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Sports Provide Cause for Xenophobia

This has nothing to do with the post other than there's a football in it.Don’t like America so much? That’s cool, just check out The Phat Phree’s list of The 50 Greatest Things About America, and you might change your mind, although you’re more likely to simply laugh and continue being a terrorist.

Naturally, there are several great sports-related things about America, which are as follows:

18. The Rodeo: “Let’s tie a rope around that bull’s nuts and see if you can ride it for eight-seconds.”
“Sounds awesome.”

14. Skipping work/school to go to Opening Day at the ballpark: An afternoon game on a sunny day in April is the best place on Earth, even if you don’t like baseball.

11. Hunting Season: Once a year we are free from rednecks as they are all out trying to kill defenseless animals for fun.

9. We don’t care about soccer.: You hear that ESPN? We don’t fucking care. Okay?

1. Football: Not only the greatest thing about America, football is the single greatest human achievement.

Of course, my favorite thing about America: “Even the poor people are fat.”

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Scott Sargent

    August 1, 2007 at 11:51 AM

    You could shop out that football and I still wouldn’t mind

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