Category Archives: Guest Posts

The Wizards Have Four Healthy Small Forwards

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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For your first Wizards update of 2015, we’re going to focus on the rotation at small forward now that Martell Webster has rejoined the team. With four players that all primarily play the position and are deserving of significant minutes, Washington has to sort it out.

Paul Pierce (The Starter)

Paul Pierce has been solid in his first season as a Wizard and is likely entrenched as the starter, though if one of the others dramatically steps up his game, he could be moved to the bench. The future Hall of Famer may not take nice to being replaced by one of the ragtag bunch that currently backs him up.

After all, the man won an NBA Championship and the Finals MVP in ’08. Do you think he’d be particularly enthused to be benched in favor of Martell Webster?

Martell Webster (The Newcomer)

Webster offers three-point shooting and athleticism, not to mention a great rapport with Marcin Gortat. He came to Washington with fellow small forward Trevor Ariza before the 2012-13 season and has started 75 games in a Wizards uniform, but he was eventually moved to the sixth man role in favor of Ariza. Ariza of course plays in Houston now, and after a hot start to the season is now struggling mightily. Before Thursday’s game, Ariza shot below 50 percent in 27 consecutive games, so that’s something to feel good about if you’re a Wizards fan.

Otto Porter Jr. (The Youngster)

Otto Porter Jr. was the third overall pick in the 2013 draft and had an incredibly disappointing rookie season, which was immediately derailed by a hip injury that forced him to miss the first 18 games. He never got back on track and his season, along with those of most of the 2013 draft class, was forgettable.

This season, Porter has shown flashes of the star he became at Georgetown, where he led the Hoyas in points, rebounds and steals in 2012-13. He had a career-high 21 points in the Wizards’ home opener back in November, when Pierce got ejected right before halftime. All but two of Porter’s points came in the second half.

He has scored in double-digits seven times this season, and at just 21 years old, his potential is enormous. Also, he makes a badass Ninja Turtle.

Rasual Butler (The Sharpshooter)

Last, but most assuredly not least, is “Casual” Rasual Butler. Butler, the last Wizard to make the roster, bounces around the top of the league in three-point shooting percentage, and he currently sits around 50 percent from deep. His shot selection is often questionable and sometimes preposterous, but for a 35-year-old making less than what Garrett Temple makes, he’s doing alright.

So, What Now?

Pierce isn’t likely to go anywhere, and I’d be surprised if Butler got traded too. Both players are savvy veterans who would likely only be targeted by teams who think they’re one savvy veteran away from a championship. Like the Wizards.

Webster and Porter are the most likely trade candidates, though it’s not as if Washington is dying to get rid of either one. Webster makes the most sense, as he doesn’t really offer anything that the Wizards can’t get from the other three and his contract is excessive at more than $5 million annually.

If Porter has a few more solid games in the coming weeks, he could be shipped out before the Feb. 19 trade deadline. The Wizards might want to capitalize on his value, and if they’re serious about making a run for Kevin Durant in 2016, there won’t be much room (or money) to keep Porter around past his rookie contract.

What Washington could use in return is backcourt help or a rim protector off the bench, but the likeliest scenario is all four remain on the team through the end of the season. It’s a good problem to have.

Skins Postmortem: ‘We Are The Team Everybody Loves To Hate’

Here with his guest post for predicting the Redskins’ loss at Arizona is frequent guest contributor Michael McElroy (@Mikeyvanili on Twitter).

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Hello fans of the Washington Football Team.

According to Dictionary.com, the word postmortem has two primary definitions:

1. of, relating to, or occurring in the time following death.
2. occurring after the end of something; after the event.

Following the Washington [Redacted]s 2014 NFL season, I prefer to think of this post as the former, not the latter. I don’t have much to say about this season overall other than I never realized that hate and despair could be so interwoven with apathy.

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This Year’s Top Five Bowl Games, According To A Guy Who Loves College Football

Here with a guest post for absolutely nailing his Redskins-Giants prediction is RunsLikeDeer (AKA @JGrat21).

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Greetings all, I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. A Redskins win sure does help the Christmas week get that much sweeter, and I look forward to a potential season sweep of Dallas this weekend. I will say I did not see that Eagles win coming at all and I commend the guys on their effort and the fans who ventured to the game.

With the Skins season winding down, I give you this guest post as a little bowl games watch guide. You can take it for what it’s worth, but I love me some college football, and I want to spread my joy and passion about it to all.

I won’t include the Miami Beach Bowl, but that was everything I could have asked for from a game being played in a baseball stadium in Miami on a Monday afternoon. Back and forth all game, double overtime, a 54-yard field goal that would have been good from 64 and a brawl at the end. There’s not much else I need in a game. But I digress … Here are my top five bowl games to watch.

5. Belk Bowl: Dec. 30th, 6:45 p.m., Louisville (9-3) vs. Georgia (9-3)

Probably the most underrated bowl game in my opinion. Two good teams squaring off, but it must be noted that my team plays in the ACC and Georgia is always a team I enjoy watching so this is my only “homer” pick.

4. Cotton Bowl: Jan. 1st, 12:30 p.m., Baylor (11-1) vs. Michgian St. (10-2)

So excited to see how Baylor will play after being left out of the playoffs. Do they show up and take their anger out on Sparty or do they mail it in like Alabama did last year in the Sugar? And who doesn’t like waking up hungover on NYD and having a great game on right away?

3. Sugar Bowl: Jan. 1st, 8:30 p.m., Bama (12-1) vs. Ohio State (12-1)

Was ready to put this game higher in my rankings but just turn on eSECpn and they will take care of that for you. I think Bama has got this, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Urban get B1G on Bama and shake some things up.

2. Peach Bowl: Dec. 31st, 12:30 p.m., TCU (11-1) vs. Ole Miss (9-3)

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Why RGIII-Russell Wilson Comparisons Are Stupid

Here with a guest post is the man SiPhi, who’s becoming a regular.

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After watching yet another Redskins loss on Sunday, coupled with another Seahawks win, I started hearing and seeing Russell Wilson-RGIII comparisons. This shouldn’t surprise anyone, as it has been a constant since both mobile QBs entered the league in 2012.

Their rookie years were arguably the best and second-best years ever by a rookie QB, as they became the first rookie QBs to hit triple digits in the passer rating category (surpassing Big Ben’s previous rookie record of 98.1). The future looked bright for both, culminating in their first-round playoff matchup at FedEx Field. We all know what happened in that fateful game, but no one knew how the narrative would shift over the next two years.

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The Wizards Are Really Good At Shooting Threes And Should Probably Shoot More Of Them

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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Trevor Ariza led the Wizards in three-point attempts and makes last season by knocking down 180 of 442. Second in both categories was Martell Webster (146 of 372), followed by Bradley Beal (138 of 343) and John Wall (108 of 308).

Wall’s jumper improved dramatically last year, so Wizards fans were hopeful about his shooting heading into this season. But Ariza went to the Rockets, Beal broke his wrist in early October and Webster had his third back surgery in late June.
No other player got close to making 100 threes in a Wizards uniform last year. Al Harrington was the closest with just 34, and he most recently played in China.

For these reasons, Washington wasn’t expected to be a real threat from downtown this year, especially early on with all the injuries. Yet more than a quarter of the way through the season, the Wizards lead the entire NBA in three-point percentage with a blistering 39.7 percent. The entire NBA.

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Remembering When All Was Right With RGIII

Here with a guest post for accurately predicting Redskins-Seahawks is Mr. Irrelevant reader jake. It’s good.

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In this time of depression and hopelessness with the Washington Football Team I thought I’d use my guest post to go back to a time when, for one night at least, everything was perfect.

At midnight on 9 September 2012 I was sitting in the Green Bean coffee cafe at Manas Air Base in Kyrgyzstan on my way home from what had been an unenjoyable seven-month deployment to Afghanistan. With access to wireless internet for the first time in months I’d been camped out in the Green Bean soaking up the goings on in the world and was planning on refreshing ESPN.com to keep up with the Washington season-opener against the Saints and, more importantly, Robert Griffin III’s NFL debut.

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John Wall vs. Rajon Rondo: Who Ya Got?

Here with your weekly look at the Wiz is Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

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There aren’t many doubleheaders in the NBA regular season, so basketball fans are in for a treat when the Wizards and Celtics face off on consecutive nights this Sunday and Monday. Washington is riding a four-game win streak and, at 13-5, will be a heavy favorite over the 6-11 Celtics, though Boston is on a two-game win streak of its own.

Regardless, this doubleheader is worthy of its own post simply because of the showdown between former Kentucky stars John Wall and Rajon Rondo.

The No. 1 overall pick in 2010 has been putting on a show all season in D.C., and Bradley Beal’s return has made his life that much easier. Wall, third in the league in assists, has at least 12 in each of the last three games and is averaging a career-high 9.8 dimes per game.

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How To Quit The Redskins Cold Turkey

Here to collect his winnings from correctly predicting the Redskins-49ers game is JP.

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The “breaking point,” “the straw that broke the camel’s back,” “one toke over the line,” wait, what? Yeah, if you’re a fan of the Redskins and their broke-dick, cheese-eating, high school-boy (thank you, Canadian power poppers, The Pursuit Of Happiness) mentality and clueless approach to organization, you’ve probably hit the above referenced metaphors at some time in the last milieu, no matter how eternally optimistic the sunshine blazing out of your ass would like to say otherwise. And once that sunshine has been squelched and you’re left with nothing more than a singed bunghole and a depressingly unhealthy mindset that leaves you sitting alone in a darkened room, Evan Williams spilled all over the floor, and you furiously spinning the chamber wondering how it came to this and could there possibly be a way out that doesn’t involve storming The Danny’s castle armed for bear or sucking a bullet out of the business end of a forty-five, well the answer is yes, yes there is.

Now the answer I’m going to offer up may seem to some to be even more egregious and immoral than the previously aforementioned scenarios involving death, murder, mayhem and all sorts of nuclear weapons aimed at The Little Fuckface; the solution, a pill that’s so bitter to swallow even the dipshit Imagineers at Disney and nerds at Industrial Light and Magic could never, ever conceive of it.

What is it, you ask yourself that could be so horrendous, so terrifying that it could send both NFL fans and H. P. Lovecraft aficionados screaming into the night and jumping into the abyss? The answer, gentle reader, is turning in your Redskins card, dropping all rooting interest in the team you grew up cheering for. It means hanging up your jerseys, peeling the stickers off of your car, donating your t-shirts and hats to Goodwill. I’m not gonna blow resinous smoke up your nether regions, it’s a hard road to embark upon, no matter how many cases of Flying Dog Imperial Porter you have on hand to weather the storm. The fuck of it is though, deep down inside, you know you’ve gotta cut that treacherous, all-encompassing, all-consuming football cancer outta your life, the same cancer that eats a wee bit more of your heart and mind with every Existence Crushing Interception, every Demoralizing Defensive Breakdown, every Soul-Abusing Gaffe.

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4 Wizards Things to Watch This Week

Welcome back to a new weekly series by Mr. Irrelevant contributing writer Bryan Frantz.

The Wizards have lost two of three games for the first time this season, and, though they still have the second-best record in the East at 10-5, they’re now 2.5 games behind Toronto for the top spot, and only a half-game above Chicago.

Luckily, the next two weeks or so should be one of the easier stretches of their schedule. The Wiz started a four-game homestand on Saturday with a win over half-man, half-machine, half-unibrow Anthony Davis (if you’ve seen him play, you understand why he’s at 150 percent). Now the Heat bring their talent to the District.

But after Miami, Washington starts a stretch where it plays the Lakers, Nuggets, Celtics (twice) and Magic, who have a combined record of 20-39 heading into this weekend. This is the Wizards’ chance to make a run and open a nice lead on the rest of the division.

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The 2014 Redskins Report Card Is Not Great

Here with a guest post for correctly predicting Redskins-Buccaneers is Mr. Irrelevant reader Z from Chestertown, Md.

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It’s clear to most of the football world outside of the hopelessly optimistic and denial-ridden rooters that RGIII is not a very good quarterback. As many predicted, the read option was not sustainable both for the physical toll it would take on an undersized player and the eventual adjustments defenses would make in order to contain it. Without the read option RGIII is a below-average quarterback. There are too many inaccurate passes, missed open receivers, bad reads and sacks taken to blame everything on the obviously talent-deficient offensive line.

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