Sure, Jon Gruden has finished off the job started by Tony Kornhesier of making Monday Night Fooball completely insufferable, but really, it’s not his fault. He’s just going by the chart. Like when Joe Gibbs used to go for two in the third quarter.
According to a totally real source that we definitely made up, this is the cheat sheet Gruden keeps in front of him while calling games. Note: Not included is any reference to a “sluggo” route or inane nicknames he makes up on the spot, as he is at liberty to blurt those out at any given time. Click image to see larger.
See also: Drew’s take on this. He seems to be the only other person who shares the same level of contempt for Gruden as me.