Handing out labels following Skins games. Today: a 25-17 win over Detroit …
WINNERS: Santana Moss — The Skins’ big-play man came up huge with a long TD catch and an unbelievable punt return for a touchdown (video), despite being called “Santonio” three different times during the broadcast.
Shaun Alexander — Seems to have supplanted Rock as the No. 2 back.
Clinton Portis — The MVP campaign continues with 126 yards on 5.3 yards per, the lion’s share of which came after facing the wrath of Zorn:
Mike Green — Mr. Irrelevant 2000 started for Horton and made a backfield stop on Detroit’s opening drive.
London Fletcher — His tackle to seal the deal (video) was a beaut.
Hip-Hip Hooray — Fans maintain the movement in Detroit (photo).
Greg Blache — The defense was top-10 three of the past four years under Gregg Williams, and, for the first half of this year, it’s top-10 under Blache.
Shaun Suisham — Coming in, the Skins were 7th in yards but only 20th in points. Today was more of the same as they scored just one touchdown yet attempted five field goals. Suisham made four, only missing from 50.
Shaun Cody — Not a Redskin, but that’s great hair (photo).
Chris — For finally finding the Skins bar in Charlotte and randomly sitting next to the FedEx Field announcer who says, “First down, Wwwashingtonnn!”
Me — For going to the beach, DVRing the game and viewing before spoiling.
LOSERS: Detroit fans — The black-out rule is actually doing them a favor.
Injured Skins — Samuels, Horton, Griffin and Springs were all on the shelf, which is fine against Detroit, but not so much against Pittsburgh. Get well soon, guys.
Stephon Heyer — Filled in for Samuels at LT, false started on a 3rd-and-five and got beat for at least one sack (they gave up three).
Leigh Torrence — Called for pass interference on a third-and-long. Plus, I’m still bitter about St. Louis.
STAYING MEDIUM: Jim Zorn — On one hand, they won and racked up 439 yards in doing so. On the other, the third-down play calling was suspect and they went for two up 12 with 11:30 left. And it’s that last part that kills me. We’ve been over this before, but, unless you go for two all the time, you don’t go for it there. Case in point, Detroit ended up with the ball and two minutes left, down by just eight rather than nine. Inexcusable.
Carlos Rogers — Held it down once again, this time keeping Calvin Johnson in check. Also had yet another fucking dropped interception.
Chris Cooley — Continues evolving into the total package while also catching more passes than ever, though he did drop what would’ve been a first down, stalling the first drive of the second half.
LaRon Landry — Stripped Calvin Johnson of the ball early, but got called for a block in the back on a PR late.
Jason Campbell — He fumbled twice, and that sucked. Beyond that he a) didn’t throw an interception b) only had five incompletions on a 300-yard day; two of which were barely out-of-bounds catches by Moss and one of which was Cooley’s drop c) made all the throws in a two-minute drill that resulted in a FG and d) evaded the rush before throwing downfield completions multiple times, most notably the beautiful touchdown to Moss.
Brian Billick, Thom Brennaman and Charissa Thompson — This is the best Fox team I’ve heard all year, but Billick kept screwing it up by using the term “emotional control” and referring to Santana as “Santonio” over and over. To Billick’s credit, he provides valuable insight that others don’t. To Billick’s discredit, he seems to think Alexander is still an elite back.
NEXT: Pittsburgh at Washington Monday 11/3, 8:30 p.m. ET