‘If the Skins Sign TO, Then I Quit’

offseason-champs-250.jpgWe reprint this email from Mr. Irrelevant correspondent Andy Peden because it’s indicative of how we, as Redskins fans, feel this morning. Plus, it’s what “Offseason Champs” is all about. Also, we’re lazy:

If the Skins sign TO, then I quit.  I have been hoping Dallas would keep him just because Danny and Vinny are just stupid enough to sign him.

Oh and I can’t believe we let [Demetric] Evans sign in SF for 2 years for like 3.5M.  Are you kidding me?  He played pretty good for us last year and we need DL.

Can’t wait for draft day.  I got money on us not taking an OL, DE or a LB in the 1st round.

Of course, then the email thread devolves into which team we’ll switch allegiance to if/when TO signs with the Skins. Those under consideration include Houston, Carolina and Tennessee. From the look of things, there may be a few others who are with us. How about you?

UPDATE: Mr. Snyder has released a letter to the fans attempting to calm your T.O. concerns.

UPDATE 2:
Chris Mortensen is reporting the Skins are adamant that they’re not interested in T.O. Mort is correct at least 43% of the time, so hopefully this is good news. Also, our “source” tells us the same thing.

15 thoughts on “‘If the Skins Sign TO, Then I Quit’”

  1. I almost threw up when I started reading this horrible, nasty rumor a few minutes ago. Fuck no I don’t want TO on my team and I may seriously contemplate handing in my ‘Skins card if Danny and Vinny are stupid enough to make this move. Shit, now my whole day will be spent theorizing on what other team I’d want to root for.

  2. Riggo is cracking a case of Bud and opening the bottle of Jack as we speak. Oh the things he will say if TO and CP are in the same locker room bashing Zornstar and the offensive line. This could be the epic!

  3. F-it. Sign him up. I dont think the Skins could be any worse off tan they are now. Redskins fans are savvy enough to ignore that moron when he spouts off.

    It will be like being friends with a person with tourettes. You know they cant control or mean what they say and TO should be handled accordingly.

  4. I would never “quit” being a Redskins fan, but signing T.O. would embarrass me. Just see what happened when we signed a guy who was one of the best defensive players last year! Imagine the kind of crap we will all get if Owens comes to town.

    This will show us all the true makeup of Danny Boy. His yes men … errrrr football people … have to make sure he doesn’t bring this cancer in. Young and rattled QB? We’ve got that. Unproven head coach? We’ve got that, too. T.O. will devour them.

  5. Andy you should just quit being a Redskins fan anyway.

    Lets see. T.O. would not wear #81. He would probably not get along with Deangelo Hall. Clinton Portis would more than likely be unhappy the first time T.O. steals the spotlight.

    But im sure CP would be okay with the signing as T.O would stretch the field instantly and give #26 his best chance at rushing for 2K yards.

    Im sure Santana Moss wouldnt like being demoted to the #2 reciever, then again when he is not getting double teamed, or geting the attention from opposing teams #1 corner, he would probably be alright with being a 80 catch, 1200 yard WR.

    Randle El could finally reach his pontential by playing his true position, the slot WR.

    The 2nd year receivers could learn alot from him.

    Chris Cooley surely would benefit from this move, as Witten was pretty productive alongside him.

    Jason Campbell would surely approve of this. Gives him a big target that he has not ever had.

    So our reciever depth chart would look like this.

    Terrell Owens
    Santana Moss
    Randle El
    Devin Thomas
    Malcom Kelly

    Then you have Cooley and Davis at TE.

    Portis and Betts and Sellers runing behind what has to be a better and healthier offensive line than we had last year.

    Im sure TO would also step it up against the Eagles and Cowboys 4 times a year as well.

    So he wouldnt wear #81,and Deangelo Hall might or might not approve.

    If he steps out of line, then we cut him ior place him on the inactive list.

    After basically every team in the NFL has said no to TO, im sure his asking prices has come down.

    If the right contract is in place,to me the reward outweighs the risk ten fold.

    He makes the offense better just being on the field.

    He is a piece of shit. But there is no denying his talent and his abilites.

    With the upgrades to our D Line so far, and the #13 pick in our hands.

    Signing TO would instantly make us a top 5 team.

    Make the deal.

  6. Well I have two thoughts here. #1 if TO knows who the DTC is, and what the DTC does, I would have to say that is pretty gangster.

    #2 if TO said that to my face I would drop him where he stands.

    Hahahaha. Just kidding. I would let TO punch my mom if it guaranteed a Super Bowl victory,

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