Category Archives: Dallas Sucks

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Here to hand out labels following the Skins’ 20-17 OT win in Dallas on Monday Night Football is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi.

Winners

The Fans — We stuck it out and enjoyed a classic rivalry game. Through shitty non-call holding penalties that should have ended the game in regulation, through horrendous delay of games, we stuck with them and WON IN DALLAS.

Colt McCoy –- He now has a 1.000 winning percentage as a Skins starting QB.

Bashaud Breeland –- Studded it up. Forced a fumble, denied Dez twice in a row at the goal line.

Perry Riley –- Two huge stops on the OT drive.

Jordan Reed –- Great catches. Continues to be clutch on third down.

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Redskins-Cowboys Predictions

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Congrats to RunsLikeDeer for knowing the Redskins would squeak one out vs. Tennessee. Now he gets to make a guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Cowboys, 31-17

I can’t decide if this is gonna be a blowout or if the Skins manage to keep it close. Either way, they’re gonna lose. RGIII returns to lead a 2-6 team against the 3-5 Vikings. The season continues to spiral into deeper sadness.

Matt Terl: Cowboys, 42-11

RGIII plays and it is a complete catastrophe.

Andy Peden, Cowboys, 31-17

Yes, he starts even though he shouldn’t. And that’s coming from an RGIII believer.

JP Finlay: Cowboys, 28-20

Cowboys win, Skins cover, goes under. A lot of D. Murray in the 2nd half.

Jack Kogod: Cowboys, 27-10

Dallas and the under.

Todd Davis: Cowboys, 24-16

I actually think this is closer than we think no matter who starts because the Cowboys run the ball all the time now to hide their own D and shorten the game. But with our current secondary, there’s just no way in good conscience to even remotely hope for another Dallas national game miracle.

Jamie Mottram: Cowboys, 28-17

At Dallas on Monday night. What could go wrong?

Composite prediction: Cowboys, 30-15

A Dallas Cowboys Fan Introduces The Concept Of Romotanking

Here with a different point of view is Mr. Irrelevant Caps and Terps correspondent Brad Parker, who — *gasp* — doubles as a Cowboys fan.

I’m not that guy you hate. You know, the one that can’t find Dallas on a map but still roots for the Cowboys. You’ll probably still hate me but at least I was born in Fort Worth and have been to many a Thanksgiving game in person. So yes, I live in the D.C. area, and I love the Dallas Cowboys.

I also love Tony Romo. As soon as I heard the news Monday the Kubler-Ross stages of grief hit the ground running. Depression took a little more time than the rest, but I still got to acceptance in record speed.

Then something came out of nowhere. Looking forward to another winner-take-all Week 17 game it dawned on me: Dallas fans need the Cowboys to lose. I’m not talking about fantanking, actively rooting against my favorite team hoping for a better draft pick. (No matter which pick we end up with Jerry Jones will make the selection; the guy he takes at 20 could be the exact same guy he’d take at 11.)

Dallas fans need the Cowboys to lose for one simple reason: If Kyle Orton wins where Romo has lost before, I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen to the narrative.

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Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 24-23 loss to Dallas.

Winners

Pierre Garcon — Monster game (11 catches, 144 yards) to break Monk’s 29-year-old record for catches in a season. Cousins was looking to him first over and over again. The catch while laying down was particularly inspired.

London Fletcher — Picked up six more tackles in his last home game, and wasn’t embarrassed by Jason Witten once. The diving, flipping attempt he made at DeMarco Murray during the final goal-line stand was absurd. Feel bad about that outcome, though.

DeAngelo Hall – Picked Romo. Loves playing against Dez/Dallas.

Kai Forbath — Made three out of three field goals, including one from 47.

Aldrick Robinson — Made a diving 3rd-and-9 catch in crunch time.

Nick Williams — Looks who’s returning kicks now. Averaged 24.7 per.

Losers

E.J. Biggers — Had a free shot at Romo on a safety blitz, but Romo faked him to the ground and calmly threw a TD to Dez Bryant.

Kirk Cousins — Sloppy in the red zone, sloppy on the last drive. Had some accuracy issues too.

Santana Moss — False started inside the 10. Kinda dropped what ended up being Cousins’ INT. Caught two passes for 13 yards.

Mike ShanahanCommenters in our open thread were not big fans of him calling timeout with the clock stopped just before the two-minute warning.

Jim Haslett — Interesting choice to not pressure a hobbling Tony Romo AT ALL while Romo limped his way to victory.

Sav Rocca – First punt was returned inside his own 5. His second and third punts were muff-shanks that took lucky bounces. Needs to PSGO.

Keith Burns — The kick return unit committed a block in the back on their last return, when they really needed the field position.

Perry Riley — Got lost on DeMarco Murray’s game-winning TD.

Brian Orakpo — That groin injury did not look pleasant.

Erin Andrews — Why was she working this game?

The FedEx Field turf — Still super-shitty.

Medium

Josh Wilson — Made an awesome play to force a fumble early, made an awful play to slip and allow a deep pass late (see above).

Ryan Kerrigan – Picked up a sack for the second straight week, but that was about it.

Alfred Morris — Got carries (24) but didn’t do much with them (88 yards).

The FedEx Field experience — I swear I saw Romo quieting the crowd when Dallas had the ball inside their own 10 during the first quarter. It did get loud late, though. I don’t know; it’s hard to tell on TV.

Redskins-Cowboys II Predictions

Here are our staff’s completely scientific predictions. Make yours in the comments. Whoever is closest to the actual outcome wins a guest post on this here weblog.

Andy Peden: Cowboys, 31-29

I really think the Skins win, but for this to play out correctly Dallas has to play a week 17 game that matters so they can fuck it up for the third year in a row.

Matt Terl: Cowboys, 27-24

Late pick-six from Cousins loses a game the Skins lead the whole way.

Jack Kogod: Cowboys, 31-23

They both suck.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 30-23

A lot of Alfred and a couple sacks from Orakpo.

Todd Davis: Redskins, 24-23

A late sack/fumble from our MVP, No. 9!

Chris Mottram: Cowboys, 38-17

Jamie Mottram: Redskins, 24-20

We weren’t going to keep doing these posts, but we’ll have eight months to wallow in the nothingness. For now, beat Dallas.

Composite prediction: Cowboys, 27-23

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games, this time a 31-16 loss at Dallas.

Winners

Jim Haslett – The first drive was U-G-L-Y, but the defense came back to keep it close despite meager offense and horrific special teams.

DeAngelo Hall — Held Dez Bryant to 36 yards receiving and made a great play to prevent a Miles Austin TD. Gets the game ball.

Jordan Reed — Four catches on five target for 58 yards. Trucked a Dallas safety to boot.

Roy Helu — A very quiet 77 yards from scrimmage.

Rob Jackson — Picked Romo again in first game back from suspension.

Losers

Keith Burns — Makes Danny Smith look like Joe Gibbs.

Mike Shanahan – Failed to call timeout after Reed’s big catch at the end of the half, costing them 17 seconds and more TD chances. Kept kicking short field goals on fourth-and-short. Continued huddling up down two scores late in the fourth. Not a good night for Mike Shanahan.

Pierre Garcon – Only caught six balls on 15 targets. Got mixed up with RGIII on a couple routes.

Leonard Hankerson — Only two catches on six targets. Plain dropped what would’ve been a first down on fourth-and-10.

Ryan Kerrigan — Didn’t sack or intercept the quarterback. This is weird.

David Amerson — Called for pass interference. Concussed on Dallas’ long kick return.

The refs — Weird night. There were penalties galore, including one on each bench for unsportsmanlike conduct. And I still don’t get how Dallas was “blocked into the ball” on that punt return buttfumble (above).

Al Michaels — Likes to call RGIII “RG.” I don’t like that.

Medium

Robert Griffin III — Didn’t have time to throw, but was running as much as ever (77 yards on nine carries, plus 30 yards in late hit penalties along the sidelines). Fumbled twice inside his own 20, losing one inside the 5.

Josh Wilson — Had a great intro (above) and also deflected a pass that turned into an INT. But he missed on a corner blitz, allowing Romo to slip free and connect for a TD.

Alfred Morris — Bottled up all night, aside from a career-high 45-yard TD.

Brian Orakpo — The Brian Orakpo Holding Watch was out in force.

Kai Forbath — Missed a 49-yarder, but it’s good having him back.

Perry Riley — Picked up a sack. Also picked up a late hit.

Josh Morgan — I kinda like Josh Morgan, punt returner. Fearless.

Bob Costas – Just noting that he used his halftime soapbox to say that “Redskins” is an insult and a slur.