« DMV: Atlanta Good-Naturedly Clowns Ovi | Home | DMV: Koji and Markickass Kill the Yanks »
Reckon Koji Fixin’ to Learn Him Some English Right Good, Y’All
By Chris Mottram | April 8, 2009
Koji Uehara makes his first start tonight for the O’s as they do battle with the Yankees. You may have noticed his name seems unusual. Your suspicions are well-founded, sir, for he is from Japan. It’s my understanding that people in Japan don’t speak English, and vice versa for Americans, so Koji has taken up the habit of posting a “word of the day” in the clubhouse. With help from his interpreter, he posts simple words and phrases translated from Japanese to English.
This will help his American teammates learn some basic Japanese, but what about Koji picking up on English? Well, the most well-spoken player on the team, whose mastery of the English language is second to none, has stepped forward to help out. That player, of course, is Jamie Walker.
First lesson in English 101 from Professor Walker: How to use the verb “motherfucked” in a sentence. Observe:
There is some rich irony here as well. Walker is not a member of the Players Association because he’s a scab (participated in spring training during ‘94 strike), therefore his name cannot be used in any MLB video games. In ‘04, his likeness was replaced by a fictional Japanese player named Makoto Miyagi in EA’s MVP Baseball. Bet I just motherfucked your mind with that tasty nugget.
(Via Camden Chat)
Topics: Great Ideas, Orioles | 7 Comments »
April 8th, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Excellent usage of “motherfucked” in a sentence, brother.
April 8th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
The only chant that will be more popular than “Koji” this year will be “boo” for Jeremy Guthrie.
“We Want Wieters” might also be a hot choice come June.
April 8th, 2009 at 10:05 PM
Let’s hear it, O’s fans!
April 8th, 2009 at 10:06 PM
He should be talkin’ Anglish.
April 8th, 2009 at 11:36 PM
Markakis is on pace for a .714/81 homers/405 RBI season. Meanwhile Teixeira is 0-fer at the plate, and 100% assclown so far this season.
April 9th, 2009 at 7:21 AM
Actually, Tex had an RBI double yesterday, but I see what you’re getting at.
April 9th, 2009 at 7:59 AM
Yes I came back this morning to post a correction, since apparently the Yankees scored some meaningless 9th inning runs after I turned it off. A-Rod was probably looking on with burning jealousy.