Five Redskins Questions With Hot-Shot Radio/Internet Sensation Danny Rouhier

Feel like reading 2,300 words from Danny Rouhier about the Redskins? Then you’ve come to the right place. And if it’s more Funny Danny you want, check out his event at Jammin’ Java this Friday.

1. Let’s start at quarterback. How surprised are you they didn’t draft Gabbert at 10? Would Shanahan have taken Locker if he were available? Do you care? Also, who IS going to play quarterback?

This is a bit tricky. My surprise doesn’t come with them not taking Gabbert/Locker per se but it comes with them not doing the worst possible thing for the team. I don’t think you can be an informed football fan and not be impressed with what the Redskins did in this draft. You moved down 6 spots and doubled the amount of new players in this year’s crop. I personally feel like they saw the over-inflation in value of a super weak QB class and decided there was more value elsewhere.

These experts, the same guys that told us Jamarcus Russell would be great (Mel Kiper said ‘Elway’! JOHN ELWAY!), are killing the Skins for not taking a QB. They are all wrong. This lockout isn’t ending anytime soon. Any QB taken this year, aside from the normal adjustments to NFL life which have claimed a huge percentage of QBs over the last 20 years, will not be coached for the better part of the next year. Rookie mini-camps would normally be this weekend. Coaches can’t contact players and we all know QBs are in dire need of work to go from college systems to pro offenses. As John Gruden taught us, it’s like going to France and also learning to speak French. So, given the current labor situation, you’re talking about a lost year for a QB so, it makes little difference if your QB of the future is on the roster or not because he can’t get any better.

You also have to look at the record of QBs going to bad teams with dysfunctional organizations. Guys like Brady Quinn, Akili Smith, David Carr, Patrick Ramsey, Ryan Leaf, Jamarcus Russell, David Carr, Tim Couch, JP Losman, Joey Harrington etc. are now punchlines. The thing they all had in common? They went to teams in chaos with no plan and tons of drama. If you’re honest about the Redskins, you have to say we’re closer to those bad teams than we are to GB/Pitt/NYJ/NYG/ATL where young QBs had the chance to grow into success. You need a couple years of good drafting and player development to ready the organization to develop a QB. Plugging holes in the wall with a couple vets and trying to win now is not a place for a young QB.

As for the QBs themselves, I think there was a theme to this draft. The Redskins took a bunch of highly productive college players. Locker doesn’t fit that bill (his senior year numbers are an embarrassment) and in reality, neither does Gabbert. For a guy throwing 40 times a game in a spread system, you’d expect more than 16 TDs from Gabbert. He makes scouts drool and looks the part but so did Rob Johnson & Matt Leinart. I don’t think Shanny would have taken Locker at 10 had he fallen. I think he would have done something similar to what we saw last week. Huge credit to him and maybe Bruce Allen for shaping a strategy for this year that makes a lot of sense.

As to who plays QB this year, I have never cared less about anything ever. Let whoever it is get destroyed behind that O-line (that I wish they’d addressed more in the draft btw) and take the lumps. That guy isn’t going to be here when the team is ready to compete anyway. If it’s Rex, Beck, Orton or some other placeholder, fine by me. Build a foundation and let whatever retread putz you want handle the duties this year.

That’s what I got. I bet you want them to bring back Campbell and ‘really give him a chance’… you hippie.

2. Right, because dumping JC and picks for McNabb was a masterstroke. “The Future Is Now,” man.

Moving on … where are they going to get offensive linemen? They didn’t draft any until the 7th round, and Shar Pourdanesh isn’t walking through that door.

Just because I wasn’t a JC guy doesn’t mean I was a ‘mortgage the future for someone a better organization couldn’t wait to get rid of who I also hate because he did Michael Jackson TD dances in our end zone when they blew us out at home’. You’re still a hippie.

The OL situation is puzzling to me. As I said above, I would have liked to have seen them bring in some bodies before the 7th round and maybe a guy who DIDN’T test positive for marijuana at the combine… when you know you’re getting tested. I don’t know how one can have confidence in Artis Hicks, Jamal Brown, Casey Rabach, Stephon Heyer (I literally never want to see him again) or the youngsters Eric Cook and Selvish Capers. Seems to me like you have to upgrade 3/5s of that OL if you want to improve your offense. Trent Williams will be a solid pro & I think Lichtensteiger might be the center of the future here. I’d be a fan of putting him at C & sitting Rabach because physically, he just can’t do it anymore. So maybe, Will Montgomery can step in but you’re still talking about not having quality starters at 2 spots.

Maybe there’s another move in the works? One of Shanny’s old hands in Denver (Ryan Harris?) coming to town somehow? I haven’t figured out an answer for this yet but it seems like maybe, just maybe, there is some kind of plan at this point. But I think we can both agree, the offensive line was pretty brutal for the better part of last year. Brown played a little better after he got healthier later in the year but he’s a FA & wants to be a LT. Is he a placeholder until the bookend arrives? Because there are so many questions, I’d have spent a couple picks on linemen. I love that they attempted to upgrade the worst defensive front in football with their first 2 picks and I really like getting Hankerson in Rd 3 and can even deal with Helu in Rd 4. After that, I’d have done nothing but OL, tossed them at the wall and figured out who sticks. As it stands right now, it’s the weakest link on the team and needs addressing.

3. You’re right. I am a hippie. Kind of. I mean, I love Neil Young. Curly Q-style Fritos too. Also, nature.

Do you see them making any more Offseason Champs-type acquisitions this year?

Those Fritos are so under talked about. They are delicious and I feel like they get no credit. Why is that?

The cynic in me says that there is no way Snyder can let an off-season go without some sexy move to dupe gullible fans into thinking the team can win right now in order to sell tickets and merch (maybe they’ll send another letter to fans about how well merch sales went!). It’s really his signature move. It’s like the Stone Cold Stunner except it makes everyone angry.

The saving grace may be that the lockout and rules for player acquisition might prevent them from doing anything foolish. This current group as it’s assembled needs a huge influx of talent across the board. There are only a handful of guys that would start on really good teams. That might come as a shock considering we know all their names but that’s the reality. Think of when those pass rusher rankings came out and Orakpo wasn’t top 15. We were stunned but I think it’s accurate. Maybe he’ll get there but being the tallest short person isn’t a big honor.

I’m hoping this year is the start of a metamorphosis into one of those real NFL franchises that values the draft, builds from within, values its own talent instead of finding the big named malcontents who’s former team let them walk away without incident. If you re-sign Fred Smoot the first time, you don’t have to take Carlos Rogers, then you can draft Demarcus Ware who’d still be here. Instead, once Rogers leaves because they didn’t take care of him, you’re left with nothing. That’s the Redskins in a nutshell. So in conclusion, they will do something stupid if they can.

4. Fritos Flavor Twists is what they are, honey BBQ-style.

I think the fan base has been ready for that “real NFL franchise” metamorphosis for years now. Problem is, Snyder’s impatient and Shanahan’s old and already accomplished. They’re not built for this, are they?

That’s the worry that a lot of people have. You and I agree about the fan base largely being ready but Snyder has never believed it. And, to be fair, there is a large portion of the fan base that is comprised of delusional, knee jerk, fools that buy into whatever is being sold and call me a ‘hater’ or accuse me of not being a true fan for not swallowing the kool aid. This is an organization that has won 10 games just twice since 1991, 9 games 3 times, and has been worse every other year. 15 out of 20 years this team has been 8-8 or worse and yet, so many assume the best and take the decision makers at their word without question.

I believe Shanny wants to fulfill the 5 year deal. I really do. I think his grand plan is to architect a turnaround, move upstairs to the front office, let his son be the HC, and then roll around like a mafia don/Bill Parcells character for the rest of his days. The challenge will of course be if Snyder has the fortitude to not be able to market effectively during a rebuild. He can’t sell patience to anyone and he knows it. You can see how far he is away from normal folks by his baffling decisions. You can’t find 1 person who thinks it’s a good idea for him to carry on this bullying lawsuit against a small-time newspaper and yet, he’s playing on the rich billionaire’s jungle gym by taking McKenna to court. Every time he shows us that he’s somewhat normal via his charity appearances, interviews and such, he undoes that goodwill by some stunning affront. You hope someone over there can just keep him out of the way for long enough for Shanny to do some good but we all know what happened the last time an authoritarian coach ran things… Vinny was brought back after a year and Marty got fired. Good times.

5. Alright, this has gone on long enough. Last question, prefaced by my rambling: I would hate to work in a Redskins Team Store. Because what are you going to push on people? The real moneymakers in those stores are jerseys, I think, and who in their right mind would buy a Redskins jersey right now?

But let’s just imagine that you’re bound to buying a Redskins jersey of a current player. It seems like Orakpo and Cooley, all things considered, are the only decent options. Maybe you could go Fletcher, because he’s awesome, but he’s only got a little time left and isn’t really a Redskins lifer.

So, what are your top-five Redskins player jerseys of the moment, ranked from best investment to worst? Also, how sad is this?

1st, I just threw up a little. First time in my life I’ve thrown up from being sad. You know how hard it is to do a top 5 jerseys for this team right now? Stunning.

Fletcher is a great one but in terms of jersey value, how much longer can the guy keep this up? He’s defied all the laws of physics and time to this point and you figure that has to catch up soon. So if I buy a jersey, I need to get a few years out of it or I feel like I didn’t get my value. Also, I’m cheap. Here’s my list:

1) Orakpo: Young enough and good enough where you know he’s going to be here and you’re going to get some production. He hates QBs and loves tackling them. I respect that in a man.
2) Trent Williams: Same thinking here. A young, productive player who is going to be here and you can be comfortable walking around with him; he won’t let anyone hurt you.
3) Cooley: Obviously, one of the most likeable guys in the history of this team. That said, I think a dirty little secret is that he may not be here for too much longer. You’ll still get some value out of your 47 jersey though.
4) Landry: You hope he comes back healthy and you hope that now he’s finally playing his actual position he can continue to be the beastly force I predicted he would be when he was at LSU. I looked like a jackass for a few years which was hard for me. Then, for like 8 games last year, I looked smart again. I want to feel smart again.
5) Kerrigan/Hankerson: Pick your fav rookie here. This is, of course, the sad part. But, maybe, things change with these guys. A young core of controllable talent is the key to any NFL team being successful for an extended period of time. If these guys are productive, it could go a long way toward changing the culture in DC. I’m a fan of both these guys as Kerrigan is relentless and Hankerson produced with a terrible QB situation in Miami.

I’d buy a Torrain jersey but for every 3 sold, he pulls something.

This was fun man. Thanks for the chance to tell you what I think about stuff.

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