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That Fitted Is Hot, Son: Whack Thangs That Done Turned Tight Edition
By Chris Mottram | August 30, 2007
There is a mess of whack shiz in this world that usually ain’t never gonna be tight. Like such as jobs, girls who wanna make-out first, one size fits all, pigs … you grasp the concept. But then, there are some peoples who is so smart that they can take something totally lunchin’ and make that shiz mad tight through the magic of a hot fitted, son.
For instance: weaving. It’s so whack. I took six credits at community college this semester. Three of thems was for some basket weaving 101 janx. I already dropped that piece cause I could tell the teacher was racist towards males. So now I’m only in administration of justice joint, which is stupid hard. There’s mad laws in this country, for real. But anyway, this first fitted done took that weaving concept and flipped it into something so tight:
Speaking of school, it’s whack. My moms says I gots to be takin’ classes at community college if I wanna live under her roof. My moms can be a real bitch. Like last week, she made me take out the trash. It’s like, for real, what’s my stepdad so busy doin’? Probably smokin’ that herb. But anyway, New Era done created the ‘Back 2 School’ line, which is clearly tight, son. There be like nine fitteds in the collection (I gots them all, no doubt), but these three is the hottest:
I done saved the most whack for last: the circus. I’m sayin’, I ain’t scared of no one, especially not no clowns, but they is kinda freaky. And then you got like little people and elephants and women with beards who be remindin’ me of my girl and all that shiz. So whack, son. This is tight though: “NEW ERA’s Big Top 59Fifty is a circus-inspired fitted uses all-over print without going over the top. Pass the popcorn!” And pass the poon, cause that’s all you be gettin’ when you’re rockin’ this hot joint:
Off that not whack tip, I thought I’d be lettin’ y’all know that I be startin’ my own record label out my momma’s basement. It should be pretty tight, know what I’m sayin’? My boy M-Spot gots a keyboard, and my other boy F-Squared got some bongos or some shiz, and your boy Chris (aka C-Mott, aka Mo’Train, aka Lil’ Pistol Starter, aka FireSpitter82, which happens to be my MySpace name) can straight flow. Like peep what I’m talkin’ about. My first single gonna be called “That Fitted Got Me Acquitted, Son.” Here go a fresh 16 from that joint: “Jumped up outta bed and put on my fresh fitted/Got to the courthouse and the judge said, ‘Yo son, your case got aquitted.” Say word. I mean, I know that’s not 16 bars or whatever, but it’s still hot irregardless.
One.
Previously on That Fitted Is Hot, Son: Inaugural Edition | C-Notes Edition | Kaleidoscope of Gangsta Edition | Take Me to Another Place Edition | For Yo Girl Edition
Topics: Hot Fitteds, High Fashion |
4 Responses to “That Fitted Is Hot, Son: Whack Thangs That Done Turned Tight Edition”
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August 30th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
That first one reminds me of the ponchos Dylan McKay wore during his sojourns to Baja. So yeah, it’s hot, son.
August 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
If you cross your eyes and stare, I’m pretty sure a sailboat or another 3-D image will emerge from one of those hats.
August 30th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
That fact that you just took classic DC Metro slang national, (lunchin’) makes me even more of a believer in the Mottram Mantra.
Cheers to you and Tabi Bonney.
August 30th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Come on now Scott, you know I ain’t no bama, son.