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Clinton Portis’ Teammates Are the Worst
By Chris Mottram | August 29, 2007
The 7th Floor Crew is great at degrading women, not so good at remembering their friends’ birthdays. On Saturday, Clinton Portis’ age will officially match his jersey number as he turns the big 2-6. But what do you get for the man who has everything (except for a healthy knee)? Apparently, nothing at all:
“These are the worst teammates in the world. I never got anything from Santana accept what I won in a card game we weren’t supposed to be playing when we were freshmen. Sean Taylor never gave me anything. Rocky nothing. I even lobbied to bring those guys here.”
Maybe they aren’t buying Portis gifts because he lobbied to bring his homies from The U here. Don’t look now, but the Skins aren’t so great (See what I’m doing here? I’m lowing the expectations. This way, when they win seven games, I’m allowed to be ecstatic).
Coincidentally enough, Saturday is also my brother Jamie’s birthday (him and CP go way back, see photo above). He’ll be considerably older than Portis, although I hear 30 is the new 20, which I guess makes me 15. Just like Clinton’s teammates, I won’t be getting Jamie a god damn thing. Although I will attend his crabfest and get drunk off other people’s beer.
Topics: Clinton Portis, The U, Redskins |
One Response to “Clinton Portis’ Teammates Are the Worst”
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August 29th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I hear the folks from Eastern Motors, and Ben’s Chili Bowl will be chipping in to get him a nice cake.