Category Archives: Dallas Sucks

Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 44-17 season-ending loss to Dallas.

Winners

DeSean Jackson — He made yet another big play, this time a 69-yard touchdown, to cap off a season full of them. They call him King Turd up here on Shit Mountain, but if you want it you can have the crown.

Losers

Jay Gruden — Lost by 27 to a rival with nothing to gain, finishing 4-12 with no hope, though he does still have a job.

Robert Griffin III — Two picks in the red zone, one fumble for six the other way and boatloads of doubt heading into 2015.

Jim Haslett — One more steaming pile from the Haz. PSGO.

Special teams coach whose name I never remember — Fell for the onside kick.

David Amerson — Burnt by Dez Bryant, burnt by Terrance Williams.

E.J. Biggers — That facemask tackle was textbook horseshit.

Pierre Garcon blindsides Cowboys defender

Medium

Pierre Garcon — The late block that set off a melee after RGIII’s TD was fine by me.

Roy Helu — The little move he pulled on the fake reverse was nice.

Draft position — We have the fifth overall pick to look forward to.

(GIF taken with love from The Big Lead.)

Redskins-Cowboys Predictions

No one picked the Redskins to beat Philly last week, so know one gets to make a guest post! What a perfect way to end this season. High fives all around.

Now, here are our crackerjack staff’s scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Matt Terl: Redskins, 28-24

Dallas pulls their starters at the half. Washington wins and is way, way too happy about it.

Andy Peden: Redskins, 27-17

Two-game win streak + offseason champs + eight months to forget we suck = stupidly high expectations for 2015.

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Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Here to hand out labels following the Skins’ 20-17 OT win in Dallas on Monday Night Football is Mr. Irrelevant reader SiPhi.

Winners

The Fans — We stuck it out and enjoyed a classic rivalry game. Through shitty non-call holding penalties that should have ended the game in regulation, through horrendous delay of games, we stuck with them and WON IN DALLAS.

Colt McCoy –- He now has a 1.000 winning percentage as a Skins starting QB.

Bashaud Breeland –- Studded it up. Forced a fumble, denied Dez twice in a row at the goal line.

Perry Riley –- Two huge stops on the OT drive.

Jordan Reed –- Great catches. Continues to be clutch on third down.

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Redskins-Cowboys Predictions

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Congrats to RunsLikeDeer for knowing the Redskins would squeak one out vs. Tennessee. Now he gets to make a guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s completely scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whichever reader comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Cowboys, 31-17

I can’t decide if this is gonna be a blowout or if the Skins manage to keep it close. Either way, they’re gonna lose. RGIII returns to lead a 2-6 team against the 3-5 Vikings. The season continues to spiral into deeper sadness.

Matt Terl: Cowboys, 42-11

RGIII plays and it is a complete catastrophe.

Andy Peden, Cowboys, 31-17

Yes, he starts even though he shouldn’t. And that’s coming from an RGIII believer.

JP Finlay: Cowboys, 28-20

Cowboys win, Skins cover, goes under. A lot of D. Murray in the 2nd half.

Jack Kogod: Cowboys, 27-10

Dallas and the under.

Todd Davis: Cowboys, 24-16

I actually think this is closer than we think no matter who starts because the Cowboys run the ball all the time now to hide their own D and shorten the game. But with our current secondary, there’s just no way in good conscience to even remotely hope for another Dallas national game miracle.

Jamie Mottram: Cowboys, 28-17

At Dallas on Monday night. What could go wrong?

Composite prediction: Cowboys, 30-15

A Dallas Cowboys Fan Introduces The Concept Of Romotanking

Here with a different point of view is Mr. Irrelevant Caps and Terps correspondent Brad Parker, who — *gasp* — doubles as a Cowboys fan.

I’m not that guy you hate. You know, the one that can’t find Dallas on a map but still roots for the Cowboys. You’ll probably still hate me but at least I was born in Fort Worth and have been to many a Thanksgiving game in person. So yes, I live in the D.C. area, and I love the Dallas Cowboys.

I also love Tony Romo. As soon as I heard the news Monday the Kubler-Ross stages of grief hit the ground running. Depression took a little more time than the rest, but I still got to acceptance in record speed.

Then something came out of nowhere. Looking forward to another winner-take-all Week 17 game it dawned on me: Dallas fans need the Cowboys to lose. I’m not talking about fantanking, actively rooting against my favorite team hoping for a better draft pick. (No matter which pick we end up with Jerry Jones will make the selection; the guy he takes at 20 could be the exact same guy he’d take at 11.)

Dallas fans need the Cowboys to lose for one simple reason: If Kyle Orton wins where Romo has lost before, I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen to the narrative.

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Redskins-Cowboys Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This one a 24-23 loss to Dallas.

Winners

Pierre Garcon — Monster game (11 catches, 144 yards) to break Monk’s 29-year-old record for catches in a season. Cousins was looking to him first over and over again. The catch while laying down was particularly inspired.

London Fletcher — Picked up six more tackles in his last home game, and wasn’t embarrassed by Jason Witten once. The diving, flipping attempt he made at DeMarco Murray during the final goal-line stand was absurd. Feel bad about that outcome, though.

DeAngelo Hall — Picked Romo. Loves playing against Dez/Dallas.

Kai Forbath — Made three out of three field goals, including one from 47.

Aldrick Robinson — Made a diving 3rd-and-9 catch in crunch time.

Nick Williams — Looks who’s returning kicks now. Averaged 24.7 per.

Losers

E.J. Biggers — Had a free shot at Romo on a safety blitz, but Romo faked him to the ground and calmly threw a TD to Dez Bryant.

Kirk Cousins — Sloppy in the red zone, sloppy on the last drive. Had some accuracy issues too.

Santana Moss — False started inside the 10. Kinda dropped what ended up being Cousins’ INT. Caught two passes for 13 yards.

Mike ShanahanCommenters in our open thread were not big fans of him calling timeout with the clock stopped just before the two-minute warning.

Jim Haslett — Interesting choice to not pressure a hobbling Tony Romo AT ALL while Romo limped his way to victory.

Sav Rocca — First punt was returned inside his own 5. His second and third punts were muff-shanks that took lucky bounces. Needs to PSGO.

Keith Burns — The kick return unit committed a block in the back on their last return, when they really needed the field position.

Perry Riley — Got lost on DeMarco Murray’s game-winning TD.

Brian Orakpo — That groin injury did not look pleasant.

Erin Andrews — Why was she working this game?

The FedEx Field turf — Still super-shitty.

Medium

Josh Wilson — Made an awesome play to force a fumble early, made an awful play to slip and allow a deep pass late (see above).

Ryan Kerrigan — Picked up a sack for the second straight week, but that was about it.

Alfred Morris — Got carries (24) but didn’t do much with them (88 yards).

The FedEx Field experience — I swear I saw Romo quieting the crowd when Dallas had the ball inside their own 10 during the first quarter. It did get loud late, though. I don’t know; it’s hard to tell on TV.