‘Dear Danta: Please Bring Us a Real GM’

We can’t give you all the details, but we can tell you that we have an agent embedded deep within the Redskins organization who is part of Operation Fire Vinny, a covert secret ops mission set to stage a coup d’etat to overthrow the Skins’ front office and replace Cerrato with a real GM. (Sorry, I saw Valkyrie* over the weekend. Suddenly, I feel a lot more badass carrying my brief laptop case around.)

For proof that our agent is already working his magic, check out this photo which appeared on the Skins official website for several hours yesterday:

santaskinsgm.jpg

Obviously, with the 25th having come and gone, “Danta” didn’t follow through. Probably because Danta is jewish. But the offseason is long, friends, and there is plenty of time to Fire Vinny. We have much work to do, however, so support the movement.

*I realize that by seeing this film I supported Snyder in a roundabout way. Does it help that I saw it for free thanks to an AMC gift card from Santa?

UPDATE: Our agent strikes again! This time on Cerrato’s Wikipedia page.

10 thoughts on “‘Dear Danta: Please Bring Us a Real GM’”

  1. The Skins have the 13th overall pick. Here are the official odds of what Vinny does:

    Draft OL/DL/LB: 20-1
    Trade Down: 15-1
    Draft TE: 15-2
    Draft QB: 4-1
    Draft WR: 2-1
    Trade Up for QB/WR: 1-2
    Trade for TO/Cassel/85: 1-3

    Can’t wait!

  2. I haven’t seen the movie, but I’m pretty sure that Hitler wins and the movement loses, right?

    I’m not fond of this metaphor.

  3. @Putts: I’d tweak your odds like so:

    Trade Down: 1-1
    Trade Down again: 1-3
    With array of new, lower draft picks, draft QB/WR: 1-5

  4. I got an AMC gift card, too, but I used mine to see Benjamin Button.

    I’m just curious, but will a new GM really make a difference if Snyder is still the owner?

  5. Well, yeah, in the end he does. But I’m guessing that Tommy Eyepatch doesn’t end up too good.

    As for Snyder and Vinny…man, that’s tough. I feel like Snyder, if he had a strong, older guy as GM, would back off and let him do his thing (a la Gibbs). But his blind backing of his lapdog Vinny is just too much. If Vinny wants to manage the cap, fine, but leave personnel to a guy who’s actually accomplished something.

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