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Nationals Fans Are Stylish, Drunk
By Chris Mottram | April 24, 2008
There are several ways to prove to other fans and friends at the ballpark that you’re a true booze hound. This is important, because only the manliest of men drink to excess and lack any semblance of self-control.
Option A: Pack your own booze. Small airplane bottles tucked around the waistline tend to work well. It also helps to have a gut that hangs over your belt to help conceal said bottles. Make sure everyone around you witnesses you pouring the smuggled whiskey into your 64 oz soda. They’ll think you’re cool. Or pathetic. I always get that confused.
Option B: Spend about $80 on beer at the stadium, and set a steady beer/half-inning pace. By the seventh inning stretch you’ll be calling anyone who will listen a “whore” and potentially talking shit to fans who are rooting for the same team as you.
Option C: A combo of all of the above. This alternative comes highly recommended, and is the best way to ensure you’ll leave the game having permanently caused psychological and emotional damage to those closest to you. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up streaking, in jail, or both.
Option D: Be this guy:
Topics: Drunks, High Fashion, Nationals |
4 Responses to “Nationals Fans Are Stylish, Drunk”
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April 24th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
That’s nothing. I saw a guy rocking a VIDRO jersey last night. Straight Cash Homey!
April 24th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Bowden has his own jersey now?
April 25th, 2008 at 9:32 am
I was pretty stylish at the game last night, sporting my Mr. Walk-off shirt with work clothes. You’ll be happy to know that a bunch of random people asked me where I got it. I told them where, so if they weren’t as drunk as I was, they might remember and buy one…
April 25th, 2008 at 9:47 am
smurphette, you are a damn fine American. Thank you. (Good game too!)