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The Nats Are Tavarez’s Drunk Hook-Up
By Chris Mottram | March 16, 2009
At 4AM, after a long night of drinking, the alcohol starts to combine with desperation and everyone instantly becomes really, really sexy. (Especially yourself.) This mirage is a fact of life that we all accept as truth, but not one that I’ve ever heard related to signing with a baseball team.
Until now. Here is Julian Tavarez with the metaphor to end all metaphors after agreeing to a minor league deal with the Nats:
“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez said told a group of reporters. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”
The team should really run with this as a whole marketing campaign — “Your 2009 Washington Nationals: Because big girls need love too.” Man, Tavarez is sooo gonna regret signing that deal when he sobers up.
Topics: Julian Tavarez, Nationals | 6 Comments »
March 16th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Wow. AWESOME photoshop. (FTF.)
March 16th, 2009 at 2:41 PM
Wait, what’s FTF again? For the Fail? If so, I’m failing to see how that works here, b/c that photoshop is obviously FTW.
March 16th, 2009 at 2:50 PM
I thought the head was too big. But maybe I should just quit h8n.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:15 PM
I could’ve sworn they fired Jim Bowden.
April 7th, 2009 at 10:16 AM
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December 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 AM
[...] Sounds familiar. [Nats [...]