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This NFL Stuff Is Simple for Malcolm Kelly
By Chris Mottram | December 3, 2008
Malcolm Kelly, the Skins third overall pick in last year’s draft, is having an incredible rookie season. He has three catches for 18 yards and on Sunday, he dropped what would’ve been the one catch he’s made all year resembling a big play. The pass hit him square in the chest, which was probably Jason Campbell’s fault. So, clearly, this football shit is so fucking simple, right?
“Learning curve? It’s football,” the former Oklahoma standout said Monday. “It’s not really as hard as it seems.”
Please, I dare you: Read that quote again and try not to break something. This waste of fucking space thinks there’s no learning curve in the NFL. And if that’s the case, then this, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, is as good as Kelly is ever going to be. In other words, he’ll spend his career being put in as a decoy on running plays.
Learning curve or not, Vinny & Co. wasted draft picks on Kelly, and Devin Thomas, presumably so we wouldn’t have James Fucking Thrash as our No. 3 receiver this season. This fucking season. At least, I hope that was the plan. Because if we drafted two WRs in the second round to help build for the future with urgent needs all over the god damn place, then Cerrato’s head is further up his own ass than I’d previously imagined possible.
But really, this team’s offensive struggles are all on Jason Campbell. At least, that’s what many “fans” in the D.C.-area would have you believe. Jamie has a post about that specifically upcoming, but let me just say this, and I’m being dead fucking serious: If you think that Todd Collins should be starting in place of Jason Campbell for this team right now, hit the back button on your browser right fucking now and never come back to this site. I think the comments section of La Canfora’s blog is better suited to your kneejerk reactions, caps lock and complete lack of football knowledge.
Topics: Anger!, Don't Read This Mom, Malcom Kelly, Redskins | 27 Comments »
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:00 PM
Seriously. Malcolm Kelly and Fred Davis (still can’t understand why we drafted a TE) have turned out to be huge wastes and this quote of Kelly’s makes me want to kick him. At least Devin Thomas now has a TD under his belt. It still shocks me that Horton was picked in the 7th round and has made the most impact. I won’t even get started on the QB controversy.
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 PM
1. Kelly and Thomas will be good, just give them time to get used to the speed of defenses and conditioning practices.
2. Why would anyone think Todd Collins is better than Campbell? It took Campbell 8 weeks to throw an interception. It took Collins 10 years to start a game in the NFL.
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 PM
“As far as making an impact from the get-go, I don’t look at that as a difficult thing to do.” — Devin Thomas on August 7
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:38 PM
How Cerrato still has a job is beyond me. I seriously would rather have a drunk redneck sitting in the upper 400 section manage the team.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Its nice to see some angry words directed at Vinny who is 100% responsible for all of the struggles this team has had over the course of the year. Im no great Campbell fan, but you dont need a great QB to win games or titles. And in his defense, he doesnt have much to work with. An aged offensive line, undersized vet wide outs, not especially talented/moronic rookie WRs and a coach who doesnt game plan to his QBs strength, with the exception of play calling, all things controlled by Vinny.
I feel Zorn needs to change the way things are working on offense for Campbell to be successful. Lets call plays suited to Campbell’s abilities, or put in the guy who can best execute the 6 yrd WR screen.
Im hoping Campbell just gets fed up and starts calling his own plays. Those guys know what works and what doesnt.
Lets see the offense from games 2 through 5 again.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:23 PM
I agree with Stet. These guys, at least Devin, will be decent at least. They are both really young WRs, a position usually not known for their modesty. They obviously still have a lot to learn as we all did when we were there age. I know they look like shit right now but I’d much rather talk about how good they’re going to be as opposed to hanging their head and saying “fuckit”. As the great Crash Davis once said, “you have to play this game with fear and arrogance”. Of course he was talking about baseball but the same principal applies.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 PM
I don’t think I ever said they won’t be serviceable WRs in the future. That wasn’t the point of this post, like, at all.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:36 PM
Why I was confused:
“Read that quote again and try not to break something. This waste of fucking space thinks there’s no learning curve in the NFL. And if that’s the case, then this, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, is as good as Kelly is ever going to be. In other words, he’ll spend his career being put in as a decoy on running plays”
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Right. If he thinks there’s no learning curve, and it’s so simple, then this is the best he’s gonna be. Of course, he’s just being an idiot, because there obviously is a massive learning curve, and, based on how he’s played, this shit is hard.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:54 PM
WRs always think they’re better than they are and it always takes them more time. W/ the exception of Randy Moss of course. DeSean Jackson has been good but I don’t see him getting much better. I think he fancies himself a Steve Smith type but I have him more as a Freddie Mitchell type.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 PM
fixed.
I think Devin Thomas or Kelly could work out but odds are at least one of them will not.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:18 PM
i think if we’re talking about wasted draft picks why not talk about Fred Davis. 1 reception in 2 games? I know that neither of the WRs are any better but did we even need to draft this guy?
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Davis was a horrible pick, too — maybe the worst of the three — but I had to narrow my focus. I could go on forever about how shitty Cerrato’s draft was. I was sticking to the WRs, specifically Kelly, for this post.
Although we did get Chris Horton, which is cool. But not as cool as having an actual free safety on the team that would allow Landry to move to strong safety.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 PM
Speaking of ‘08 Skins draft picks, Durant Brooks also thinks the NFL isn’t “really as hard as it seems.”
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 PM
I also think there was a Justin Tryon sighting on special teams the other day. He was standing on the sideline when the kick returner was run out of bounds.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:56 PM
jason campbell isn’t great.. he’s just slow.
we need jay cutler
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:03 PM
His quotes in the Dallas Morning News yesterday were equally infuriating.
http://www.playerhatersball.com/2008/12/malcolm-kelly-is-star-in-malcom-kellys.html
I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: That Malcolm Kelly actually believes this crap or that newspapers are going to him for quotes.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:06 PM
I’m sorry, did someone mention Cutlerfucker?
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:50 PM
oh really? We need Jay Cutler? Thanks for the suggestion. I’m sure they’ll get right on that as soon as we get Adrian Peterson, Randy Moss and Albert Haynesworth.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:42 PM
“Lets see the offense from games 2 through 5 again.”
Agreed, Terps77. It would also help if guys like Santana Moss weren’t jogging routes in the 4th quarter of divisional games. If the #1 checks out, #3 and 4 (#4 and 5?) are going to follow suit.
December 3rd, 2008 at 8:11 PM
You’re dead on about Todd Collins .. but let’s not rule out Colt Brennan. He’s big in Hawaii and apparently tons of fun to have at your dorm party.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:09 AM
Dont sleep on Brennan. He could be groin grabbingly good.
Signed,
One Lucky Colorado Coed.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:08 AM
Fred Davis aka choclate terd is the worst out of the whole damn bunch… i will never forgive him for the End around a few weeks ago!
December 4th, 2008 at 9:34 AM
Davis is either…
A. A fuck up with an alcohol problem who doesn’t belong at the NFL level (keep in mind he “overslept” for practice and Cooley says his nick name is Boozie).
or B. A victim of the depth chart which has Cooley ahead of him (a more experienced pass catcher) and Yoder also (a better blocker and salt of the earth type guy)
I’m leaning towards B. I love Cooley enough that I’m still fuming over Prop 8, but he is not a prototypical tight end and his red zone skills are shaky at best. Even when he had lots of TD catches they weren’t the typical “jump ball in the corner to Tony Gonzalez” type things that a lot of coaches like.
Furthermore, I don’t think Zorn really likes him much. I think Davis is a pro bowler and our starter by 2010. Sorry Cooley, we’ll always have 2007.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:55 AM
Cooley averaged 7 TD/season his first four seasons and is pacing towards 90 catches and 900 yards this season. Not sure what more you can ask for from the TE position.
December 4th, 2008 at 10:07 AM
@ Jeff: I’m going to go with option A there.
While I won’t speculate on Fred’s relationship with alcohol, this is Fred Davis out of USC we’re talking about here?
The same USC that produced draft gems such as Matt Leinert, Reggie Bush, Mike WIlliams, Dwayne Jarrett? Still think Cooley is going to be backing up Fred in ‘10?
December 5th, 2008 at 5:48 PM
I can’t wait for your team to shit the bed this weekend. Have fun missing the playoffs.