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    • « Mike Merriweather Is Boom Osby’s Father | Home | Nats Park Ready for the Brothers Mottram »

    Shawne Merriman Throws Like a Girl

    By Chris Mottram | February 25, 2008

    I realize it’s, like, sexist, or whatever, to use “throws like a girl” as an insult. But let’s be honest: Most women don’t know how to properly throw a football (I can get away with saying shit like that when the Ladies are on vacation). And neither does former Terp Shawne Merriman:

    Terp or not, that guy is one goofy asshole. And by “asshole” what I mean is that “Lights Out” has to be one of the most insufferable douchebags in football. Of course, his teammate Philip Rivers would take top honor in that category.

    And how is it possible that there are men in this country who don’t know how to throw? Unless you grew up without a father, you have no excuse. You can absolutely suck at any and all other physical activities, but being able to throw a tight spiral or one-hop a baseball to the plate from left field are basic and essential elements of being part of the male species.

    Topics: Douchebags, Maryland |

    7 Responses to “Shawne Merriman Throws Like a Girl”

    1. Jamie Mottram Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 10:20 am

      Shawne, please note that the byline here reads Chris Mottram and not Jamie. Thank you.

    2. Unsilent Majority Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 10:20 am

      “Unless you grew up without a father, you have no excuse.”

      Shawne grew up without a father.

    3. NTPNate Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 10:29 am

      Johnny Damon had a dad, so what’s his excuse?

    4. ScottVanPeltStyle Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 10:30 am

      Why make this a no-daddy thing when you can call it what it is?

      His HGH sculpted arms aren’t made for throwing. They’re made for tacklin’ and scooping up Playboy bunnies.

    5. Chris Mottram Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am

      Going to a QB factory > Growing up w/o a daddy

      Also, that excuse was meant for the general public, not men who play football professionally.

    6. opasewq Says:
      February 25th, 2008 at 5:23 pm

      Saw the little man last week and did a double take

      and then this week your on it again,

      Merriman has a longer windup than Andre Woodson, and throws it with the zip of Calista Flockhart

    7. Mr_Smrtynikkers Says:
      March 21st, 2008 at 6:34 am

      And yet Rex Grossman STILL has a job! Amazing

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