Category Archives: New York Sucks

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 24-17 loss to NY.


Brian Orakpo — Treated LT Will Beatty like a turnstile for two more sacks, giving him 5.5 in the past four games.

Perry Riley — Seemed to play well out there, at least in pass coverage.

Al Michaels — I *love* how pissed he sounded about the refs screwing up the end of the game. Do NOT play with Al Michaels’ gambling lines.

Cris Collinsworth — I’m a big fan of Cris Collinsworth. Discuss.


Pierre Garcon — What a terrible night for 88: called for delay of game after kicking the ball into the stands(!?), averaged 6.8 yards per catch, dropped two or three passes and got the ball stripped out of his arms to end the game. It’s cool, though; I’m sure RGIII will shoulder the blame.

Kyle Shanahan — Two things I don’t understand: 1) Why ditch the up-tempo no-huddle attack after it produced their first opening-drive TD of the season? 2) How does RGIII end up with more carries than Alfred Morris?

Jim Haslett — The D started strong and but just kept fading, allowing 24 points to an offense with no RBs and a QB who leads the NFL in INTs.

Kyle Nelson — The son of Sundberg grounded a punt snap, which resulted in Giants ball on the Redskins 46, which resulted in a Giants TD.

Sav Rocca — Another 38-yarder when they really needed the field position. May be the worst punter in the league.

Kai Forbath — Kai Forbath doesn’t get to try 57-yard FGs, not even at the end of the half.

Tyler Polumbus — Justin Tuck had four sacks. Four!

Fred Davis — Sleepy Davis sighting! Dropped what should’ve been a big catch on the final drive.

Ryan Kerrigan — Not sure what happened to him; he’s a real Nowhere Man.

FedEx Field — That field looks and plays so shitty.

Mike Shanahan — Two games back of the second-to-last-place team in the NFL’s worst division.


Robert Griffin III — Weird game for RGIII, but aren’t they all? He was accurate and nearly put up 300-plus total yards with no turnovers, but he also held the ball too long and took off to run too much. Bonus weird things RGIII needs to work on: 1) sliding 2) blocking 3) slipping.

Alfred Morris — Scored a touchdown and doubled his receiving totals (three catches for 27 yards), but was abandoned once again.

Evan Royster — Started at fullback in place of an injured Darrel Young, prompting Collinsworth to say he’s “probably the smallest fullback in the history of the league.”

Santana Moss — Didn’t do much, but I’m enjoying the Santana Moss Punt Returning Experience, which consists of copious hand gestures, yapping, sure-handedness and shiftiness.

Brandon Meriweather — Got run through by Peyton Hillis. Caught a gift INT.

Logan Paulsen — Caught a big TD. Also had a key drop or two; must be contagious.

The refs — What went down at the end was suspect, but I’ve got a bigger issue with the plays that happened right before (Davis’ drop) and after (Garcon’s fumble) the crime. They’re not to be forgotten.

Redskins-Giants Predictions

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. Been on the road since last Saturday, is my excuse. Hope you’re having a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, despite the state of the franchise.

Here are our staff’s completely scientific predictions for tonight. Make yours in the comments. Whoever is closest to the actual outcome wins a guest post on this here weblog.

Andy Peden: Giants, 27-20

Embarrassment on national TV again.

Jack Kogod: Giants, 24-20

Oh are they playing again?

Matt Terl: [Ed. note: Matt failed to quantify the “misery and sadness.”]

I predict misery and sadness, in one form or another.

JP Finlay: Redskins, 30-20

Giants might be worse than the Skins.

Todd Davis: 16-16 tie

Really afraid of a Swinging Gate redux, but Giants are just as bad.

Jamie Mottram: Giants, 27-17

The Redskins are actually favored to win this game.

Composite prediction: Giants, 19-16

Bryce Harper Ran Into The Wall As Tribute To Babe Ruth, Probably

Everyone knows Bryce Harper wears 34 because Mickey Mantle wore 7, right? (Three plus four equals seven, you see.) Well, what people don’t know is that Harper also ran into the wall at Dodger Stadium two months ago because Babe Ruth did the same thing in Washington, D.C. 79 years ago. (Again, probably.)

Deadspin has more for you on this wayback incident, as does For The Win. And please spare me all of your jokes about Harper signing with the Yankees once he’s free to do so. I don’t want to think about it.

DMV: Braden Holty’s Boner

Caps lose 4-3 in an ugly Game 4, return to D.C. tied at 2. [Japers’, RMNB]

Holtby inexplicably turned it over, giving New York goal No. 1. [RMNB]

Ovechkin hurt Martin Erat while trying to take out a Ranger. [USAT Sports]

Ovi got called for a penalty on the play, which was BS. [Russian Machine]

Rangers fans own Ovechkin jerseys, are putting them in refrigerators. [Bog]

Jordan Zimmerman beat Detroit, runs record to 6-1 w/ 1.59 ERA. [WaPo]

Bryce Harper hit a big fly for his 10th HR of the season. [Nats Enquirer]

Zimmermann’s postgame interview shirt was amazing. [Nats Enquirer]

Nats overturn rainout policy, meaning the Internet won. [Nats Journal]

O’s beat Royals 5-3, are tied for first in the AL East. [Camden Chat]

Jim Johnson may be baseball’s best closer. [Baltimore Sports Report]

Brian Roberts will have surgery and miss six weeks. Poor guy. [O’s Insider]

Maryland draws Ohio St. in the B1G-ACC Challenge. Nice. [Testudo Times]

Remembering Jason Collins brief, historic stint in D.C. [Truth About It]

Chad Ford has the Wiz taking Alex Len at No. 8. Ew. [Bullets Forever]

This hockey player may be the best Mr. Irrelevant of all time. [For The Win]

D.C. cabs will accept credit cards by 8/31. “For real this time.” [DCist]

This Call Went Against The Caps

Five straight penalties called on Washington. Rangers up 2-1. Discuss.

Update: And now it’s 2-2 (via Mike Green basketing the biscuit).

5 Reasons The Caps Will Let Us Down … Again

Caps correspondent Brad Parker is here to provide a counterpoint to, um, Brad Parker’s 5 Reasons This Is The Caps’ Year.

1. Henrik Lundqvist — We all know that a hot goalie can steal a game, or even a series (See: Halak, Jaroslav). Lundqvist has that kind of ability. In the 2009 series against NYR the Caps had games of four, four and give goals scored. In the past 13 playoff games against Lundqvist, Washington has scored more than three goals only once. If King Henrik is on his game another early exit may be in the offing.

2. Michael Wilbon — The man made his fame and fortune in D.C., yet he’s transformed into perhaps the greatest Washington sports troll of all time. He alternates effortlessly between slobbering over teams and athletes from his beloved Chicago, and bashing anything that has ever been associated with the nation’s capital. He has consistently slammed Ovi and the Caps and yet now he’s picking Washington to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Of course he’s then picking them to lose to the Blackhawks.

3. Special Teams — The Caps’ April surge was powered by the power play. Washington led the NHL at 26.8% on the PP, the highest success rate in more than two decades (granted it was a short season). Those extra goals were a huge part of Ovi’s rebirth and the worst-to-first run. But power plays are harder to come by in the postseason and even worse, the Rangers tied with Chicago for fewest PIMs per game. It’s very likely this series will be decided five-on-five. That doesn’t make it impossible for the Caps to win, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

4. Disappearing Acts — In the ’11 playoffs Nick Backstrom had only two points in nine games. Mike Green has had defensive lapses and scoring droughts in the playoffs. Alex Semin has been Alex Semin. (Alex Ovechkin has been the team’s leader scorer each time he’s been in the playoffs). It seems that every year a player we’re counting on disappears. We know we’ll get nothing out of Alex Semin this spring, but will there be another guy that seems like he’s no longer on the roster over the next two weeks?

5. We Can’t Have Nice Things — It’s true for D.C. sports in general. Here’s a brief look at the crew of young stars to come to DC in the past few seasons:

— Strasburg (Tommy John surgery and now the forearm issue)
— Wall (only played 49 games this season, has never played 70 in a season)
— RGIII (blew every ligament in every body part, won’t miss a single game)
— Harper (this better just be a bruise)

All of these things have happened to the Caps:

4OT loss to Pittsburgh in ’96
Esa Tikkanen missed the net
3-game-to-1 lead blown against the Pens
— 3-game-to-1 lead blown against the Pens again
— The Easter Epic (painfully retold here)
6.6 seconds!

I’m not saying, I’m just saying.