Who Should We Root For Now?

With the Skins out of the playoffs, there’s a good chance you don’t really give a shit about the rest of the postseason. But it’s still NFL football, and you’re still gonna watch. So you might as well try to come up with some half-baked rooting interests. We’re here to help.

In order of least to most rootable:

Patriots. I would throw my support behind an NFC East rival before I’d root for New England. In fact, I did last February.

Texans. I don’t think I can stand to watch another Texans game after last weekend. Also: From Texas.

Seahawks. Much like the Cardinals after the Nats’ meltdown, I want nothing more than for Seattle to be completely and totally embarrassed. Plus, Matt Ufford — the Internet’s Seahawks fan — wrote 20 reasons to hate the Redskins, which included calling me a “bitch-fighting child.” I still don’t know what that is, but I TAKE OFFENSE.

49ers. I’m not sure you’ve adequately considered the RETURN TO GLORY bullshit we’d hear for two weeks if S.F. makes the Super Bowl. It’ll be Notre Dame 2.0. And their loyal fans from across the country who have never stepped foot in California but “have liked them since I was a little kid” will come out in force and you’ll remember why you hate this franchise: They’re the Dallas Cowboys of the West.

Ravens. I realize this is a controversial thing to say ’round these parts, but I really have no issues with the Ravens. I’m neutral on them. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a Ravens fan, so I have no personal experiences which would lead me to dislike the team. I love Ray Lewis. I love Joe Flacco’s inflated sense of self-worth. I think Ray Rice is awesome. And John Harbaugh is by far the least obnoxious Harbaugh. Baltimore would be my lesser of two evils in a lot of current playoff scenarios.

Falcons. The only thing keeping me from fully endorsing Atlanta is the thought of their fans all doing the arm chop thing and yelling “BARVES” during baseball season. That aside, it’s a pretty likable team, and one that’s never won a damn thing, so they sorta deserve it.

Packers. Sure, they just won the Super Bowl two years ago, but they still provide a great viewing experience (unless facing Joe Webb), and would be an awesome matchup against most of the AFC teams.

Broncos. We can be cynical about the media’s fawning over Manning, but a Peyton-led offense is a very fun thing to watch. A Denver-Green Bay Super Bowl would probably be a classic. In fact, fellow SBN Bro Andy Hutchins ranked it No. 1 out of 36 possible SB matchups before the playoffs started. I tend to agree.

18 thoughts on “Who Should We Root For Now?”

  1. I’m hoping for a scenario where the NFC Championship is played outdoors. I hate domes. Using the same logic, go Broncos. Their uniforms may still suck, but at least they wear orange again. Also, San Francisco and Denver are great cities. I’m ambivalent about the Ravens too for the most part too.

  2. Since the Steelers aren’t even in the tourney, I have more hate to spread around. Agree with Pats #1 stupid-heads, but will put Seahawks at #2 for obvious reasons. I don’t really understand the Texans hate, Chris. But hate need not be justified, I guess.

  3. Yeah, I don’t understand the Texans hate at all.

    In fact, they’re the postseason team I’m rooting for, and I’m using the following rational:

    1) Andre Johnson is as classy as any NFL player can get. Great guy that’s going on double-digit years in the NFL, and he’s stayed on one team. Give the man a ring!

    2) They might be from Texas, but I know they don’t like the Cowboys. In fact, I think the Cowboys and Texans have a decent rivalry going. I always love it when the Cowboys aren’t successful in our division, and it would make it all the sweeter if they weren’t the most successful team in their own state. I’d put the Texans in the top 3 teams Cowboys fans are rooting against this postseason. That alone makes me want to root for them.

    3) Kubiak isn’t nearly as obnoxious as the majority of the other head coaches in the postseason. I can stand the guy.

    4) It’s very easy for me to root against any team (other than the Skins) that get an inordinate amount of coverage on ESPN. The Texans are not one of those teams.

    5) J.J. Watt is a wild animal. Fun to watch.

    6) Schaub went to UVA. Which I understand some of you might hate, but come on. The Commonwealth. The ACC. It’s better than a former Boston College or Delaware QB showing off a Super Bowl ring at their next alumni event.

    So, Texans. Let’s go!

  4. I know this is lame, but I would love to see Tom Brady humiliate Richard Sherman and the Seahawks in the Superbowl. Blow em out and keep shredding them deep into garbage time. I hate Tom Brady and the Pats, but that is my ideal Super Bowl right now.

  5. I can’t do Ravens, Falcons, or Texans. Each will crap out early leaving me to do this “fun” soul searching routine yet again. But I AM rooting for Atlanta airport workers to pelt Sherman with 9volt batteries repeatedly.

    Can’t do Broncos because I can’t take 2 full weeks of Elway’s receding gums or talk of how Peyton has “overcome.”

    I’d sooner root for another Brady illegitimate child via a Brazilian super model as root for the Pats. But I’d totally watch “Good Will Hunting” on a loop until they lose.

    The only match-up that is any good out of the remaining clubs is the ’9ers/Packers this weekend. Draft scouting starts about 11:30pm this Sat.

  6. “I would throw my support behind an NFC East rival before I’d root for New England.”

    Even the Cowboys?

    Broncos Packers is my ideal Super Bowl. Anyone but Seattle and New England though is my thinking right now.

  7. Ray Lewis is a murderer. As in stabbing-people-to-death murderer. Then there’s this, from Wikipedia:
    Lewis is a Christian, and his commitment to his faith was featured in a Sports Illustrated cover story in 2006. He has six children by four women.

    You should not love him.

  8. The NFL Network special using Tony Montana and Jesus Christ to pay homage to Ray Murder was really enough to solidify my dislike for him. I’ll pull for the Broncos, a la Champ Bailey, I guess. Whatever.

  9. Chris I want to have a reasonable feeling toward the Ravens like you, but cant. Going to a Skins-Ravens game will make you hate the purple camo crowd. Imagine Eagles fans with Old Bay

  10. Ravens fans are the worst and Ray Lewis is both a murderer and overrated. As long as they don’t advance I’ll be happy. Can’t really root for the Seahawks either because well, yeah.

  11. I have no problem with the Ravens. Until I remember that their fans are absolute idiots who wear purple camo and make it their life’s work to tell you how much better their franchise, personnel staff, coach and stadium are all superior to the Skins. (No shit, sherlock! The perennial contender is somehow better than the league’s laughing stock for much of the last 20 years? Really?) The number of “Ravens fans” popping out of the woodwork in Maryland, especially, for their playoff run is pathetic.

    It’s like dealing with a slightly more accomplished group of Eagles fans only 30 miles north.

  12. Cause the Redskins fans that had been so loyal all those years are now back. Washington sports fans are the worst. Hockey is nothing when they lose but when they start winning its the best sport in dc. Same as Nats, sucked since they came back andnow they have a phenomenal team and only sell out in the post season.

    Don’t ever compare Redskins fans to Baltimore or Philadelphia fans ever again.

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