Category Archives: Infinite Sadness

The Redskins’ Super Bowl Drought Is Old Enough To Drink

Fun column here from Chuck Culpepper, unless you’re a Skins fan:

“Make it 22 years of waiting for Redskins fans, a duration everyone but they hopes will extend into perpetuity, or until the owner sells the club.”

At this point, only seven NFL franchises (the Bengals, Dolphins, Vikings, Chiefs, Jets, Browns and Lions) have waited longer. I’m surprised it’s that many.

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 20-6 miseryfest against the Giants.


Sav Rocca – Recovered from a terrible first punt to hit a couple of good ones, then recovered from certain disaster on a mishandled snap in his own endzone to get the ball away.

Keith Burns – Made it through the entire season, which seemed unlikely at times. (Look, this was the end of a horrific season that’s going to see everyone fired. The bar for “Winner” is low.)

Kai Forbath – Made both his field goals, including a 49 yarder to end the first half, and scored all the Redskins’ points. Did not hideously embarrass himself. (Again, low bar.)

London Fletcher – Tipped a Curtis Painter pass in the end zone into the waiting arms of Reed Doughty. That’s reason enough to put him into the Winners column one last time. So long, LFB. Sorry it couldn’t end better.

Pierre Garcon – At times appeared to be the only competent offensive player wearing a burgundy helmet. It was just 6 catches, 56 yards, but on a day like today it looked good.

Chris Cooley – After a genuinely impressive first season in the radio booth (as ably chronicled by Steinz), Cooley called this one accurately as well: “This is quickly becoming the worst football game I’ve ever watched.”

Robert Griffin III – Didn’t have to play in this clownshow. Gets to put the worst year of his football life behind him and come back (presumably) healthy next year, with (presumably) a new coaching staff and (hopefully) some new supporting castmembers. And without any kind of a QB controversy, thanks to three sub-mediocre starts for Kirk Cousins.

Rex Grossman – Managed to add a new category to The Dark Knight axiom about “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” as he hung around long enough to become the “Hey, why not put this guy in the game!” backup again.

Chris Baker – I mean, I dunno. He seemed to tackle a lot of people. He knocked Eli out of the game. Got called for a horsecollar tackle penalty that seemed bogus but honestly, who cared by that point.


Josh Wilson – Looked terrible in coverage, but somehow managed to be on the business end of two takeaways. Left the game with a calf injury and just had to watch the second half, which is probably an argument for putting him the Winners column.


All of us – For continuing to care, at all. There were things I could’ve done with my life instead of watching this Redskins season. I could’ve played with my kids more. I could’ve gotten better at Rainbow Loom, or brushed up on some cooking techniques. Hell, I could’ve sat around reading old Marvel comics and drinking grape soda and it STILL would’ve been a better use of my time than this was.

Washington Redskins – Secured the second overall pick in the draft, which will be going to St. Louis. Also, lost, making them “losers” by any definition.


The Redskins Media Corps – Had to sit in the rain and cold and pretend to care about the game while knowing that the real story — and, likely, a few 22 hour workdays — would be coming only after it ended.

Nick Williams – Inherent scrappiness unable to overcome lack of football ability.

Kirk Cousins —  Terrible day: 19-of-49 for 169 yards with 2 interceptions and a fumble lost. To make matters worse, as his trade value dwindles the likelihood of another year (or more) stuck as backup in D.C. increases. This is not how Kirk Cousins thought his career was supposed to go.

Josh LeRibeus – Made it through the entire season inactive, which is … not good for a thrird-round pick at what would seem like a position of need. Actually, the big loser here isn’t LeRibeus, but the people who drafted him and the fans who have to sit around and think about all the other ways that pick could’ve been used.

Jose Gumbs – Honestly, singling people out feels sort of ridiculous at this point, doesn’t it? He did some more dumb crap, drew a terrible penalty, and generally didn’t play well. Frankly, he fit right in.

Image via @recordsANDradio.

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 24-23 loss to Dallas.


Pierre Garcon — Monster game (11 catches, 144 yards) to break Monk’s 29-year-old record for catches in a season. Cousins was looking to him first over and over again. The catch while laying down was particularly inspired.

London Fletcher — Picked up six more tackles in his last home game, and wasn’t embarrassed by Jason Witten once. The diving, flipping attempt he made at DeMarco Murray during the final goal-line stand was absurd. Feel bad about that outcome, though.

DeAngelo Hall – Picked Romo. Loves playing against Dez/Dallas.

Kai Forbath — Made three out of three field goals, including one from 47.

Aldrick Robinson — Made a diving 3rd-and-9 catch in crunch time.

Nick Williams — Looks who’s returning kicks now. Averaged 24.7 per.


E.J. Biggers — Had a free shot at Romo on a safety blitz, but Romo faked him to the ground and calmly threw a TD to Dez Bryant.

Kirk Cousins — Sloppy in the red zone, sloppy on the last drive. Had some accuracy issues too.

Santana Moss — False started inside the 10. Kinda dropped what ended up being Cousins’ INT. Caught two passes for 13 yards.

Mike ShanahanCommenters in our open thread were not big fans of him calling timeout with the clock stopped just before the two-minute warning.

Jim Haslett — Interesting choice to not pressure a hobbling Tony Romo AT ALL while Romo limped his way to victory.

Sav Rocca – First punt was returned inside his own 5. His second and third punts were muff-shanks that took lucky bounces. Needs to PSGO.

Keith Burns — The kick return unit committed a block in the back on their last return, when they really needed the field position.

Perry Riley — Got lost on DeMarco Murray’s game-winning TD.

Brian Orakpo — That groin injury did not look pleasant.

Erin Andrews — Why was she working this game?

The FedEx Field turf — Still super-shitty.


Josh Wilson — Made an awesome play to force a fumble early, made an awful play to slip and allow a deep pass late (see above).

Ryan Kerrigan – Picked up a sack for the second straight week, but that was about it.

Alfred Morris — Got carries (24) but didn’t do much with them (88 yards).

The FedEx Field experience — I swear I saw Romo quieting the crowd when Dallas had the ball inside their own 10 during the first quarter. It did get loud late, though. I don’t know; it’s hard to tell on TV.

The 13 Best Tweets About Mike Shanahan Benching RGIII

Shanny benched RGIII earlier today, turning Twitter into a Redskins comedy factory. Our favorite tweets, in no particular order …

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RG3 Benched, Kirk Cousins To Start Against Atlanta

What began as a rumor looks to now be official: Skins coach Mike Shanahan will shut down RGIII for the remainder of the season and let Kirk Cousins play. The news is everywhere now, and the latest shows that Rex Grossman will be the backup Sunday in Atlanta, putting Griffin on the inactive list.

At 3-10 and with Griffin taking a beating over the last five games, the move makes football sense. But considering the mess that has become the Redskins organization since last Sunday morning, who knows the true motivation in benching RGIII.

Like always with this ongoing trainwreck, stay tuned for more; both Shanahan and RGIII are scheduled to talk later today.

Should RGIII Be Benched?

Following Mike Shanahan’s press conferences on Sunday and Monday, the possibility of Robert Griffin being benched for the final three games has been the HOT TOPIC de jour around this team. So let’s talk about it.


– RGIII won’t get hurt. He won’t spend all offseason rehabbing. He won’t miss the entire training camp and every preseason game.

– Kirk Cousins gets to show some leg. If it looks sexy enough, we might be able to flip him for a draft pick or two. We need some of those.


– RGIII’s development is stunted via less live action. As evidenced by his interception on Sunday, he could use the game experience.

– Kirk Cousins plays a little too well, and we’re left with the only topic that brings out the stupid more than the name change debate: A quarterback controversy where there isn’t one.

What say you, fellow sad Redskins fans? Vote and leave your thoughts in the comments.

(For the record, I’m strongly in favor of benching RGIII for the rest of the season. The potential damage far outweighs the potential benefits of him playing in three meaningless games. Oh, and Pierre Garcon. He should be benched just so he doesn’t break Art Monk’s receptions mark.)

When All You Can Do Is Laugh

Laughter is the best coping mechanism. There’s little scientific evidence of why it’s true, but it is — we smile instead of cry in all sorts of inappropriate instances. Freud’s famous example of this cites a prisoner being led off to execution on a Monday. He turns to his guard and says, “Well, this is a good beginning to the week.” Freud argued that laughter liberates us from the reality of painful situations, making it easier to eventually accept the truth.

So, on Sunday, I laughed. A lot.

I laughed as Sav Rocca’s first punt line-drived its way just 33 yards downfield into the arms of Dexter McCluster for a 57-yard return, just a sign of things to come. I laughed as RGIII telegraphed yet another pass, reminding us that he is still very much a work in progress. I laughed when Rocca’s third punt — this one actually traveling a respectable 58 yards — was returned for a touchdown; I laughed harder when the kickoff following the Skins first, and only, touchdown was brought back 95 yards for six points.

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