ESPN's Finest
« Previous EntriesOn Zorn Playing His Starters and the Only Redskins Position Battle That Matters
Tuesday, August 26th, 2008“It sounds like Redskins head coach Jim Zorn is about to break an unwritten — and wise — code in the final game of the preseason: He’s going to try to win.“ — ESPN blogger Matt Mosley
I’m not sure how Mr. Mosley reaches his final verdict, but it is true that Zorn Star may play […]
Breaking: John Kruk Is Already Dead
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008I couldn’t believe this when I heard it late last night either, but apparently John Kruk has been dead for some time. I can only assume the fat, mullet-headed dipshit we see on Baseball Tonight everyday is a white trash zombie of some sort.
And did you hear that? “This is a great moment for all […]
Eric Young Is the Emmitt Smith of MLB
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008This morning I flipped on SportsCenter and caught some baseball highlights, particularly Cliff Lee’s nine-inning, no-run performance that lowered his ERA to 0.67 after seven starts. ESPN’s Eric Young was impressed:
That’s right, according to the silver-tongued EY, Cliff Lee’s success gives Cleveland five “formidle” starters: C.C. Sabathia is one, Fausto Carmona is two and Lee […]
Bill Simmons and Rod Benson Are BFF
Thursday, April 17th, 2008I’m a little fuzzy on what the Boom Tho movement actually is (other than, you know, being a movement), but I love me some Rod Benson. And, apparently, Bill Simmons and his band of nondescript-looking dudes do too.
See, it’s been a big week for Rod. First, “the D-League Gilbert Arenas” was featured in Slam. Then […]
Mike Patrick Determined to Convince Us That Coach K Is Not an Asshole
Wednesday, March 5th, 2008In case you didn’t hear, Coach K won his 800th game. That’s just fantastic. I’m so thrilled for him. And you know what the best part about it is? Mike Patrick gets to have Coach K Gives Me Wet Dreams story time!:
Oh, Coach K, you’re an American Hero! And so soft on the inside, just […]
Spitting Image: Star Wars’ Jabba the Hut And ESPN’s Mike Patrick
Thursday, February 14th, 2008Before the Duke-Maryland game last night (which we shall never speak of again), Mike Patrick did a little intro to tell us how no team in the country is playing better than Maryland right now (total bullshit), and other lies in an attempt to excite the general public.
As I watched him butcher the intro, the […]
That’s it, Mike Patrick Must Be Stopped
Thursday, January 24th, 2008If you’ll recall, it was one week ago that Mike Patrick couldn’t keep Paulus’ balls off his chin. Well, during tonight’s VA Tech-Duke game, Patrick was back at it.
Both of the plays in the following video happened — as you’ll be able to see — in the first five minutes of the game, so you […]
Taylor Was a Thug, The Media Said So
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007Sarah Schorno (who happens to be an outstanding writer … for a girl) wrote a great piece yesterday that completed echoed my thoughts about the media’s handling of the Taylor tragedy. For whatever reason, they (meaning the media), seem to think that Taylor’s past transgressions are the reason why someone broke into his home and […]
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