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Plackemeier Punts For Jesus
By Chris Mottram | November 19, 2008
Look, I don’t mean to mock a guy for his religious beliefs (note: alright, maybe I do), but this quote from our muffin top punter Ryan Plackemeier just boggles my mind:
“I don’t ever feel like I have anything to prove to anyone,” Plackemeier said. “I perform solely for Jesus Christ.”
Well then Plack, you’re performing for no one because I can assure you that the invisible man in the sky does not give a shit about punting. Maybe if you were the quarterback, Jesus would notice your efforts. Maybe. But dude, you’re the punter. Jesus is ashamed that you took the small amount of athletic skill he blessed upon thee and wasted it on kicking. Look at your frame, you could’ve been something more useful, like a nose tackle or one of those fat guys who run down field at full speed with their eyes closed on kickoffs. Wedge-buster. That’s it.
Topics: Ryan Plackemeier, Redskins |
11 Responses to “Plackemeier Punts For Jesus”
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November 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I wish I felt this way about everything. Life would be so simple. Not better, no, but simpler, sure.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Joe Gibbs wants to know where that fatass has been all his life.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
If I were Snyder I’d totally spin this in my own way; “You perform solely for Jesus? Well ask him to pick your paycheck then.”
November 19th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I bet he prays to Jesus to stop the Redskins on third down, so that the humble servant will have more chances to pin the opposition deep for the Lord.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Less Jesus, more Jenny Craig.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Have you ever seen Ryan and Drew in the same place at the same time?
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/drewhat.jpg
http://msn.foxsports.com/fe/img/NFL/Headshots/140×170/7988.jpg
November 19th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
bust his chops if you want, but the dude had a hell of a game sunday. 50+ yarder and killed that ball on the 1. he’s made everybody forget durant brooks pretty quick.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Jesus brings a plague of chocolate craving on Chris in 5…4…3…2…
November 20th, 2008 at 9:17 am
oh man….that’s awesome.
November 20th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Bad form! You’re willing to mock Christians..but are you man enough to mock Muslims? Jews? Keep your religious views to yourself, if we wanted to hear them we’d all go to hell with you.
November 20th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
“but are you man enough to mock Muslims? Jews?”
If only they’d give me something worth mocking …