D.C.’s Freaky Friday (Feat. Sex Cannon, Fridge, Mad Genius and Agent Zero)

Mr. Irrelevant Writer at Large J.P. Finlay on the insane Friday that was.

When the first bomb hit, I was surprised but not shocked. McNabb played bad this year, and his numbers reflect it. Throw in the 5-8 record and the style points of the losses, something had to give. The way he was throwing bounce passes to open WRs, sometimes I thought Donovan was reverting back to his hoops days at ‘Cuse. Combine that with the hard-on Kylie Shanahan has for Sexy Rexy and Donovan’s benching wasn’t shocking.

It was a sign of a broken franchise, but with Danny’s Skins, that is the norm, not an exception.

Then the weird stuff started to happen. The Fridge buyout? At first I just assumed it was unsubstantiated internet rumor, along of the lines of Morgan Freeman dying. Then the Joe Schad report came out, causing local media to respond. (As an aside, when is the last time the Post broke a local sports story? Remember when that sports section mattered?)

Now it appears all too real. Again, I have a similar feeling of surprise and not shock. Sure, Fridge is the reigning ACC Coach of the Year, but the dude is also 350+ and went 2-10 last year. When you look at his stats over the decade he coached the Turtle, it is madness to fire him. Seven bowls in 10 years. But when you look to the future, like new AD Kevin Anderson must, you see an old, obese coach with no successor or long-term contract.

How can that dude recruit? Or perhaps more importantly, how can Fridge get asses in the seats at Byrd? Attendance was abysmal this year, and UMD just shelled (no pun intended) out serious cash to renovate and add luxury boxes to the old stadium. They need somebody who will fill them up.

Enter Mike Leach, the Mad Genius as he was dubbed at Texas Tech. To me, Under Armour’s Kevin Plank is showing his muscle in College Park, and I am OK with it. A similar situation seems to have worked well at Oregon, minus the neon green unis.

Then this morning I wake up to news that the Wiz are moving Gil to Orlando. This one’s not a surprise either, more an inevitability, and those who thought different were drinking Four Loco. Leonsis might have said the right things, but there was no chance Gil was staying with Les Boulez.

My bigger fear is what they get in return from Orlando. I want absolutely nothing to do with Vince Carter. You want a bad influence on John Wall? I will take Gil’s shoe-pooping antics every day over Carter’s loafing and bitchsauce attitude. Despite being crazy, Gil always worked hard and showed passion. Vince dunked a lot in 1998 and hasn’t cared since.

Update: The Wizards are getting Rashard Lewis back for Gil.

Combine that with the Caps losing streak and the Nats spending crazy money on Jayson Werth? Weird things are happening in D.C. sports. If the result is a blown-up Skins team, finally realizing they aren’t “one player away”, I’m cool with that. If Leach has the Terps airing balls out all over a packed Byrd Stadium, bringing in high-profile recruits in the process, I’m cool with that. If the long, strange trip with Gil is finally over, and the Wiz get some cap space to rebuild, and DON’T get stuck with bitchsauce Vince, I’m cool with that too.

The whole thing has my head spinning. Maybe we all need a Four Loco.

(Sir Turtle image via the lovely @edsbs)

6 thoughts on “D.C.’s Freaky Friday (Feat. Sex Cannon, Fridge, Mad Genius and Agent Zero)”

  1. We could have received a whole pallet of Four Loco in exchange for Gil, and I would have been happy to rid ourselves of his contract. This means we finally have a future. As for Friedgen I am unhappy as a Terp’s fan knowing that he at the very least earned his final year of his contract. Not letting him finish out is a raw deal.

  2. Agreed. All this craziness could end up being steps in the right direction but given our area’s decades long reign of futility I’ll believe it when I see it.

    On the bride side, Patrick Ramsey could be starting an NFL game Sunday and its not in the Burgundy and Gold.

  3. “(As an aside, when is the last time the Post broke a local sports story? Remember when that sports section mattered?)”

    Uh the McNabb benching yesterday?

  4. Hey, The Post broke the story on Gus Malzahn taking over at Vanderbilt!

    LOL @ Eric Prisbell. What does that Scott Templeton wannabe have to for the Post to fire his ass and bring in Patrick Stevens?

  5. Hello? didn’t The Post first report that that Shanahan pulled McNabb during the Lions game because he doesn’t like black people?

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