This would’ve been posted yesterday, but I was too busy being sodomized — against my will, mind you — by U.S. Airways. I do not recommend flying, unless you’re a person who loves pain and you have absolutely no other options because, for example, gouging your eyeball with a rusty nail just doesn’t do it for you anymore.
But before U.S. Air leapfrogged Chelsea Handler, the state of Pennsylvania and a certain question-prone blogger to take the top spot on my list of most hated things ever, I was at FedEx Field enjoying the fine accommodations Dan Snyder provides in his luxury boxes. It was a perfect day to have my first non-400 level experience seeing as there was a frozen shitstorm pouring down on Landover Sunday.
The box also gave me a nice view of the Sean Taylor pregame ceremony, which was MC’ed by George Michael. There was a fine little tribute going on, which featured some pre-written words from Sean’s father Pedro. It was all good, heartfelt, and can be seen in its entirety here, but then Michael decided to veer off the script, pull Pedro back in front of the mic and ask him this: “What do you think Sean is doing today?”
Now, Michael certainly asked this question expecting a response that would fire everyone up. Something along the lines of, “Well, he’s probably up in heaven, wearing his jersey, watching the Skins whoop up on the Giants today.” Or, “He’s starting at free safety today, in spirit.” Or, to the contrary, something like, “Fuck, George, why the fuck you goin’ off the script, puttin’ me on the spot like this and shit? Fuck if I know what the hell Sean’s doin’.”
Instead, this was the response Michael got:
“Fishin’? Did he say ‘fishin’?” Yes. Yes he did. Although I guess it was a good thing Sean wasn’t watching the game. I certainly wish I hadn’t.