Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers

WINNERS

Devin Thomas — Debuted the blond mohawk, caught first career TD.

devin-thomas-hair.jpg

Albert Haynesworth — ESPN showed a graphic to Chris’ point, that Haynesworth makes teammates better. Bonus: Got a sack of his own.

London Fletcher — Got all kinds of ESPN love and even puked on camera:

Shaun Suisham — Nailed a 47-yarder, is perfect on the season.

Brian Mitchell – Added to the Redskins Ring of Fame, giving him an excuse to wear a ridiculous suit.

LOSERS

Vinny Cerrato — DeSean Jackson, who was also selected in the second round of last year’s draft, made more of an impact in this game than Devin Thomas, Fred Davis and Malcolm Kelly have made in their entire careers.

Chris Cooley — Showed up with this hair, got knocked out for the year.

This guy — For requesting the fallen one to pound it on national TV:

Jim Zorn — Seemed to be in charge of timeouts, and that was about it.

The O-line — Six sacks, 3.3 yards/carry, two holds on Stephon Heyer, etc.

This guy — Seventy-six? Is that a Levi Jones jersey? Is that Levi Jones?

levi-jones-is-it.jpg

Carlos Rogers/Chris Horton — Not sure whose fault it was, but they got BURNT on Jackson’s 3rd-and-23 TD.

Antwaan Randle El — The fumbled punt was beyond awful.

MEDIUM

Sherm Lewis — There were no discernible problems with the play calling.

skins-playcalling-chart.jpg

Andre Carter – Lost contain on Jackson’s long TD run, stuffed Michael Vick behind the line and NAILED Donovan McNabb from the blind side.

Jason Campbell –Made some terrible plays, but I’m not sure what people expect from him in this situation. Rebounded to put up strong numbers (29-43, 284 yards, two touchdowns). Also, didn’t get benched!

Fred Davis – Eight catches for 78 yards and a touchdown. Still can’t block.

ESPN’s broadcast — Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden managed to not annoy the shit out of me, but Jaws focusing on Campbell instead of the line and Gruden’s Berman-esque DeSean sound effect wore thin.

BONUS

The 1992 Packers coaching staff — That’s a lot of sexy for one photo.

1992-packers-coaches.jpg

18 thoughts on “Redskins-Eagles Winners & Losers”

  1. It was Carlos’ fault. I don’t know anything about football, but I know that was his fault. Watch the tape

  2. Did you see LFB’s weird white eyes rolled into the back of his head shtoi when he is on the bench? Some effed up zombie azt shtoi, yo. The D brought it this game. It was so sad to see. Oi, dis O is bad.

  3. Winner: The fly that was on Tirico’s forehead during the open… hung on like a champ right until he turned to talk to Gruden. Even insects can’t stand Chucky.

  4. Is Malcolm Kelly still on the team?

    Defense played really well, except at the end of the first half where they decided to leave Jackson uncovered.

    I’m trying to recall the last special teams touchdown for this team. Neither it nor the offense did the defense any favors last night.

  5. Let’s talk offensive lineman draft and free agents. Uncapped year? I’m ok with Dan snyder spending for OL free agents, nothign else. If heyer is here next year, someone should be fired (on top of zorn and cerrato at the end of this year). And if Will Montgomery ever plays more than 3 snaps a game, there’s a huge problem.

  6. It would be just like the Skins to have an awful year when six other teams could have a worse record and leave us drafting 6th or 7th. So. Offensive line or QB?

  7. So looking at that picture of the 1992 Packers staff would it not make sense to hire Holmgren as GM, Gruden as HC, Lewis as OC and Blache as DC?

    Seems like all four of them would be doing what they want and all Redskins fans would rejoice in a real GM and HC.

    Please tell me what i’m missing in that proposal.

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