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Douche, Here’s How to Deal With Mitchell
By Chris Mottram | February 16, 2008
I’m not saying Clemens used HGH, but let’s be honest: Dude used HGH.
His wife did, his hetero life mate Andy Pettitte did, shit, half his team probably did. Oh, and his trainer was the one providing the goods. So, Roger, brah, we know you took the juice. And we (or at least, I) do not care. Whether you were on the HGH or not, you’re still the best pitcher of our generation — and maybe ever — and you’re still an insufferable douchebag. And it’s this IDBness that’s doing you in.
See, if Roger wasn’t such an IDB, he would’ve simply admitted to taking HGH twice (or whatever petty shit he’s accused of), apologized, and we all would’ve moved on. You know, like Pettitte did, who has in turn become a good guy in all this while Roger is still the bad guy. Probably because he’s lying and we all know it (as you can see, I was at the hearing and could totally tell he was full of shit).
Or, Roger could’ve done what our own Paul Lo Duca did today. He issued a statement addressing the Mitchell Report, in which he admits wrong-doing and apologizes:
“In regards to Senator [George] Mitchell’s Report, I apologize to my family, all my fans and to the entire baseball community for [the] mistakes in judgment I made in the past and for the distractions that resulted. I am fully committed to being the best player and person I can be, on and off the field, for the Washington Nationals and the entire baseball community. I recognize the importance of my role in the community as a professional athlete, and I intend to focus my energies on making a positive impact in that regard.”
Problem solved.
Also, This Henry Waxman fella is a real pile of shit.
(Thanks to Grimey at LOL Jocks for the photo.)
Topics: Douchebags, Model Citizens, MLB, Nationals |
6 Responses to “Douche, Here’s How to Deal With Mitchell”
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February 16th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Clemens can’t possibly be regarded as one of the best pitchers if Bonds’ can’t be regarded as one of the best hitters. That’s what cheating does, makes you look like a clownboot overall and not just for a period of time.
February 16th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Yeah, but Clemens is white and was nicer to the media!
I never said anything bad about Bonds. He is one of the best ever, with or without the juice.
February 16th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I still despise Lo Duca. Let’s see more of the Jesus!
February 16th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I expect another apology from Lo Duca when he’s batting .230 in July.
February 16th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Never has a player been more hated before he’s even played ONE GAME for his new team.
February 17th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Clemens was,is,and always will be the most insincere,lying, selfish A-hole there is. Way to blow what was a great career, dickhead. I wonder how Suzyn Waldman feels now.