Where we hand out labels following each Skins game. Sadly, today’s case is a 16-7 loss at New York …
LOSERS: Jim Zorn — The offense never got going. At all. And the passing game looked real bad. They were also running the ball and huddling up in the final minutes, down two scores. And here I thought the clock management issues left with Gibbs.
Jason Campbell — Struggled mightily throughout and didn’t record his first completion until late in the first half. The future is dim.
Carlos Rogers — Got waxed by Plax to the tune of 10 catches, 133 yards and dropped two potential INTs. Still, good to see him playing again.
LaRon Landry — Got run over by Brandon Jacobs something terrible, and NBC replayed it about a dozen times. Later missed an open-field tackle on Jacobs while trying to get low. Again, it’s still good to see him out there.
Fred Smoot — Got called for pass interference in the endzone and gave up an easy 23-yarder on 3rd-and-7 in the 2nd. Later dropped an INT in the endzone before catching one later and then leaving after taking a knee to the back. So, yeah, a lot going on there. Most of it bad.
Chris Cooley — Poor blocking. One catch for 7 yards. Good blog though.
Durant Brooks — Tough first game (37.9 per on 7 punts).
WINNERS: Santana Moss — Turned a nice underneath cross into a TD, then turned a circus catch into another TD … wait, what’s that? The refs blew the play dead and Michaels and Madden never mentioned it again? Yeah, that was fun. As was ‘Tana’s crucial dropped pass late in the game.
Clinton Portis — For the amazing chip-block that flattened Kiwanuka, and also for a hard fought 84 yards rushing. Also for the mohawk.
Andre Carter — Forced Eli’s INT with pressure, and later sacked him.
Chris Wilson — Treated Chris Snee like a turnstile for a big sack on a 3rd-and-7 in the 4th.
Antwaan Randle El — I just love the way he merrily says, “Antwaan Randle El, Indiana” during the intros. Of course, he later committed not one but two false starts and performed one of his patented horizontal punt returns. So maybe not a winner.
Rock Cartwright — His 50-yard kick return led to the team’s only points.
Shaun Suisham — Put his first kickoff into the endzone. (Progress!)
NFL Network — For using
the Smiths’ Morrissey’s “Every Day Is Like Sunday” in an ad. (The Smiths may also be a loser for this same reason.)
Old Spice — For the Swagger commercial where Brian Urlacher plays an ex-LARPer, just because LARPing is a serious passion of mine.
NEXT: New Orleans at Washington Sunday 9/14, 1 p.m. ET
UPDATE: Hey, it’s Chris here. I wrote my thoughts over at The Sporting Blog, if you’re interested in being further depressed.