We know you all come here for news from last Friday, so here it is: The Redskins won a 17-year legal battle with a group of
Native Americans American Indians over the team’s nickname. Long, boring legal story short: Snyder & Co. get to keep their marginally racist team name because of a legal technicality — the judge didn’t base the decision on the offensiveness of the name “Redskins,” or lack thereof. (Although part of Snyder’s lawyer’s argument was that a name change would cost the franchise millions because they’d have to rebrand. Wouldn’t the team stand to generate, not lose, ungodly amounts of money if they changed their name, logo and colors? Every fool from Manassas to Annapolis would be buying new digs, including this guy.)
This whole thing resurfaced a topic we’ve discussed around these parts, and amongst ourselves, several times: If (or perhaps, when) the Skins are forced to change their nickname, what should it be? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments so we can add them to our list and put it all to a vote later in the week. Our ideas as follows:
Washington Warhawks. PROS: It has some alliteration; contains political context (War of 1812, what?!); generally sounds badass; lends itself well to awesome gameday hairstyles. CONS: Makes us think of W.
Washington Hogs. PROS: Definitively Washington football; reminds us of glory days; likely the first name you’d currently affiliate with this team aside from Redskins; could start selling the most awesome hat ever again. CONS: Comically unintimidating, although Swine Flu is helping change that.
Washington Warriors. PROS: Strong alliteration; remains in-line with the American Indian thing without being racist. CONS: Would share a name with a generally unsuccessful NBA franchise.
Washington Monks. PROS: Well, none specifically, but this is just how much we love Art Monk. CONS: Art Monk probably wouldn’t appreciate all the recognition.
Bob Cohn at The Washington Times has some of his own, which I believe are all meant to be funny. So, you know, in case you were thinking of submitting Red Skins Potatoes in the comments, it’s already been suggested.
Related: Not sure, but I don’t think Michael Silver likes the current team name.