Category Archives: Guest Posts

Why RGIII-Russell Wilson Comparisons Are Stupid

Here with a guest post is the man SiPhi, who’s becoming a regular.

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After watching yet another Redskins loss on Sunday, coupled with another Seahawks win, I started hearing and seeing Russell Wilson-RGIII comparisons. This shouldn’t surprise anyone, as it has been a constant since both mobile QBs entered the league in 2012.

Their rookie years were arguably the best and second-best years ever by a rookie QB, as they became the first rookie QBs to hit triple digits in the passer rating category (surpassing Big Ben’s previous rookie record of 98.1). The future looked bright for both, culminating in their first-round playoff matchup at FedEx Field. We all know what happened in that fateful game, but no one knew how the narrative would shift over the next two years.

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The Wizards Are Really Good At Shooting Threes And Should Probably Shoot More Of Them

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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Trevor Ariza led the Wizards in three-point attempts and makes last season by knocking down 180 of 442. Second in both categories was Martell Webster (146 of 372), followed by Bradley Beal (138 of 343) and John Wall (108 of 308).

Wall’s jumper improved dramatically last year, so Wizards fans were hopeful about his shooting heading into this season. But Ariza went to the Rockets, Beal broke his wrist in early October and Webster had his third back surgery in late June.
No other player got close to making 100 threes in a Wizards uniform last year. Al Harrington was the closest with just 34, and he most recently played in China.

For these reasons, Washington wasn’t expected to be a real threat from downtown this year, especially early on with all the injuries. Yet more than a quarter of the way through the season, the Wizards lead the entire NBA in three-point percentage with a blistering 39.7 percent. The entire NBA.

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Remembering When All Was Right With RGIII

Here with a guest post for accurately predicting Redskins-Seahawks is Mr. Irrelevant reader jake. It’s good.

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In this time of depression and hopelessness with the Washington Football Team I thought I’d use my guest post to go back to a time when, for one night at least, everything was perfect.

At midnight on 9 September 2012 I was sitting in the Green Bean coffee cafe at Manas Air Base in Kyrgyzstan on my way home from what had been an unenjoyable seven-month deployment to Afghanistan. With access to wireless internet for the first time in months I’d been camped out in the Green Bean soaking up the goings on in the world and was planning on refreshing ESPN.com to keep up with the Washington season-opener against the Saints and, more importantly, Robert Griffin III’s NFL debut.

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John Wall vs. Rajon Rondo: Who Ya Got?

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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There aren’t many doubleheaders in the NBA regular season, so basketball fans are in for a treat when the Wizards and Celtics face off on consecutive nights this Sunday and Monday. Washington is riding a four-game win streak and, at 13-5, will be a heavy favorite over the 6-11 Celtics, though Boston is on a two-game win streak of its own.

Regardless, this doubleheader is worthy of its own post simply because of the showdown between former Kentucky stars John Wall and Rajon Rondo.

The No. 1 overall pick in 2010 has been putting on a show all season in D.C., and Bradley Beal’s return has made his life that much easier. Wall, third in the league in assists, has at least 12 in each of the last three games and is averaging a career-high 9.8 dimes per game.

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How To Quit The Redskins Cold Turkey

Here to collect his winnings from correctly predicting the Redskins-49ers game is JP.

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The “breaking point,” “the straw that broke the camel’s back,” “one toke over the line,” wait, what? Yeah, if you’re a fan of the Redskins and their broke-dick, cheese-eating, high school-boy (thank you, Canadian power poppers, The Pursuit Of Happiness) mentality and clueless approach to organization, you’ve probably hit the above referenced metaphors at some time in the last milieu, no matter how eternally optimistic the sunshine blazing out of your ass would like to say otherwise. And once that sunshine has been squelched and you’re left with nothing more than a singed bunghole and a depressingly unhealthy mindset that leaves you sitting alone in a darkened room, Evan Williams spilled all over the floor, and you furiously spinning the chamber wondering how it came to this and could there possibly be a way out that doesn’t involve storming The Danny’s castle armed for bear or sucking a bullet out of the business end of a forty-five, well the answer is yes, yes there is.

Now the answer I’m going to offer up may seem to some to be even more egregious and immoral than the previously aforementioned scenarios involving death, murder, mayhem and all sorts of nuclear weapons aimed at The Little Fuckface; the solution, a pill that’s so bitter to swallow even the dipshit Imagineers at Disney and nerds at Industrial Light and Magic could never, ever conceive of it.

What is it, you ask yourself that could be so horrendous, so terrifying that it could send both NFL fans and H. P. Lovecraft aficionados screaming into the night and jumping into the abyss? The answer, gentle reader, is turning in your Redskins card, dropping all rooting interest in the team you grew up cheering for. It means hanging up your jerseys, peeling the stickers off of your car, donating your t-shirts and hats to Goodwill. I’m not gonna blow resinous smoke up your nether regions, it’s a hard road to embark upon, no matter how many cases of Flying Dog Imperial Porter you have on hand to weather the storm. The fuck of it is though, deep down inside, you know you’ve gotta cut that treacherous, all-encompassing, all-consuming football cancer outta your life, the same cancer that eats a wee bit more of your heart and mind with every Existence Crushing Interception, every Demoralizing Defensive Breakdown, every Soul-Abusing Gaffe.

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4 Wizards Things to Watch This Week

Welcome back to a new weekly series by Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

The Wizards have lost two of three games for the first time this season, and, though they still have the second-best record in the East at 10-5, they’re now 2.5 games behind Toronto for the top spot, and only a half-game above Chicago.

Luckily, the next two weeks or so should be one of the easier stretches of their schedule. The Wiz started a four-game homestand on Saturday with a win over half-man, half-machine, half-unibrow Anthony Davis (if you’ve seen him play, you understand why he’s at 150 percent). Now the Heat bring their talent to the District.

But after Miami, Washington starts a stretch where it plays the Lakers, Nuggets, Celtics (twice) and Magic, who have a combined record of 20-39 heading into this weekend. This is the Wizards’ chance to make a run and open a nice lead on the rest of the division.

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The 2014 Redskins Report Card Is Not Great

Here with a guest post for correctly predicting Redskins-Buccaneers is Mr. Irrelevant reader Z from Chestertown, Md.

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It’s clear to most of the football world outside of the hopelessly optimistic and denial-ridden rooters that RGIII is not a very good quarterback. As many predicted, the read option was not sustainable both for the physical toll it would take on an undersized player and the eventual adjustments defenses would make in order to contain it. Without the read option RGIII is a below-average quarterback. There are too many inaccurate passes, missed open receivers, bad reads and sacks taken to blame everything on the obviously talent-deficient offensive line.

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5 Wizards Things To Watch This Week

Welcome to the first in a weekly series of looks at the Wizards by Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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The NBA season is long and, if you aren’t hardcore, excessive. The average fan probably watches less than 20 full regular season games, so don’t feel bad; we’re here for you. Here are five Wizards things to watch this week.

1. Bradley Beal Is Back!

This is great news for all basketball fans, Wizards fans and Washingtonians. Beal is John Wall’s right-hand man, and now that he’s fully healed from a broken wrist, House of Guards is in business.

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Redskins First Half Winners & Losers

Here with a guest post for accurately predicting the Dallas game, it’s Mr. Irrelevant reader and “Snyder Sucks” T-shirt model Ryan Fitzpatrick.

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Coming off a disastrous 2013 that saw the Redskins limp to a 3-13 finish, there was some hope for improvement coming into this season. Don’t worry, it didn’t last long.

In typical Washington Football Team fashion, there were questionable offseason signings, a quarterback controversy and PR issues off the field. Don’t forget a new head coach in Jay Gruden, offensive coordinator Sean McVay and special teams coach Ben Kotwica. Unfortunately for us fans, Jim Haslett managed to keep his top job, again. Basically, we were doomed from the start.

The season started off with a loss on the road against the Texans. The next week is when things got really interesting with another injury to Robert Griffin III and the return of Kirk Cousins. Like most fans, I immediately had flashbacks to the Seattle game. Captain Kirk led us to a 41-10 win over the Jaguars while also kickstarting the eventually QB carousel.

After struggling under center, Cousins was benched at halftime vs. the Titans in favor of Colt McCoy, the 873rd starting QB in franchise history. Just when things looked to be at rock bottom, McCoy makes the biggest start of his career the following week against the heavily favored Cowboys on Monday night. And what a Monday night it turned out to be!

Somehow, all the stars aligned and the Redskins played well enough to win in overtime 20-17 (which I correctly predicted); it was an instant classic. Before we even had a chance to soak it all in, the Redskins did what they always seem to do and stirred up some more drama by starting RGIII in Minnesota and bringing things full circle with another loss in Week 9. Awesome!

Now that we’re all caught up, let’s point some fingers at those who have showed up and showed out and those who have, um … sucked. Some of these rankings are based on stats and some are based on gut feelings while watching the games. We’ll just skip over the parts about Daily Show segments, South Park episodes, Ben Shelly, bus crashes, trademarks, name-change debates and the resulting protests. That stuff is pretty boring anyways, right? Right. Continue reading

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Here to hand out labels following the Skins’ 20-17 OT win in Dallas on Monday Night Football is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi.

Winners

The Fans — We stuck it out and enjoyed a classic rivalry game. Through shitty non-call holding penalties that should have ended the game in regulation, through horrendous delay of games, we stuck with them and WON IN DALLAS.

Colt McCoy –- He now has a 1.000 winning percentage as a Skins starting QB.

Bashaud Breeland –- Studded it up. Forced a fumble, denied Dez twice in a row at the goal line.

Perry Riley –- Two huge stops on the OT drive.

Jordan Reed –- Great catches. Continues to be clutch on third down.

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