Breaking: John Kruk Is Already Dead

I couldn’t believe this when I heard it late last night either, but apparently John Kruk has been dead for some...

Eric Young Is the Emmitt Smith of MLB

This morning I flipped on SportsCenter and caught some baseball highlights, particularly Cliff Lee’s nine-inning, no-run performance that lowered his ERA...

Bill Simmons and Rod Benson Are BFF

I’m a little fuzzy on what the Boom Tho movement actually is (other than, you know, being a movement), but I...

Mike Patrick Determined to Convince Us That Coach K Is Not an Asshole

In case you didn’t hear, Coach K won his 800th game. That’s just fantastic. I’m so thrilled for him. And you...

Spitting Image: Star Wars’ Jabba the Hut And ESPN’s Mike Patrick

Before the Duke-Maryland game last night (which we shall never speak of again), Mike Patrick did a little intro to tell...

That’s it, Mike Patrick Must Be Stopped

If you’ll recall, it was one week ago that Mike Patrick couldn’t keep Paulus’ balls off his chin. Well, during tonight’s...

Taylor Was a Thug, The Media Said So

Sarah Schorno (who happens to be an outstanding writer … for a girl) wrote a great piece yesterday that completed echoed...

Wiz Set to Have Best Season Since ’79

ESPN.com has not one, not two, but 10 NBA experts, and six of them don’t know what they’re talking about as...

Emmitt Smith Is No Sea Captain

As horrible as Emmitt is on the ‘MNF’ pre and post game nonsense, he is totally the best part of the...

Stu Scott Breaks Down Poetry Jam on SC

What can I possibly add to the ridiculousness of Stu Scott’s Garnett-inspired poetry jam from last night? Let’s just say that...