Nats Season Summed Up in a Paragraph

loduca_hurt.jpgChico Harlan, who has the unenviable task of following this joke of a team around all season, wrote this in his recap of the Nats humiliating 8-3 loss to the Angels last night:

By the time Hill walked from the mound in the first inning against the Angels, showered by jeers, he had allowed five hits and six runs on 35 pitches. Seven of the first eight batters he faced reached base. Left fielder Paul Lo Duca and first baseman Dmitri Young both committed errors behind him. The succession of hits — from Erick Aybar, from Vladimir Guerrero, from Torii Hunter, just to name a few — blackened the scorecards. When the inning ended, the Nationals, a team that hadn’t scored six runs in more than a week, trailed 6-0.

So, six runs by the opposition isn’t only too much for the Nats to overcome in a single nine-inning game, that’s more than they can come back from in an entire week. No pressure, pitching staff.

And, yes, you read that right: King of the Dicks Lo Duca was playing behind Hill. He started in left field and, because he’s only good at injecting ‘roids into his body and his penis into college girls, proceeded to make a throwing error within the first five minutes of the game. Then, in the third, Lo Douche left the game with “light-headedness” and was taken to the hospital. I would say that I hope he’s OK, but I don’t.

Hill was also added to the injury heap after the game and is certainly headed for the D.L. (again), where Nick Johnson, who’s done for the season (again), will be happy to keep him, or anyone else, company.

2 thoughts on “Nats Season Summed Up in a Paragraph”

  1. Maybe Lo Duca got mono from boning another teenage girl? I hear it’s going around the summer school crowd at Langley.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>