Category Archives: Lucky Bastards

Albert Haynesworth Is So Rich, He …


  • … had 27 trees taken out of the backyard of his riverfront home in Knoxville (something his new boss knows something about).
  • … had his pool waterfall redone three times to get it just right.
  • … drives a $300,000 Mercedes AMG convertible.
  • … owns a boat that goes over 150 mph.
  • … also owns a Lazzara LSX 75, which is “a breathtaking 77-foot yacht” that “retails for roughly $4.2 million”, has four bedrooms, four bathrooms and “stark-white, ostrich-skin furniture.”

Yeah, ostrich skin, on his 77-foot yacht.

And the good news, if you’re a Skins fan, is that Haynesworth doesn’t feel he’s earned his non-guaranteed $100 million contract just yet, so he’s still busting his ass to collect every dime.

Why, I don’t know. If it was me I’d live like Eddie Murphy at the start of Coming to America, which is sort of the problem with the Skins’ approach.

Watch Chris Cooley’s New Reality Show

This is a six-minute trailer for a new web series called “The Cooley Zone”:

The show is “coming soon” and mine was only the fourth viewing, so it may or may not be a figment of my imagination. Watch for yourself, though, and enjoy a man living beyond your means, showing off his young bride* and cursing like a sailor all the while.

Somewhere, likely in a palace of his own, Gilbert shakes a fist.

* The opening shot is a large framed photograph of the Cooley’s in a warm, loving, nude embrace, which is awesome.

LaRon Landry Remains Modest

When you see LaRon’s Hummer pictured below, I know what you’re gonna think: That’s a man who craves attention. But it ain’t even about that. No, LaRon upgraded from the stock 20s to the 30s for one reason only: because that’s his jersey number. If that’s some sort of theme amongst NFL players, I’d love to see the rims on Jason Taylor’s ride.


Really, compared to the F-650 and the lime Lambo, this Hummer is about as head-turning as Jamie’s ’01 Maxima (it still has all four hubcaps!). But none of those three rides are Landry’s favorites, as he told Matt Terl:

I have two favorites. My Benz – I have an S63 AMG Benz, y’know, that’s the all around great ride for me. And my Corvette, I love my Corvette probably a little bit more than my Lamborghini, because … it’s not that it’s a better car, it’s that if you’re gonna spend that much money on a Lamborghini you wanna take care of it. But with the Vette, I’ve done a lot of upgrades to my Vette: changed my heads, the cams, all kinds of stuff.

Right, that makes sense. Any fool knows that a ‘Vette is totally just your typical, run-of-the-mill $55,000 beater ride; not something you’d actually wanna take good care of.

Continue reading LaRon Landry Remains Modest

It’s Art Monk Football Camp in Zubaz!

Because Redskins artifacts dated 1982-92 bring me great joy, we’ve already posted the Art Monk Football Camp hat in mesh, but this Zubaz version takes it to a new level entire:


Beautiful, and it comes via Bog Man Dan, who spied it at Sunday’s tailgate and emails in lowercase shorthand:

25 year old eben altmann from rockville, older brother went to monk’s camp about 20 years ago, eben had monk sign everything skins he owned

Eben is it? What a Sublime nut, huh? Regardless, we thank him for sharing his priceless lid, and the accompanying t-shirt that I want real bad:

Continue reading It’s Art Monk Football Camp in Zubaz!

The Fifth-Greatest Redskins Hat Ever, As Worn By the Coolest Mr. Irrelevant Reader

We’re not necessarily ranking the awesomeness of these Redskins hats anymore so much as we are continuing a series. If you’d like to add to the fun, please send along the great Skins hat(s) of your own.

This one comes from a fellow going by the name of CamLwalk, who says, “Check out this bad boy. Worn it since 1979. Flattop corduroy!”


I love that he reads Mr. Irrelevant. Of course he does. Anyway, follow the jump for a closer look (of the hat, not the dude) …
Continue reading The Fifth-Greatest Redskins Hat Ever, As Worn By the Coolest Mr. Irrelevant Reader

The 3rd and 4th Greatest Skins Hats Ever

On the heels of the Hogs hat and Art Monk Football Camp comes a beauty, this mesh joint recalling my favorite game of all-time (via David Chalk):


And here’s yet another in mesh, this one sitting on fur and harking back to the first game I can remember (via The Mayor):


If you have something at home that tops these, please knock the dust off it, take some pics and send it my way. It needs to be shared.

It’s the Greatest Redskins Hat of All-Time

Considering there’s already a Burgundy & Gold Zubaz Super Bowl XXVI hat in our family, that headline is saying a lot, but this clearly takes the cake:


That right there is a Hogs mesh hat, purchased by my mother in-law from a street vendor outside RFK Stadium circa 1985. Hogs. Mesh. RFK. 1985.

Try not to get jealous that I married into this, and follow the jump for a profile and the little piggy tail on the back …
Continue reading It’s the Greatest Redskins Hat of All-Time