Category Archives: Mottram Rules

A Brief, Spirited, And Passive-Aggressive Beef With Chad Dukes

This was probably ill-advised, but it happened, so whatever. Here, via the magic of Storify, is last night’s Dan Steinberg-fueled shenanigans starring yours truly, 106.7 the Fan’s Chad Dukes and assorted ringside spectators.

Update: We couldn’t get the Storify embed working right on our site, so visit Mr. Irrelevant on Tumblr to go down the douche hole. Thanks.

Sorry Ladies of the Internet, Chris Mottram Is Off the Market

In case you’re wondering where we’ve been since last Wednesday, here’s a pic of Chris getting married at New River Gorge in wild and wonderful West Virginia (pic via @chrislittman):

Yeah, it was pretty fantastic. Leave a congratulatory comment if you like, and many thanks to JP Finlay for covering the Redskins beat in our absence. Also, what’d I miss?

Programming Note: Back From the Beach

We haven’t posted anything since Wednesday because I was at Chris’ bachelor party doing bachelor party things. Those things did not include sports, unless you consider beersbee or limo wrestling to be sports. But we’re back now, more or less intact.

Give me a day or two to find my blog legs, and enjoy the above photograph of Chris’ Saturday afternoon nap. He dozed off on dry land and woke up out to sea. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

Scott Van Pelt Is Aware of Our Existence

Finally, my brother’s bizarre obsession with the weather nets him something other than mockery from loved ones — a shoutout from Scott Van Pelt:

Mottrams should kill SB Nation or Mottram bros kill it? I’ll go with the latter.

That was quite nice of SVP, and it was in response to Chris retweeting something Van Pelt had tweeted about “thunder snow” and blah blah blah Twitter. (Related: Follow Chris and me and Mr. Irrelevant on Twitter!)

It wasn’t Chris’ first rodeo with the ESPN star and noted Terps fan. As you may recall, they also had a conversation on SVP’s radio program back when Chris was still at Sporting News.

Apparently, Van Pelt is a fan of Chris’ current employer (SB Nation, y’all), the brothers Mottram and, presumably, Mr. Irrelevant too. Of course, his exclusion of the Yahoo! Sports Blogs is blatant snubbery.

We’ll remember this, Van Pelt.

Redskins-Colts Open Thread

This is a matchup of 3-2 teams, although one (Indy) is +35 in points while the other (Washington) is -3. Take the two teams’ divergent recent histories into account, and you can see why the Skins are a 3.5-point underdog at home this evening. Also, Peyton Manning.

As we’ve done the past few weeks, this is your sounding board before, during and after the game, at least until Winners & Losers goes up. Enjoy.

Programming note: You may have noticed that our posting was light this week. Actually, we didn’t post at all. That’s because my son Miles was born on Tuesday. This will be his first Redskins game.

Mr. Irrelevant Milestones: 2,000 Posts, Etc.

Chris and I joined forces and moved Mr. I to WordPress almost three years ago, all the way back when Flight of the Conchords was topical.

Since then he was hired by Sporting News, and then SB Nation. I left AOL for Yahoo!. He relocated to Charlotte, and I to Wilmington. He bought a house. I became a dad. And between then and now we’ve made 2,000 posts on this blog.

The milestone post happened last Monday I think, probably with that day’s DMV. It was like all the rest, except it marked the passage of time, specifically all of our time wasted spent blogging since July 2007.

Coincidentally, Mr. Irrelevant has reached a few other milestones lately:

1,000 followers – Maybe more, actually, but there’s at least 1,000 via Google Reader, Twitter and Facebook. Followers are the best.

10,000 comments – My favorite emails are the ones alerting me to a new comment, usually telling me to stop picking on Rob Dibble or something. We don’t get that many though, about five/post over time.

4 million page views – That’s 2,000/post, which sounds a little better.

But those are just numbers. What matters is that we enjoy doing this, and that you enjoy reading it. Nobody pays us for it, you know, and the prospect of some sort of jackpot is pretty far-fetched. It’s worth doing still.

Do me a favor though: Let us know what you like about the site and what you don’t. Fresh ideas are welcome too. Oh, and if you could find our gray sweatpants that would be great.

Off-Topic: WaPo Critic Slams Vienna Inn

We’ve probably eaten at the Vienna Inn more than any other restaurant in our lives, and WaPo food critic Tom Sietsema just gave it a half-star review.

His beef with the Northern Virginia institution famous for chili, beer and good company? “Rushed service” … “no one asks how we want ‘the hamburger’ cooked” … “the home fries are not the least bit crisp” … “chipped beef on toast is gray and industrial-tasting” … and so on.

Here’s the thing though: We’ve never ordered anything but fully-loaded dogs (chili, cheese, mustard, onions) and cheese fries. I think our dad used to get the chili mac. Our mom usually ventures off and gets grilled chicken or some shit. But it’s not about the food.

It’s about the place we and every other kid in and around the town of Vienna grew up with. Way-back prices, a laid-back vibe, hot dogs and cold beer are what keep us coming. It’s why it’s hard to find a seat in the joint.

We’ve been there to celebrate victories, take lunch breaks, pregame, postgame, watch a game, whatever. When a friend’s father died we all went there after the funeral. It’s a place to bring out-of-towners, it’s where you’ll see the same old-timers hugging the same barstools and it’s where I took my baby girl the first time we brought her back home.

The ownership is different now, and the waitresses aren’t so salty anymore, but the VI is pretty much the same as it ever was. It’s a slice of NoVa’s old country hanging in there despite NoVa’s suburban sprawl, and to rip it for its culinary shortcomings is to miss the mark by an old country mile.

Cooleys vs. Mottrams Throw-Off Part II, in Which the Outcome is Determined

As promised last Thursday, here is our half of the throw-off against the Cooleys. (Watch their half here, or after the jump.) The video evidence provides a clear winner to the competition. Spoiler alert: It’s the Mottrams.

Two quick footnotes to the throw-off: 1) We attempted to record an accuracy portion, but Jamie’s camera had no memory left. Keep in mind his daughter’s first birthday party was the day before; 2) No stakes were ever set, so feel free to let us know what our award should be. We’re thinking free tickets to a Skins game this year. The Cooleys probably know people who can make that happen.

Continue reading Cooleys vs. Mottrams Throw-Off Part II, in Which the Outcome is Determined

Cooleys vs. Mottrams Throw-Off, Part I

Nearly two months ago, Jamie posted video of Chris Cooley tossing a football to little tikes, after which he declared “Cooley throws like a girl.” Based on that video, this seemed like a factual statement.

This then prompted the Brothers Cooley to challenge the Brothers Mottram to a good ol’ fashion throw-off. (Or maybe we challenged them; I don’t really recall.) With the Cooleys living in Ashburn, VA and the Mottrams residing on opposite sides of North Carolina, the logisitics were tricky.

But alas, the Cooleys have held up their end of the challenge and recorded the results. (Jamie and I will be doing the same this weekend in Wilmington, NC and posting our half of the throw-off on Monday.)

A few things we’d like to point out:

1) Tanner’s claim that we’ve never played organized sports is false. Fact: Combined, we’ve played just about every sport in an organized fashion. Except football. Probably not a useful resume for this specific competition.

2) The accuracy portion of this video is pointless. In all of our years playing backyard two-hand-touch and Turkey Bowls, we’ve never had the occasion to throw at a target 10 feet off the ground. Every pass at the crossbar would be incomplete. We shall come up with a better accuracy test for our portion.

3) We are 100% certain that our combined distance will beat the Cooleys 105-yard total.

Remember: Come back Monday to watch a couple bloggers beat an All-Pro tight end in a football competition.