Category Archives: Meatheads

Stephen Strasburg Is Just a Big Pussy Who Needs to Man-Up, Or Something

The Strasburg Shutdown Debate (SSD) has grown out of control the last couple weeks. It’s gone from a local discussion to a national debate, with everyone from Ken Rosenthal to Rudy Giuliani offering worthless, straw man opinions that serve to only make SSD more insufferable.

But even more infuriating are the “baseball people” — former and current players, managers, etc. — issuing quotes from the Rob Dibble School of Man’ing Up about how Strasburg needs to INSIST he keeps pitching through the playoffs. As if this is somehow his decision, or that he somehow doesn’t want to continue playing.

These people are fucking morons.

Just last night we had two more examples. First, there was Chipper Jones, who said, “If I was him, I’d be throwing a fit.” Because Strasburg throwing a tantrum is going to be a productive and successful means of getting the front office to change its mind. This is professional advice from a 40-year-old veteran to a second-year player.

Then there was this from MLB Network’s Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams: “If it was me, it would have to be at gunpoint. There’s zero chance that I’m going to go quietly.”

How does this scenario work? Listen, Mr. Rizzo, I see that Lannan is already out there warming up, but you are going to have to shoot me in the face to stop me from barging onto the field, taking the ball from John and inserting myself into this game as the starting pitcher. So, what’s it gonna be? Seems reasonable.

The thing that everyone who has just now joined the SSD is missing is that Strasburg isn’t kicking and screaming about being shutdown because it was a decision that was made five months ago. That doesn’t make him less of a man, or less passionate, or competitive, or whatever. He’s accepting it. And the rest of us should do the same. Strasburg isn’t going to pitch in the playoffs. That’s that. So try to enjoy the run and be grateful we get to watch him pitch again next April.

Microphones on NHL Players? Brilliant!

Watch as the Rangers and Devils exchange pleasantries (via AA):

This is pretty much the exact scene at the bar anytime Maryland is playing Duke, with me being the New Jersey player, Jamie being the referee and the Duke fan being the Rangers guy. How I’ve never a) got my ass kicked, b) been arrested* is still baffling to me. I guess there is plenty of time left yet to accomplish both of those.

*Unless you count that pesky disorderly conduct I got in Providence, RI. Note to self: Don’t urinate on the side of government buildings. It’s frowned upon by the police.

Deadlifting Skills > Pass Rushing Skills

Phillip Daniels is an aging defensive end who hasn’t done much for the Skins lately, and I couldn’t care less about him other than when he makes me yearn for the days of Dexter and Charles coming off the ends …

WHOA! PHILLIP DANIELS IS NOT MAN HE IS MACHINE! 600 POUNDS, SON!

So, yeah, here’s to my new favorite DE making mince meat of Eli in the just-announced Skins-Giants season opener A.K.A. the Rise of Zorn.

(A nod to my old soul brother MDS over at FanHouse for the video.)