SportsCenter: One Part Vick, One Part Every Other Sporting Topic on Earth

In an effort to completely torture myself, I decided to watch all of this morning’s SportsCenter to determine the insane extent that ESPN is covering the Michael Vick case (apparently, he IS going to jail). The results reveal that less-is-more need not apply to the Worldwide Leader:

  • The show was 48 minutes without commercials, exactly 24 minutes and 45 seconds of which was devoted to Michael Vick.
  • All or portions of Vick’s press conference was shown five times. The terms of his plea agreement were shown four times.
  • Eighteen different people shared an on-air opinion/thought on Vick (not counting the anchors): Tom Jackson, Emmitt Smith, Keyshawn Johnson, Chris Berman, Michael Wilbon, Hank Aaron, Jim Rome, Jim Fassel, Mike Torico, Tony K, Jaws, Kelly Naqi, George Smith, Roger Cossack, Sal Paolantonio, Joe Horn, Chris Mortensen and some random Falcons fan.
  • 30.6% of ESPN.com voters believe Vick should get a lifetime suspension. Overreact much?
  • Best Quote goes to Chris Berman: “To use a sports metaphor: If the ball has hit the turf, and it hit the turf on Monday, and it’s just starting to go up, and we hope it goes high, then we can be upbeat and optimistic about it.”
  • Second Best Quote: Steve Levy going into the first commercial break after 12 non-stop minutes of Vick talk: “And yes, there’s even more Michael Vick ahead on SportsCenter.”

I’m going to go bathe in gasoline now and light myself on fire.

One thought on “SportsCenter: One Part Vick, One Part Every Other Sporting Topic on Earth”

  1. Just when I thought Miss South Carolina had the worst quote of the day, Chris Berman goes rumblin’ and stumblin’ into the next segment.

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