-over-LaRon Landry.


Jordan Reed — Was still a steady threat in the passing game, but also negated a big play with a pick penalty on the opening drive.

Bashaud Breeland — Had some trouble with ODB, but who doesn’t?

Shawn Lauvao — Showed how valuable he is to the O-line by getting hurt in the early going.

Chris Thompson — Racked up some good garbage-time stats.

Sweet play-action fake image taken with love from @BrendanPorath.

Caps-Isles Playoff Tickets Are Kinda Cheap, Actually

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Nearly $200 is still a pretty high average cost, but Capitals-Islanders playoff tickets are down in price versus recent Caps first-round playoff matchups. I imagine this is because the Islanders don’t have the fanbase of the Rangers or Bruins, but it should be a good series nonetheless.

Either way, get in tonight for Game 1 starting at $35 by clicking on the image above.

Caps Fan Has Words With Isles Fan. 3,000 Words.

Caps correspondent Brad Parker (@StoptheHats) returns to preview the Caps-Isles series. He’s joined by his longtime hockey teammate and friend LJ, who is a diehard Islanders fan (apparently those still exist). Brad asked the questions, LJ gave the answers. We thank them both.


1. The Islanders led the Metro division for most of the season. Why?

Main reason has to be the offense. The Islanders were 4th in the league in goals for.

An improved defense as well. Garth, who gets killed as a GM, made two incredible acquisitions before the season started in early October on the same day. Nick Leddy was acquired for a very good defensive prospect (Ville Pokka) and a pick, and Johnny Boychuk for a couple of second-round picks. The fact that Stan Bowman traded Leddy rather than Oduya is insane — Leddy would be the best defenseman on the Blackhawks not named Duncan right now. It goes to my theory that NHL coaches are by and large morons. Quenneville didn’t trust Leddy as much as he trusted others, and during their Stanley Cup and playoff runs, he was relegated to a sixth- or seventh-defenseman role.

Boychuk, meanwhile, given a first pair role after playing behind Chara and others, was also deemed expendable for salary cap purposes by Boston, and he shined with career highs in most categories. Ask Claude Julien whether he would rather have had Boychuk or Zach Trotman coming down the stretch. Boychuk is what Caps fans wish Brooks Orpik could be. As a plus, his brothers might be the funniest in the NHL family on Twitter (outside of Luongo).

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Redskins-Giants Predictions


Cheers to jake for predicting the Redskins would lose badly to St. Louis. Now he gets to guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Giants, 31-17

There is still “plenty on the line,” especially considering the Skins have a chance to “finish near the top of the division.” These last three games are a “great opportunity” to “play spoiler” and “end on a good note.” I look for them to use this as “motivation” and lose by only 14 points on Sunday. (Everything in quotes is taken directly from

Matt Terl: Giants, 17-14

Cousins gets in and it goes poorly. Gruden says something honest but stupidly ill-advised in his postgame remarks. We all sit around waiting to see if anyone gets fired straight off the plane. More of the same, basically.

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Redskins-Giants Predictions

NFL: Washington Redskins at New York Giants

Congrats to Mikeyvanilli for correctly picking that Washington would fall to Philly in a barnburner. Now he gets to make a guest post!

Moving on, here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for Sunday. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader is closest to the actual outcome gets to be a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Redskins, 31-17

There are so many reasons why this game is difficult to predict — Cousins is still a bit of a mystery, the defense is wildly inconsistent, the secondary is without D-Hall, we don’t know how many points the secondary will cost Washington, and it’s on a Thursday. But it’s at home, and NY, by any statistical measurement, seems to be the worse 1-2 team.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 20-17

Not to be a downer, but once the Eagles made halftime adjustments, Cousins didnt look nearly as good. Take out the bomb to DeSean and the Helu screen, and that offense didn’t move the ball in the 2nd half. Seemed like Cousins didnt like pressure, and Coughlin will see that on film. So low scoring, but I think the Skins still win.

Matt Terl: Giants, 28-24

Honestly, I have no clue. I don’t even know what narrative would be the most Redskins at this point, so I’ll just assume the depleted defense and the perennially awful special teams will give up more points than the offense will score.

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 27-20

I think the most Redskins thing would be for them to win this game and for Cousins to look good, therefore getting all of our hopes up before stumbling to a 5-11 season while being equal parts Bad Rex and Good Rex.

Andy Peden: Redskins, 27-20

Giants will not be able to run the ball like they did against Houston. Redskins will run the ball better than last week.

Jack Kogod: Redskins, 24-17

I don’t know how or why.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 38-17

The Redskins are one of the most difficult teams to support for so many reasons, but by fully embracing their heel turn in glorious fashion last week, I’m completely and unreservedly back on board (at least this week). The fightin’, the cheering injuries, the Gruden throwing in a fat lipper on national TV, the smack talk and the go-for-broke beauty of KC1 was as exciting as Savage turning after Hogan “groped” Miss Elizabeth or Tito Santana misplacing a Flying Burrito into Rick Martel.

We all know how these story lines set up and the Skins are perfectly positioned for a heel’s rampage before the inevitable fall. But for at least this week, the Giants will keep kayfabe and everyone’s new favorite villain (complete with offensive naming and a Danny the Brain manager to give heat to the Skins by giving out blankets and backhoes through the Original Americans Foundation) will absolutely roll.

Composite prediction: Redskins, 27-19

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 24-17 loss to NY.


Brian Orakpo — Treated LT Will Beatty like a turnstile for two more sacks, giving him 5.5 in the past four games.

Perry Riley — Seemed to play well out there, at least in pass coverage.

Al Michaels — I *love* how pissed he sounded about the refs screwing up the end of the game. Do NOT play with Al Michaels’ gambling lines.

Cris Collinsworth — I’m a big fan of Cris Collinsworth. Discuss.


Pierre Garcon — What a terrible night for 88: called for delay of game after kicking the ball into the stands(!?), averaged 6.8 yards per catch, dropped two or three passes and got the ball stripped out of his arms to end the game. It’s cool, though; I’m sure RGIII will shoulder the blame.

Kyle Shanahan — Two things I don’t understand: 1) Why ditch the up-tempo no-huddle attack after it produced their first opening-drive TD of the season? 2) How does RGIII end up with more carries than Alfred Morris?

Jim Haslett — The D started strong and but just kept fading, allowing 24 points to an offense with no RBs and a QB who leads the NFL in INTs.

Kyle Nelson — The son of Sundberg grounded a punt snap, which resulted in Giants ball on the Redskins 46, which resulted in a Giants TD.

Sav Rocca — Another 38-yarder when they really needed the field position. May be the worst punter in the league.

Kai Forbath — Kai Forbath doesn’t get to try 57-yard FGs, not even at the end of the half.

Tyler Polumbus — Justin Tuck had four sacks. Four!

Fred Davis — Sleepy Davis sighting! Dropped what should’ve been a big catch on the final drive.

Ryan Kerrigan — Not sure what happened to him; he’s a real Nowhere Man.

FedEx Field — That field looks and plays so shitty.

Mike Shanahan — Two games back of the second-to-last-place team in the NFL’s worst division.


Robert Griffin III — Weird game for RGIII, but aren’t they all? He was accurate and nearly put up 300-plus total yards with no turnovers, but he also held the ball too long and took off to run too much. Bonus weird things RGIII needs to work on: 1) sliding 2) blocking 3) slipping.

Alfred Morris — Scored a touchdown and doubled his receiving totals (three catches for 27 yards), but was abandoned once again.

Evan Royster — Started at fullback in place of an injured Darrel Young, prompting Collinsworth to say he’s “probably the smallest fullback in the history of the league.”

Santana Moss — Didn’t do much, but I’m enjoying the Santana Moss Punt Returning Experience, which consists of copious hand gestures, yapping, sure-handedness and shiftiness.

Brandon Meriweather — Got run through by Peyton Hillis. Caught a gift INT.

Logan Paulsen — Caught a big TD. Also had a key drop or two; must be contagious.

The refs — What went down at the end was suspect, but I’ve got a bigger issue with the plays that happened right before (Davis’ drop) and after (Garcon’s fumble) the crime. They’re not to be forgotten.